Main Page

the acts and pages of

HOMESTUCK

a guide for fans of
the web adventure

documented by

RAFE SALTMAN

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art and excerpts
from homestuck

  © 2009-2016  

ANDREW HUSSIE


Act 1

Act 2

Act 3

Int

Act 4

5–1

5–2

EOA5

6–1

6–2

6–3

6–4

6–5

6-6-1

6-6-2

6-6-3

6-6-4

6-6-5

6-6-6

Act 7


Part 1 log


Part 2 log


Part 3 log


Part 4 log

Homestuck Part 4

spoilers ahead!

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 1

“HOMOSUCK”

—and—

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 1

“Stardust”

Page 8143  Page 8144 Page 8150 Page 8156 Page 8161 Page 8172

Page 8178  Page 8179 Page 8195 Page 8214 Page 8233 Page 8247
Page 8272 Page 8286 Page 8300 Page 8315 Page 8330
Page 8342 Page 8351 Page 8359 Page 8365 Page 8372

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 2

“LOSHIT”

—and—

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 2

“theres problems”

Page 8375  Page 8384 Page 8394 Page 8407 Page 8422 Page 8429

Page 8431  Page 8449 Page 8473 Page 8493 Page 8511 Page 8528
Page 8551 Page 8572 Page 8593 Page 8613 Page 8636
Page 8663 Page 8681 Page 8707 Page 8728 Page 8751

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3

“GOD’S GIFT TO THE YAOIS”

—and—

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3

“GAME OVER”

Page 8753  Page 8764 Page 8771 Page 8781 Page 8785 Page 8799

Page 8801  Page 8802 Page 8805 Page 8811 Page 8814 Page 8819

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4

“DARK NIGHT OF THE FEELINGS”

—and—

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4

“F1X TH1S”

Page 8821  Page 8822 Page 8829 Page 8837 Page 8840 Page 8842

Page 8844  Page 8846 Page 8864 Page 8881 Page 8904 Page 8920
Page 8935 Page 8947 Page 8962 Page 8983 Page 8998
Page 9020 Page 9039 Page 9059 Page 9080 Page 9105
Page 9117 Page 9140 Page 9155 Page 9175 Page 9195
Page 9219 Page 9234 Page 9248 Page 9267 Page 9274
Page 9280 Page 9288 Page 9294 Page 9305 Page 9307

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 5

“MASTERPIECE”

—and—

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5

“She’s 8ack”

Page 9309  Page 9319 Page 9323 Page 9334 Page 9346 Page 9348

Page 9349  Page 9350 Page 9356 Page 9376 Page 9388 Page 9411
Page 9426 Page 9445 Page 9463 Page 9477 Page 9499
Page 9526 Page 9545 Page 9560 Page 9576 Page 9588
Page 9608 Page 9632 Page 9649 Page 9676 Page 9694
Page 9716 Page 9735 Page 9754 Page 9779 Page 9798
Page 9817 Page 9831 Page 9842 Page 9859 Page 9883
Page 9900 Page 9917 Page 9935 Page 9948 Page 9958
Page 9966 Page 9976 Page 9983 Page 9985 Page 9986

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 6

“Collide.”

Page 9987  Page 9989 Page 9998 Page 10009 Page 10018 Page 10022

ACT 7

“The Rapture”

—and—

CREDITS

“Post Canon”

Page 10027  Page 10030 

PART 4 BY DATE POSTED
datepagescenes and eventsadventure log
June 12 2013 8143

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 1.

Cinematic 97: HOMOSUCK.

Having achieved total domination over his quest, Caliborn takes over the story and retells Homestuck Act 1 in his own style.

In Caliborn’s version, Bogus John dies when the meteor hits his house.

Caliborn unintentionally unlocks a cabinet and discovers a game cartridge designed to tell the rest of Act 6 behind his back. He sabotages it with Special Stardust and sticks it in.

[S] ACT 6 ACT 6

HOMOSUCK.

HERE IS WHAT REALLY MATTERS.

THEN HE STARTED CLIMBING THE GOD TIERS.

WITH EACH GOD TIER HE CLIMBED.

BUT THERE WAS ONE BADGE HE GOT.

IN MY DREAM. I AM THIS CHERUB.

I DOUBT IT.

MALE: EXAMINE ROOM.

MALE: DO SOME STUFF.

MALE: GO OPEN THAT CHEST.

MALE: HIDE INSIDE CHEST.

MALE: GO OVER THERE.

MALE: DO A DANCE ON THE SHAPE.

IT IS HAPPENING AT YOUR EXPENSE!

THIS IS JUST A CLEVER TRICK THOUGH.

MALE: EXERCISE FREEDOM TO LEAVE ROOM.

MALE: LEAVE BUILDING.

MALE: BOGGLE VACANTLY AT THESE SHENANIGANS.

I AM ALMOST CERTAIN CHERUB SHAKESPEARE SAID THAT.

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE STORY.

MALE: GET MURDERED BY EXPLOSION.

CONFIRM THE KILL.

THE END. OF ACT 1.

VILLAINOUS LAUGHTER: HAPPEN.

what was that.

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June 14 2013 8178

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 1.

Cinematic 98: GRIM PILOT.

Jade pilots the meteor through a Skaia defense portal and sends it crashing into Sea Hitler’s Water Apocalypse. Then the story skips due to the dust in the cartridge. We glimpse Jane ectobiologizing with GCat, and Jade fighting John.

Jade scatters Karkat, Kanaya, Rose, Terezi, Dave, and the Vagabond around the newly merged session. They suffer amnesia and glitched dialogue.

[S] ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 1

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June 15 2013 8184

In Derse prison, Jane visits Jake while Jade visits Roxy.

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June 17 2013 8191

Jade tells Roxy to make the Matriorb.

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June 19 2013 8199

Dave, back in his apartment on LOHAC with the Mayor, reminisces. John zaps in and catches Dave looking at his old selfies.

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June 20 2013 8215

On the run from Grimbark Jade, John blows away.

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June 21 2013 8219

Jade ropes Dave into reconstructing his legendary weapon, Caledfwlch.

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June 30 2013 8224

Jade and Jane visit Karkat and Kanaya on LOFAF. Jade explains how she rescued Alpha Earth and orders the trolls to go see Echidna. They refuse. Jane proves her resolve by impaling Karkat on her trident.

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July 1 2013 8231

John blows in and laments Karkat’s death.

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July 2 2013 8234

Jane resurrects Karkat. John eludes Jade with a canonspace jump. She zaps after him, leaving Jane alone with the trolls.

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July 11 2013 8243

Ain’t no party like a hungover seer party.

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July 12 2013 8249

Rose and Terezi suffer sensory overload on LOLAR as the gross stardust settles in. Gamzee steals Rose’s pillow under cover of the glitches.

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July 13 2013 8262

John blows the artifacts away. He discusses his canonspace ability with Rose and she asks him to find the Nobles.

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July 15 2013 8266

John narrowly blows away from Jade again. Rose discovers the theft of her pillow.

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July 30 2013 8276

Flying back from the edge of the Medium, Dirk asks Lil’ Hak for a situation report and regrets it.

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July 31 2013 8279

Dirk flies through a patch of artifacts.

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August 2 2013 8282

Jade challenges Dave to a swordfight.

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August 3 2013 8285

Dave refuses the call and forswears time travel.

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August 4 2013 8288

Jade kicks the Mayor off the roof. Dave swoops down and saves him from the lava.

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August 5 2013 8295

Dirk contacts Dave, who confuses him for Davesprite due to the glitch noise.

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August 6 2013 8297

Pseudogame 27: THE BUSINESSWOMAN.

Jane sells Kanaya an obscene amount of troll blood at an obscene profit.

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August 7 2013 8301

John zaps back to LOHAC just as Jade is telling Dave to fight.

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August 8 2013 8304

John’s presence alters canon events by derailing Dave’s refusal of the call.

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August 9 2013 8305

Rose contemplates the call.

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August 10 2013 8311

Rose interrupts Kanaya’s spending spree.

Terezi blindfolds herself and goes hunting for Gamzee.

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August 11 2013 8316

John zaps behind himself, reverting canon events by zapping himself away from LOHAC before he is noticed.

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August 13 2013 8320

John has himself a staredown.

The stumps and dismay begin to get to us.

John zaps himself to Jake’s jail cell.

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August 16 2013 8337

John sweeps the glitches away unnoticed by Jane or Jake.

Jane puts the kibosh on Jake’s corny old man nonsense.

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August 19 2013 8343

Jane outlines her imperious intentions. Jake appeals to Brain Ghost Dirk, but he is not real enough to help.

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August 20 2013 8347

John meets Roxy.

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August 21 2013 8352

John tells Roxy all about what happened in his session.

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August 24 2013 8357

Roxy reciprocates and relates Calliope’s problem. John offers to get the Ring of Life for her.

Inspired, Roxy makes progress on her matriorb conjuration.

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August 27 2013 8366

John returns to LOMAX to find the ring missing. Astonished, he zaps away again.

Curtains.

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August 28 2013 8375

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 2.

Homosuck continues, now starring Bogus Dave and his “bitches.”

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 2

BE A DIFFERENT MALE.

HE HAS EXCEPTIONAL TASTE IN PUPPETS.

ALPHA MALE: CALL FOR BACKUP.

SEND IN THE BITCHES.

ACTUALLY. LET'S INVITE A COUPLE MORE TO THE PARTY.

August 29 2013 8381

The real John intrudes on Homosuck. Caliborn tries to cover up John’s presence.

ALPHA MALE: BEGIN GAME.

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DISREGARD THE UNIMPORTANT MALE GHOST BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

LET'S CONTINUE.

ALPHA MALE: GO OUTSIDE.

August 30 2013 8392

Bogus Dave and his entourage enter the Land of Someone’s Handicrafts I Took.

ALPHA MALE: BE ON ROOF.

SUDDENLY. THERE IS A DRAMATIC CHANGE.

I DON'T RECALL WHAT HIS LAND WAS THOUGH.

WOW, YES. SO GOOD.

ALPHA MALE: WHISTLE FOR STALLIONS.

STALLIONS: DESCEND.

MOUNT STEEDS.

STEEDS: RIDE.

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August 31 2013 8402

They ride Emberley horses through the Emberley land. John crashes Shit Biscuit into Bogus Roxy and she falls apart.

Bogus Dave forges a sword from some of Dirk’s smut.

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THE ALPHA MALE IS ACCOSTED BY A PACK OF WILD FOES.

ALPHA MALE: RECEIVE BOON FROM YOUR CREATOR.

OPEN CHEST.

WITH YOUR TRUSTY SMUT. FORGE A SWORD.

September 1 2013 8417

Bogus Dave defeats some Emberley minions. Caliborn tries to reward him with a kiss from Bogus Rose. John, angered, breaks Bogus Dave and calls Caliborn a creep.

STRIKE THE WITCH.

YOUR NOBLE MOUNT ABSORBS MOST OF THE DAMAGE THOUGH.

THE WITCH ALSO DIES FROM HER INJURIES.

AS A RESULT OF ALL THAT. THE ROBOT GOES CRAZY.

ALPHA MALE: RECEIVE SPOILS.

STORY RECTANGLE: ZOOM IN ON RAUNCHY SEDUCTION.

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September 2 2013 8426

Caliborn buries John in a pile of Bogus Daves. John swears to kill Caliborn.

IT SEEMS THE ALPHA MALE HAS BEEN SLAIN.

TIME TRAVEL KEEPS HAPPENING!

THE DUDE PILE. DOESN'T STOP. FROM GETTING TALLER.

THAT'S THE END OF HOMOSUCK. ACT. UH.

THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO MY STORY.

September 2 2013 8431

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 2.

Jane builds Jake’s house up.

Gamzee, having stolen the Ring of Life, goes to sleep in the fridge on the battleship.

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 2

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September 3 2013 8440

Gamzee brings the ring to the Furthest Ring and gives it to Aranea. She puts it on and joins him in the waking world.

Ambient 9: FUCHSIA RINGER.

Meenah rings Aranea and asks her to come back to the Furthest Ring. Aranea declines, revealing her plan to single-handedly avert the creation of the cherubs’ universe.

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September 4 2013 8459

Harnessing the telekinetic power of her ghosty Damaras, Aranea pilots the battleship away from LOMAX.

Meenah rings Karkat.

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September 5 2013 8469

Jane follows the battleship to Derse, where it has been parked illegally, and rings Jade.

Aranea wakes Jake.

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September 6 2013 8476

Aranea heals Jake.

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September 7 2013 8487

Jade joins Jane on Derse. Their contemplation of the shitty parking job is interrupted by a giant hopesplosion.

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September 8 2013 8494

Roxy scarpers, avoiding the angels flying out of the hopesplosion.

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September 9 2013 8500

Jake emerges, radiating

hope
hope
hope

and corny old man nonsense.

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September 10 2013 8512

Jade fails to zap Jake to the Furthest Ring.

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September 11 2013 8517

Jade switches the planets, bringing everyone from Derse to LOFAF. Karkat sees the

hope
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field overhead and rings Dave.

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September 12 2013 8525

The

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field keeps growing. Jade tests her strength against Jake’s.

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September 13 2013 8535

The power of

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overwhelms the power of the Green Sun, defeating Jade and knocking her unconscious.

A lake of lava forms next to the Forge.

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September 14 2013 8542

Aranea drops Jade’s house on her, killing her. Jade’s death is judged just.

Cinematic 99: LUCKY BREAK.

Dave leaves for LOFAF and rings Rose.

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September 15 2013 8557

Jane flies to Jade.

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September 16 2013 8566

Aranea introduces herself to Roxy and puts her to sleep.

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September 17 2013 8570

Jade, not knowing whether she is dead or dreaming, visits Calliope in her sanctuary in the Furthest Ring.

Gamzee tackles and gropes Jane. Dave arrives and discovers Jade under the house.

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September 18 2013 8590

Brain Ghost Dirk becomes real. Terezi arrives with a surprise attack on Gamzee.

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September 19 2013 8596

Terezi and Dirk wound their immortal adversaries.

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September 20 2013 8606

Terezi tries in vain to kill Gamzee, driving him back over the lake of lava.

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September 21 2013 8613

Jane and Dave discover Bec Noir and the Prospitian Monarch taking Jade’s body.

Jade and Calliope discuss trollsonæ.

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September 22 2013 8618

Jane summons GCat to distract the doggy carapacians.

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September 23 2013 8627

Noir and the Monarch chase after GCat without putting down the body. Dave flies off after them.

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September 24 2013 8634

Rose arrives.

Karkat and Kanaya run toward the action.

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September 28 2013 8640

Dirk starts ripping the soul out of Aranea’s body.

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October 1 2013 8647

Vriska and Meenah lament Aranea’s hubris.

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October 2 2013 8650

The

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field and Brain Ghost Dirk’s realness dwindle.

Rose airlifts Roxy.

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October 3 2013 8656

Gamzee’s apathy tortures Terezi.

Jane skewers Jake.

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d
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October 6 2013 8669

Jake lands already.

Aranea’s soul snaps back into her body. Jane charges at her and is not deterred by psychically induced sleep.

Gamzee breaks free of Aranea’s mind control and turns the tables on Terezi.

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October 11 2013 8695

The sleepwalking Jane grapples Aranea.

The Special Stardust drifts back in.

Jake returns from a death judged neither heroic nor just. He and Rose watch as Gamzee gets his revenge on Terezi. Gamzee slams Terezi into the house piece, breaking it in two.

Karkat and Kanaya arrive.

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October 16 2013 8723

Jane’s royal sceptre culling fork sinks into the lava, offering cloud visions in its melting Skaian orb.

Gamzee catches Terezi at the edge of the lava and pulls her up. Rose shoots a spell at them.

The Condesce flies in on the Battleship Condescension.

Curtains.

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October 17 2014 8753

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3.

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 3

October 18 2014 8754

Caliborn perfects his crafts manship and becomes the Supreme Doujinshi Man Gaka.

YOUR UNIMPATIENCE HAS BEEN APPRECIATED.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW DID I DO SUCH A SENSATIONAL FEAT? YOU ASK.

THIS FACT IS CALLED A *GAME CHANGER*.

KRABKRAB. HONK FRIEND. CAPE DOUCHE.

SMELLY HORSE MAN. OTHER GUY. BULL HORN WIMP.

AND LEST WE FORGET. A SALTY ARRAY. OF MISCELLANEOUS BITCHES.

OH. ALSO. THE BEFORE TROLLS. IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

BUT THESE PORTRAITS ARE NOW A MOOT POINT.

BEHOLD, MY EXCLUSIVE PRIVATE GALLERY.

OK, THAT'S ENOUGH ADMIRATION. BACK TO OUR STORY.

YOU MAY RECOLLECT. THAT THIS BLUSHING BISHONEN DREAM BOAT.

OH MY. WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

OK. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

BUT HEAR ME OUT!

I MUST SAY. THE ARTISTIC PLOY. IS INGENIOUS.

MAGICAL IN ITS FORBIDDENALITY.

OH, BUT WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S NONE OTHER. THAN WHAT'S HER FACE.

7. GETTING MURDERED IN DRAWINGS.

WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

"IDIOT GIRL NUMBER WHATEVER" LIKES:

7. NOT BEING WORTH ANYTHING. (A.K.A. "WORTHLESS")

HERE COMES ANOTHER PRIME O.C. OF MINE, HOT OFF THE PRESS.

AS FOLLOWS:

IT THINK WE'VE WASTED ENOUGH TIME ON THESE NOBODIES.

UH OH. HERE HE COMES.

DAAAAAAAAAAAMN.

SERIOUSLY. CAN I GET A GOD DAMN?

ALSO, HOW ABOUT A HAT?

BIG MAN: HOLLER FOR YOUR WOMAN.

GODDESS OF MANGA: BOW DOWN.

October 19 2014 8786

John appears behind Caliborn and spoils for a fight.

SOMETHING IS A MISS.

HIS EYES ARE SUPPOSED TO FLICKER ABOUT.

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. WE HAVE A HATER.

GAME OVER KID.

October 25 2014 8801

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3.

Cinematic 100: GAME OVER.

John roughs up Caliborn and zaps away.

Karkat, Jake, Jane, Gamzee, Kanaya, and Dave die. Jake and Dave’s deaths are judged heroic. Jane’s death is judged just. Terezi and Rose are critically wounded. Roxy rescues Rose. LOFAF and LOLAR collide. LOHAC and LOCAH collide. LOTAK and LOMAX collide.

The Condesce has Aranea at her mercy.

[S] GAME OVER.

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3 (Already in progress)

October 26 2014 8803

The Condesce flicks the Ring of Life off Aranea’s finger and snaps her neck. Aranea’s death is judged just.

John zaps back into the session.

Silent film 35: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?

Curtains.

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November 2 2014 8821

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4.

Caliborn suffers a creative calamity. He rejects his manga phase, falls back on the basics, and designs the stage on which his masterpiece will be presented.

Cinematic 101: BYE FOREVER, ALMOST.

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 4

...........

THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

AS SUCH, I MUST ADMIT.

THIS IS MY NADIR.

I BUST MY CHERUB HUMP FOR YOU "PEOPLE".

UNGRATEFULTUDE.

I KNOW WHAT THE CRUX TO THIS HORRIBLE PROBLEM IS.

SURE, SOME OF THEIR LIES HAVE SOME CORRECT QUALITIES.

MY TRUE PASSION. IS TELLING STORIES.

I BLEED THE BLOOD.

I SWEAT THE STUFF.

AND I WEEP THE TEARS.

OF A POET.

AND LIKE ANY BEAUTIFUL ART POET.

ADDITIONAL ANGLES.

AND AGAIN I WILL RISE.

AND SO I BIDE MY TIME.

BUT THE THING IS.

AND SO I WILL NEED YOU TO PLUNGE YOUR GRUBBY FISTS.

THE SAVVY CASH GIVER WILL ALSO BE PLEASED TO KNOW.

PLEASE STAND BY VERY IMPATIENTLY.

[S] BYE FOREVER, ALMOST.

November 3 2014 8844

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4.

Only LOWAS and LOPAN are intact. John flies around, examining the wreckage of the other six planets.

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 4

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November 5 2014 8853

John meets Dirk, who has returned from the edge of the session. Dirk becomes incoherent amid the glitch noise. John sees Roxy airlifting Rose.

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November 7 2014 8865

Roxy takes Rose to LOPAN. Rose laments losing Kanaya and then dies. Rose’s death is judged heroic.

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November 10 2014 8884

John and Roxy grieve and contemplate giving up the game.

Terezi flies in on her dragon rocket, crash lands in front of John, and headbutts him for asking a stupid question.

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November 12 2014 8907

Jade and Callie talk about their childhood. Jade recalls that she met a god tier ghost Calliope who told her some stories in an earlier dream.

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November 14 2014 8922

Terezi reports that everyone is dead and tells John to change what happened.

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November 17 2014 8929

Roxy suggests John should go to his denizen. John agrees on the condition that Roxy goes to hers. Roxy leaves to see Nix.

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November 19 2014 8937

Terezi tries a mindy thing and then sends John on his way.

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November 21 2014 8959

Jade tells Callie two stories she remembers while Callie illustrates them in a book.

The first story is about how Jade’s past differs from the one we saw. During the trip through the Yellow Yard, Typheus made LOWAS explode with John and Davesprite on it, leaving Jade dismayed and alone for the rest of the journey. Then she dreamed and met the Calliope who predominated.

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November 24 2014 8978

The second story is about John resuming his personal quest in the Special Stardust timeline after everything went wrong.

Ambient 10: AUDIENCE WITH TYPHEUS.

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November 26 2014 8987

John’s denizen, Typheus, challenged him to master his canon-zapping power or die. But instead of removing himself, John zapped away the oil he was drowning in. All the oil on LOWAS was dispersed throughout canon. The planet was finally clean.

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November 28 2014 8998

Cinematic 102: THE MUSIC OF BREATH.

John plays his song through the clean pipes of LOWAS, blowing away all the clouds.

A puff of air ejects the Act 6 Act 6 Supercartridge, knocking out all the Special Stardust.

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December 1 2014 8999

Lil’ Seb sticks the Supercartridge back in.

John’s land has been relocated from the Medium to nowhere. The fireflies are freed.

Pseudogames 28 and 29: SUP.

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December 3 2014 9002

John encounters Roxy, whose denizen Nix told her to go to LOWAS or be left behind in a dead end. They discuss being nowhere.

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December 5 2014 9011

John talks about how he fought Caliborn. Roxy takes Bro’s sword.

Silent film 36: JOHN FLIES.

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December 8 2014 9026

John first zaps to his own entry item creation, then to Hearts Boxcars eating Eggs, where Clover spots him, and then to himself about to derail Dave’s argument with Jade. As seen before, he zaps himself away before he is noticed.

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December 10 2014 9051

John decides to go to Terezi for advice. He concentrates on when Terezi did the mindy thing and zaps back to that very moment.

The password is HOME.

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December 12 2014 9063

Meenah and Vriska tour a carnival in their dream bubble. Vriska decides to get a tattoo.

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December 15 2014 9071

John sends his past self away and then asks Terezi what he should do with the power to change canon. Terezi writes a list of instructions in her own blood on the scarf she used as a blindfold, gives John the scarf, and dies.

By following the instructions, John will fix Terezi’s mistakes and change the outcome of the new session. But this time, John’s retroactively preemptive continuity adjustment will not be a true retcon, because the text of Homestuck will still contain the version of events where he was absent.

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December 17 2014 9088

Jane enters the sanctuary bubble where Calliope has been drawing Jade’s stories. They give her a warm greeting.

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December 19 2014 9106

The instructions on the scarf are preceded by key thoughts that send John to moments in Terezi’s past just like the mindy thing did. The first thought sends him back to his reunion with the meteor crew when they were dumped at the Slab of the Jaded Fool’s Ennui.

The password is R3UN1ON.

After babbling and hugging his friends, John flies off to the battleship and takes the ring he left on his couch.

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December 22 2014 9126

Meenah and a tattooed Vriska watch Lord English smash two neighbouring dream bubbles.

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December 24 2014 9131

The second key thought sends John to Terezi playing Courtblock Drama in her hive. The scarf instructs him to steal a scalemate while her back is turned.

The password is FR4M3D.

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December 26 2014 9147

The third key thought sends John to Terezi’s hive again after it has been built up in Sgrub. The scarf instructs him to write “you don’t need him” on her wall.

The password is MOM3NT.

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December 29 2014 9164

Having joined the trollsona club, Jane tells Jade and Calliope what she remembers of the alpha session. Calliope illustrates Jane’s story.

The session proceeded as previously seen, including Jade and Jane’s corruption, until Jade went to the meteor, at which point Jane and the Condesce lost track of her. The meteor crew stayed together and attacked Derse’s prison. Roxy took a culling fork through the chest for Rose.

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December 31 2014 9174

On LOWAS, Roxy and the salamanders hold a funeral for Rose with Bro’s sword for a headstone. Jaspersprite shows up.

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January 2 2015 9184

The fourth key thought sends John to Terezi investigating Tavros’s murder. The scarf instructs him to return the scalemate while her back is turned.

The password is MURD3R.

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January 5 2015 9202

The fifth key thought sends John to where Gamzee left Nepeta’s corpse to frame Vriska. John leaves a note for Terezi.

The password is JUST1C3.

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January 7 2015 9219

The sixth key thought sends John to the Drop Inn while Gamzee is flashstepping around Terezi. The scarf instructs him to honk one of Gamzee’s horns. Terezi discovers Gamzee and, a moment later, busts down the door in her Redglare outfit carrying his tied-up ass.

The password is HONK.

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January 9 2015 9238

Meenah and Vriska roll down Horse Mountain and kiss.

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January 12 2015 9255

Jane continues her account of the prison break. Jane tried to do the lifey thing to resurrect Roxy—and that is the last thing she remembers. She thinks she was struck down by the surprise leader of the attack, who was not expected to be alive or present in the session.

The seventh key thought sends John to the rooftop trial. The scarf instructs him to knock Vriska unconscious before Terezi kills her.

The password is FL1P.

After clocking Vriska, John greets Terezi and discovers there is one last instruction he can’t fulfill. He doesn’t have a wallet to give her.

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January 14 2015 9279

Karkat, Kanaya, and Sollux arrive on the roof. John greets Karkat warmly, gives him the scarf, and zaps off. Sollux chalks it up to shenanigans.

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January 16 2015 9289

On LOWAS, the funeral is over and the salamanders have gone home. John returns to Roxy and gives her the Ring of Life. They hold hands and zap away with the entire planet and comic frame.

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January 19 2015 9305

SHES 8ACK.

Silent film 37: N8P TIME.

Curtains.

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April 13 2015 9309

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 5.

Cinematic 104: MY MASTERPIECE.

Vines 1 to 11: A SPOILER TO THE ENDING OF THINGS.

In claymation, Caliborn recreates a battle he saw that will happen after he defeats Yaldabaoth and unlocks the clockwork manjunk.

[S] ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 5

AH. SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN ME.

MY MASTERPIECE!

LET US BEGIN.

SO I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT I SAW.

AH YES. MOVIE MAGIC AT ITS BEST.

ALSO, LOOK CLOSELY.

ONE MORE BANNER PIECE OF SWAG IN MY POSSESSION.

HERE I AM LORDING IT OVER MY MINIONS.

WHEN SUDDENLY.

BUT THEN.

THEY ARE ALL FRISKY, AND READY TO FIGHT.

April 14 2015 9321

Vines 12 to 24: THE FRACAS IS LOUD AND LARGE.

The eight kids will appear and challenge Caliborn. Caliborn will suck John, Jade, Rose, and Dave into the house juju, send it into the void, and then devastate the other four in battle.

LIKE I SAID. I HAVE A SUPERIOR WEAPON.

AND RULES AND STUFF.

AND JUST LIKE THAT, THEY WERE GONE.

IT BECAME MYSTERIOUSLY INTANGIBLE.

SO IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.

I SHOULD ALSO RELEVANTLY MENTION.

NOW IS WHEN THE PUMMELING BEGINS.

I'M MOSTLY TOYING WITH THEM THOUGH.

SO.

I'M RUINING THEM, REALLY.

IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD FIGHT BETWEEN US.

MY OVERCONFIDENCE, WAS MY ACHILLES DOWNFALL THOUGH.

AND BY UPSET.

April 15 2015 9334

Vines 25 to 36: WOEFUL OWNAGE.

The Nobles will make a comeback with help from Arquiusprite. Dirk will suck Caliborn, Arquiusprite, and half of Gamzee into Lil Cal. Roxy will send Lil Cal into the void.

THE HOPE... MY GOD.

WELL, MY SECOND MAYBE.

IT SEEMS THAT HOPE POWER IS OVERWHELMING.

I GET DUNKED AS FUCK.

MEANWHILE, STRIDER REGROUPS FROM HIS TROUNCING.

SO I GET UP. AND...

SO BASICALLY.

THE SWEATY MUSCULAR GHOST APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE.

THIS GIVES DIRK JUST THE TIME HE NEEDS.

I THINK HE THOUGHT HE COULD DESTROY MY SOUL.

AT THIS POINT.

YES, NEVER TO BE FOUND.

IT WILL BE TIME, INDEED, FOR ME TO GET...

AND NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME.

April 22 2015 9348

Cinematic 105: HELLO READER I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.

[S] MSPA Reader: Mental breakdown.

April 23 2015 9349

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5.

Cinematic 106: VRISKAGRAM.

[S] ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5

April 26 2015 9350

In a Skaian cloud vision, the post-retcon kids sit on the enchanted metal frog discus.

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April 27 2015 9357

While waiting for three more kids to arrive, they review their situation.

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April 28 2015 9364

John and Roxy arrive.

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April 29 2015 9378

John greets everyone.

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April 30 2015 9386

Eight conversations can be read in any order:

Karkat, Dave, and John compare norms.

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May 3 2015 9393

Roxy and Rose compare moms.

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May 4 2015 9397

Tavrosprite argues that Jake can be a brave and good friend. Vriska badmouths them both.

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May 5 2015 9400

Terezi and Vriska appreciate their good fortune and rapport.

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May 6 2015 9402

Dave and Roxy grill each other’s asses. Jaspersprite exhumes the Rose buried on LOWAS and puts it in Roxy’s empty sprite, creating Rosesprite. Rose finds this development stupid and bemoans her “arc”.

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May 7 2015 9408

Vriska encourages Kanaya to keep faith in the revival of trolldom. Vriska and Karkat trade pathetic jokey unrequited blackrom stuff.

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May 10 2015 9410

Dave commits unbelieveable-ass Freudian boners. Everyone except Terezi agrees that Jane is a babe.

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May 11 2015 9413

John and Jake get to know each other.

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May 12 2015 9416

Vriska calls the group to order to discuss tactics. She reviews the threats posed by the Condesce, Dog Jack, Lord Jack, and Robo Jack. Rosesprite volunteers to set up fenestrated planes around the Medium.

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May 13 2015 9430

Roxy, Rose, and John volunteer to fight the Batterwitch on Derse. The still-sleeping Jade is to help the Monarch defeat the Slayer if she wakes. Dave and Terezi volunteer to fight the Archagent. Terezi suggests Dirk will help. Jake and Tavrosprite are tapped to take down Slick and The Felt. Arquiusprite declares that he will do something incomprehensibly heroic.

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May 15 2015 9437

Kanaya and Karkat will see Echidna to release the Genesis Frog and make it possible to win the session. John will hold on to Earth. Vriska will go to the Furthest Ring to lead the ghosts against Lord English.

Dave fears the Strider brotimes. Vriska fenestrates Dirk straight to the lilypad to get their meeting over with, then leaves.

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May 25 2015 9456

The Skaian cloud vision of the kids at the lilypad ends, giving way to Jane and Jade’s dream with Callie. Callie is about to wake them when they enter someone else’s dream bubble.

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May 26 2015 9474

A yellow path leads them to a memory of Echidna’s lair.

Jane wakes. Arquiusprite has disabled her mind-controlling tiaratop.

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May 27 2015 9483

Kanaya and Karkat have left for LOFAF. Dave and Dirk have left for LOTAK. Jake and Tavrosprite have left for LOMAX.

Jane and Roxy reunite. Arquiusprite leaves. Roxy resolves to go give the Ring of Life to Callie.

Jaspersprite cuddles up too close to Rosesprite. The singly-prototyped Rosesprite absorbs the doubly-prototyped Jaspersprite, becoming the flashy two-legged sprite fusion Jasprosesprite².

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May 28 2015 9493

The memory of Echidna’s lair belongs to the other dead Calliope, the one who predominated.

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May 31 2015 9500

The Muse of Space invites Calliope to talk privily and dispels Calliope’s trollsona.

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June 1 2015 9512

The Muse of Space relates how she grew up without human contact, defeated her brother, and entered a dead session. She lost the race to pocket the pool ball planets of her session. She let Echidna kill her and spent unknowable ages waiting.

The Muse of Space is at last going to fulfill her bargain with Echidna. She tells Calliope to live as she could not.

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June 2 2015 9524

Roxy finds Calliope and gives her the Ring of Life.

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June 3 2015 9535

Ambient 11: AUDIENCE WITH ECHIDNA.

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June 4 2015 9536

Echidna judges Karkat and Kanaya worthy of receiving the Genesis Frog. Kanaya promises to protect Karkat for a leadership role in the new universe. But Karkat insists on fighting first. Kanaya zonks him with a headways fist bonk and leaves him in Echidna’s lair.

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June 14 2015 9547

Roxy returns to the lilypad with Calliope. Jasprosesprite² briefs Jane on her healing job.

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June 15 2015 9552

Jasprosesprite² flies around the Medium, distributing fenestrated planes and greeting everyone who left the lilypad before seeing her get created. She contemplates Jake’s empty sprite and embarrasses Rose by existing.

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June 16 2015 9572

Ten conversations can be read in only one order:

Dave and Dirk struggle to break the ice.

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June 17 2015 9581

Roxy introduces Callie properly to John, Rose, and Terezi. They discuss Callie’s lack of role in the coming fight.

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June 18 2015 9586

Meenah gets bored of (Vriska) and the repetitive afterlife. Vriska interrupts their feelings jam.

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June 21 2015 9593

Roxy describes the problem of making a Matriorb appear. She asks Callie to witness her attempt.

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June 22 2015 9596

Rose worries about being OG. John starts to notice Terezi’s caliginous gestures toward him.

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June 23 2015 9600

Roxy ideates a matriorb and steals it from nonexistence.

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June 24 2015 9613

Roxy and Callie take off with the matriorb.

Jasprosesprite² takes Jane to LOCAH to meet Nannasprite.

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June 25 2015 9625

Roxy drops Callie off at Jade’s house on LOFAF to stay with the Vagabond and the sleeping Jade. Roxy and Callie have a romantically ambiguous parting.

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June 28 2015 9633

Dave and Dirk have a difficult and therapeutic feelings jam comparing each other to Dave’s abusive Bro and Dirk’s distant Bro. They hug.

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June 29 2015 9666

Roxy finds Kanaya and presents her with the Matriorb. Kanaya contemplates the responsibility for breeding the next race of trolls. Roxy persuades her to fight anyway.

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June 30 2015 9684

The living Vriska verbally brutalizes the ghost Vriska and takes the chest containing the house juju.

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July 1 2015 9691

Meenah cuts ghost Vriska loose and follows live Vriska.

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July 2 2015 9704

Two scenes can be read in any order:

Jane meets the pre-retcon and post-retcon Nannasprites.

Jake decides that he knows everything there is to know about himself and his difficulty with friends.

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July 5 2015 9711

Jasprosesprite² brings Nepeta’s head to LOMAX and puts it into Jake’s empty sprite, making Nepetasprite.

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July 6 2015 9723

Ambient 12: CERULEAN RINGER.

Vriska calls and gets Tavrosprite to pick up the Condesce’s pet first guardian, GCat. The singly-prototyped Tavrosprite absorbs the god cat and becomes the self-allergic GCatavrosprite. Vriska then puts him to sleep.

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July 7 2015 9740

Meenah briefs Vriska on the ghost army plan she and the other Vriska had abandoned. They don’t know how to raise another army without Aranea’s mind control.

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July 8 2015 9755

Tavros’s ghost has saved them the trouble. He raised an army single-handedly, not by mind control, but by escapades of the heart.

Air guitar.

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July 9 2015 9764

Meenah addresses the troops. They are to go out in glory, throwing themselves recklessly at Lord English so that Vriska may use her weapon on him.

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July 19 2015 9771

Jasprosesprite² dates Nepetasprite, with Jake as a prop. The Davesprite who was on LOWAS in its round trip to nowhere shows up to their tea party on LOMAX. The singly-prototyped Nepetasprite absorbs the doubly-prototyped Davesprite, becoming the flashy two-legged sprite fusion Davepetasprite².

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July 20 2015 9781

Callie finds the Vagabond watching over Jade. In Jade’s dream, the ghost Calliope leads her on through cracked space. Jade is too eager to wake up to give the Muse’s teaching her full attention.

Davepetasprite² loves being a god damn debacle of a thing. Their merger dashes Jasprosesprite²’s hopes of romancing Nepeta. They discuss how their new lives invite new decisions. Davepetasprite² wants to go fight Lord English, but furst there are a couple of bros to meet up with.

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July 21 2015 9805

Arquiusprite builds all eight houses to max height and places grist rigs on them. These rigs pump the Denizens’ grist hoards into Skaia to prime it for the Ultimate Alchemy.

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July 22 2015 9817

Dave and Dirk finish their feelings jam. They imagine the private life of post-scratch Dave, the filmmaker and rebel.

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July 23 2015 9823

Davepetasprite² introduces themself to Arquiusprite. And there it is. The greatest reunion—neigh, moment—in Homestuck history.

Cinematic 107: HOMESTUCK’S AUDACIOUS PROMISE HAS BEEN UTTERLY FULFILLED FOREVER.

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July 26 2015 9829

Roxy and Kanaya return to the pad, rounding out the team that will fight the Condesce on Derse. John inspires them to new heights of team work and friendship. Terezi flies off to join the Striders. She and John have a romantically ambiguous parting.

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July 27 2015 9839

On her way to LOTAK, Terezi trolls Vriska to no response. Terezi opens up about the self-doubt that has always eaten at her. She wishes to remember her other lives in paths erased or not taken.

Cinematic 108: DO YOU REMEM8ER ME?

The afterlife may be breaking apart, but ghosts are still finding their memories and their friends out there. The Terezi who died and the Vriska she killed at long last find each other and rejoice in facing the end together.

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[S] Terezi: Remem8er.

March 28 2016 9860

Spades Slick arrives on his rocket ass, fixing to throw down with Lord English or any similar thing in this session. He drops The Felt on LOMAX, spots Lord Jack, and chases off after him. Jake faces The Felt alone.

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March 29 2016 9876

John, Rose, Kanaya, Jane, and Roxy arrive on Derse and square off against her Imperious Condescension. Roxy carries Bro Strider’s sword as a memoir of all humans and trolls whose future was stolen and a promise to take that future back from the Batterwitch.

Karkat, knocked out in Echidna’s lair, dreams. He finds himself in Meenah’s bubble and joins her army.

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March 30 2016 9897

The Calliope who predominated approaches the Green Sun, source of power to First Guardians and all those who inherit their prototype. Jade has had to stay asleep for so long because this power is a liability in the fight. In her last words to anyone, the Muse of Space tells Jade to try to have fun.

Jade meets Davepetasprite², who has flown to the Sun to figure out where the ghost fight is. They talk about the difficult progress toward understanding their aspects. Davepeta kisses Jade and wakes her up.

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March 31 2016 9914

Jade wakes in the company of Callie and the Vagabond. A note from Dave tells her to deal with the Sovereign Slayer and the Prospitian Monarch. She swings by LOTAK to see Terezi and the Striders, then goes to find the chess dogs.

Spades Slick, Lord Jack, and the LOTAK team square off.

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April 1 2016 9945

Vriska waits by the weapon a short distance from the army. The Cairo Overcoat enters their bubble, and from it emerges Lord English, ready to throw down.

Caliborn, done with Homosuck and never again to act as narrator, goes to duel Yaldabaoth. Defeating his denizen will put Caliborn irrevocably and eternally on the path of the conqueror.

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April 2 2016 9967

The Monarch’s pursuit of the Slayer ends at the wreckage of Prospit. He tires of the chase and turns to clash with she who is his equal in power conferred by the Rings of Orbs Fourfold.

Caliborn is ready to fight the deadliest denizen.

The ghost army is ready to fight the constant conqueror.

Jake is ready to fight fourteen leprechauns, a classy Prospitian lady, and a centaur butler.

Terezi and the Striders are ready for the Jack-off.

John, Kanaya, and the Lalondes are ready to fight Betty Crocker, empress of the trolls.

No curtains.

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April 6 2016 9987

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 6.

Cinematic 109: COLLIDE.

Jane and the Nannas are ready to heal. Jasprose’s windows will move the healers between the fights in the session. Jane can resurrect each fighter once.

Davepeta, Aradia, and Sollux find the ghost army. Karkat moves first, charging fearlessly into Lord English’s double death beam. Karkat wakes up on LOFAF.

Strife begins on Derse. Rose, John, and Roxy play fraymotifs to clobber Condy with a Zazzerpan statue, whip her with wind, and pummel her with perfectly generic objects. Condy fights back with all the psionic powers that will avail her.

Strife begins on LOMAX. Itchy and Stitch get the first hits in. Jake shoots Sawbuck and time-travels to several other moments in the fight. Arquiusprite joins, taunting Cans with quadrupedal automata and the fridge in which Gamzee is still locked. Cans clocks Jake, Arquius, and several Felt to LOFAF, where Clover humiliates Karkat, and again back to LOMAX. Crowbar shoots and kills Jake.

The healing squad goes first to Derse, where Rose and Kanaya have died. Jane resurrects them while Jasprose distracts Condy. The fight on Derse reaches its most chaotic and madcap when Cans clocks Arquius and the fridge into it. Next, the healers go to LOMAX and resurrect Jake. Everyone loves Nanna’s cookies. Jane stays to fight aside Jake. Casey von Salamancer’s skeleton army overruns the combatants.

Strife begins on LOTAK, first between the Jacks. The three sides fight indiscriminately. Dave and Terezi play a fraymotif to anticipate and avert bad outcomes. Dirk tries to rip Lord Jack’s soul, but the Archagent is already too ripped with clockwork majyyks. Cans clocks Arquius and the fridge into their fight, then clocks Arquius back to LOFAF, leaving the fridge on LOTAK.

Arquius and Cans end up on Derse in time to see Dad Crocker break out of jail. Dad pies Cans.

Strife begins in the ruin of Prospit between the chess dogs and in the bubble between Vriska and the Author.

Caliborn defeats Yaldabaoth and finds his reward: a judgment clock and a chest containing the weapon he will use in his masterpiece.

The Muse of Space reaches the Green Sun.

Serenity finds John on Derse, Jade on Prospit, Dave on LOTAK, and Karkat on LOFAF, filling them with resolve. Finally, Serenity is reunited with the Vagabond.

Strife begins in the bubble between the ghost army and the constant conqueror. Lord English annihilates many ghosts. Meenah, Tavros, Aradia, and Davepeta put up a fight.

John, Roxy, Rose, and Kanaya regroup against Condy, who has choked Jane. Dave, Dirk, and Terezi renew the fight against the Jacks. They all take fearsome beatings, but they have come so far that they will not give up now.

Gamzee has been rattled around in the Crocker family fridge to the point of tears.

Jake, Karkat, and Dad Crocker vanquish The Felt.

To stop the chess dogs fighting, Jade teleports them from place to place and puts herself between them. They still have Bec’s loyalty and love of her. This may keep them from stabbing her, but not from using non-lethal methods. The Monarch punches Jade out and resumes her quest to neutralize the Slayer.

The Archagent gets Dirk in a hold with his crowbar. Spades Slick gets the Archagent in a hold with his cuestaff. Their heads are all lined up, so Dave takes the shot. He decapitates them and breaks the unbreakable katana in one blow. Then, for the first time since his old session, Dave uses time travel. He recovers Dirk’s head and body and evacuates Terezi from LOTAK. Their enemies may be dead, but the Archagent’s cursed clockwork head is a bomb. It implodes into a black hole, taking the fridge and most of LOTAK with it.

The Monarch cuts off the Slayer’s arm. He loses his ring and is Bec Noir no more. He gets the non-lethal methods too. He lands unconscious next to Jade.

The Batterwitch makes the fatal mistake of turning her back on Roxy, who impales her on Bro’s sword. Ding dong.

Curtains.

[S] Collide.

END OF ACT 6

April 7 2016 9989

Nanna heals Jane and meets Dad Crocker. The Derse and LOTAK teams return to the lilypad. Jane resurrects Dirk.

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April 8 2016 9995

Jade wakes. Callie has made a new friend, and Jack Noir perhaps a new sweetheart, in Ms. Paint.

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April 9 2016 10001

The Author, done hassling Vriska, gives Lord English the big thumbs down.

The Monarch finds the Vagabond and takes off her Ring of Orbs Fourfold. She wants both rings to be unmade in the Forge.

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April 10 2016 10012

Jake, Karkat, Jade, and Callie come to the lilypad. They have joyful reunions all round.

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April 11 2016 10018

Dad Crocker meets John, whose post-scratch self was Dad’s father.

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April 12 2016 10023

The Monarch and Vagabond climb to the lip of the Forge.

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April 13 2016 10027

ACT 7.

Cinematic 110: A UNIVERSE WAS BIRTHING IN FRONT OF ME.

The Rings of Orbs Fourfold light the Forge. It propels the genesis tadpole into Skaia. The tadpole begins to metamorphose and dives into the hole in the Battlefield by which John excavated The Tumor. There, it completes its metamorphosis. It eats the Battlefield and becomes the splendid Genesis Frog, embodiment of a new universe.

The Muse of Space makes a black hole next to the Green Sun. It eats the Sun and the space beyond. Aradia gets her wish to see this whole place break apart.

Vriska is ready to use her weapon. She opens the chest and produces an image of a house which contains the aspects of Breath, Light, Time, and Space. This artefact does something ambiguous to Lord English.

In Yaldabaoth’s lair, Caliborn smashes the judgment clock and receives the clockwork majyyks.

A door to the ultimate reward appears before those assembled on the lilypad. They will take Earth through to their new universe and terraform it. The ocean which covered Earth will recede and terrestrial life will return. Carapacians will live on Earth with the victors, fulfilling the promise of Can Town.

John reaches for the doorknob.

The end.

Curtains.

[S] ACT 7

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October 24 2016 10029

Pseudogame 30: THANKS FOR PLAYING.

Cinematic 111: CREDITS.

In snapshots from Earth C, the victors return to the lab meteor which crashed into Earth. They go to the ectobiology lab and make human, troll, and carapacian babies. They leave these babies in the care of mature carapacians, then time travel forward to live in a later stage of the resulting civilization.

They are hailed as the “creators” and proclaimed kings and queens. John and Jane are crowned in the Human Kingdom, accompanied by Dad and Nannasprite. Karkat, Terezi, Dave, and Jade are crowned in the Troll Kingdom. Rose, Roxy, Kanaya, and Callie are crowned in the Carapacian Kingdom. And Jake and Dirk are crowned in the Consort Kingdom, accompanied by GCatavrosprite.

John celebrates his seventeenth birthday. Rose and Kanaya marry. Dave, Karkat, and Jade excavate shitty Liberties. Dirk makes a skull-monster–shaped sparring partner.

By the time John turns eighteen, Terezi has left Universe C to look for Vriska in the disintegrating Furthest Ring. Her search seems fruitless.

Jane remakes CrockerCorp. Jake remakes SkaiaNet, though its only seeming function is to get his ass on television. Kanaya oversees the Mother Grub and her wiggler broods.

On his nineteenth and twentieth birthdays, John is increasingly solitary. Finally Caliborn sends him a snap spoiling for a fight. This may be what provokes the battle depicted in Caliborn’s masterpiece.

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