Main Page

the acts and pages of

HOMESTUCK

a guide for fans of
the web adventure

documented by

RAFE SALTMAN

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art and excerpts
from homestuck

  © 2009-2016  

ANDREW HUSSIE


Act 1

Act 2

Act 3

Int

Act 4

5–1

5–2

EOA5

6–1

6–2

6–3

6–4

6–5

6-6-1

6-6-2

6-6-3

6-6-4

6-6-5

6-6-6

Act 7


Part 1 log


Part 2 log


Part 3 log


Part 4 log

Act 6 Act 6 Act 2 thumbnail

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 2

LOSHIT

AND ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 2

theres problems

(SPOILERS AHEAD)
Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2 thumbnail
first page 8375, August 28 2013 pages 378
last page 8752, October 16 2013 words in text
no recap words in media
adventure map checkpoints

Page 8375  Page 8384 Page 8394 Page 8407 Page 8422 Page 8429

Page 8431  Page 8449 Page 8473 Page 8493 Page 8511 Page 8528
Page 8551 Page 8572 Page 8593 Page 8613 Page 8636
Page 8663 Page 8681 Page 8707 Page 8728 Page 8751

SYNOPSIS
is it still satire?

Caliborn’s comic continues. When we last saw it, HOMOSUCK was a savage takedown of Homestuck. Nothing happened, the foolish story hero died, and the author laughed at you for reading it. But now, the satire has softened and become simple wish-fulfilment. The new story arc invites us to watch and admire the Alpha Male as he gains a following of servile females and accomplishes his quest with ease.

John has just discovered the theft of his Ring of Life when he canon-hops into HOMOSUCK. He becomes a rogue element which Caliborn can’t remove.

John is disgusted at the sight of Bogus Dave and his bogus bitches. He follows them into the Land of Someone’s Handicrafts I Took, whose creatures are cutouts from the Ed Emberley book that Caliborn found in his studio.

John stops Bogus Dave and Bogus Rose from kissing, so Caliborn buries him in a pile of Bogus Daves. John swears to kill Caliborn.

serket twist

The thief is Vriska’s dancestor Aranea. After hearing John say that he had the ring that could bring a ghost to life, Aranea hatched a plan. Even though she is a ghost in the Furthest Ring, her cobalt mindjack power reaches into the session. She directs Gamzee to take the ring, fall asleep with it, and hand it over in his dream.

When Aranea puts on the ring, she comes alive. She wakes Gamzee and follows him to the waking world. She is now on the Prospitian battleship parked on LOMAX. Though she has no immediate use for the juggalo, she keeps him subdued because she can’t handle his filthy mouth.

Aranea’s return to life dismays her pirate ghost buddies. Meenah phones Aranea, demanding to know why she has deserted them and given up on the plan to confront the big bad with the house-shaped hole.

Aranea explains that she is thinking big. She wants to be the goddess of a multiverse in which the Lord of Time never hatched. Meenah objects that any new timeline that undoes the events of the alpha timeline is doomed, but Aranea is unshakeable in her chutzpah. A skilled Sylph of Light such as herself should be able to undoom a timeline and set Paradox Space on a new course.

Meenah doesn’t like where this is leading, so she warns Karkat.

Aranea’s departure makes Meenah and Vriska less confident in their house juju plan. They can’t maintain a mindjacked ghost army without her. What’s more, when Vriska sees in Aranea’s power play the same hubris and mistakes that got Vriska killed, she begins to doubt her own judgement and motives. After some introspection, they decide to shelve the mission.

what the dick is a sylph

To avert Lord English’s creation, Aranea must stop this Sburb session from spawning the universe in which he will be born. The Condesce and the players must be kept from performing the Ultimate Alchemy.

For freedom of movement, Aranea mindjacks some Damara Megido ghosts and harnesses their burgundy telekinesis. Just as her psychic power reaches all the way out to the Furthest Ring, theirs reaches all the way back into the Medium. They lift up the battleship and fly it away.

Jane is nearby, building up the house on LOMAX. She sees the ship leave, follows it, and finds it ditched in the streets of Derse. She summons Jade.

Aranea’s ace in the hole is Jake, the Page of Hope. She recognized his untapped potential when they met in a dream bubble. Her theory is that Jake cannot manifest his power due to an accumulation of brain damage and emotional trauma. As a mind reader, she can see these injuries, and as a sylph, she can heal them all at once. She enters his jail cell and lays hands on him.

tally ho

Jake’s full power bursts out of him in an aura of brilliant light, smashing buildings and emanating angels as it expands. At the centre of the hope field he floats, unseeing, unhearing, bellowing cornball non sequiturs at inhuman volume. Jane cannot get through to him and Jade cannot teleport him away.

Roxy and Dad Crocker are in other prisons a safe distance from the hope field. In the confusion, Roxy goes invisible and skips town. Flying closer, she witnesses a standoff between Condy’s servants and the smug Aranea, who claims to be invincible while she wears the Ring of Life. Dad remains in his cell.

Jade solves the problem of Jake destroying Dersite property by teleporting Derse instead. She switches the locations of Derse and her own planet.

Jake, Jade, Jane, Aranea, and Roxy are now above the Forge next to Jade’s tall house on LOFAF. The hope field is visible to Karkat and Kanaya in the forest below. Karkat alerts Dave, who is still on LOHAC. Dave relays what he knows to Rose, who is still on LOLAR.

Jade tries to break the hope field with Green Sun energy, but is overpowered. Her green fire is forced downward and makes a crater where it meets the ground. The crater fills with lava from the erupting Forge.

Jade cannot believe what is happening. Her First Guardian power is supposed to be unrivaled. But soon her power is extinguished. The hope field sends her flying. She lands on the other side of the lake of lava, unconscious and no longer grimbark.

ding dong

Aranea has neutralized Jade for the moment, but cannot risk her waking up and being possessed again by Condy’s bronze animal communion. With some ghostly help, Aranea pushes Jade’s house over, snapping it off at the blue beauties floor. The house comes down across the lake of lava, shearing into many pieces as it falls, and flattens the Witch of Space where she lies.

Jade’s death is judged just.

Jane flies to Jade’s body, intending to resurrect her, but gets tackled by Gamzee on the way.

Aranea stays with the Daughters of Eclectica and addresses the invisible Roxy, who wants to take back the Ring of Life to give to Callie. Finding Calliope had once been Aranea’s plan too. But now that her plan has changed, she can’t have the Rogue of Void contesting the ring. She puts Roxy to sleep.

Next, Jake’s bomb-as-shit hope power does something Aranea did not expect. Jake believes in Brain Ghost Dirk so hard that Brain Ghost Dirk becomes flesh and blood. He stands before Aranea, sword out and swearing vengeance.

But, slice and stab as he may, the Prince of Heart can’t get his blows to stick. Every wound on Aranea’s body disappears in seconds. To defeat her, he must separate the ring from her body. She holds out her arm to goad him into chopping it off, but he senses a trap and lays down his sword.

Taking a different tack, Brain Ghost Dirk exhibits a power we have not seen from the original Dirk. He shoots a pink arcing energy from his hands which attaches to Aranea and starts to rip her soul from her body.

many arrivals

Dave arrives to find Jade dead with her feet sticking out from under the house. Gamzee is riding Jane like a mechanical bull. Jane cannot do the lifey thing while the scurrilous fuckshitting cad has his paws on her. But Terezi has also made her way here since vowing to hunt down the clown. She kicks Gamzee off Jane’s back and onto the chunk of house floating in lava.

Terezi’s fury deepens when she realizes Aranea is here too. Back when he was her kismesis, Gamzee pulled Terezi into a spiral of self-loathing and then abandoned her. In her poisoned state, she allowed Aranea to restore her eyesight. She now believes that Aranea and Gamzee worked together to manipulate her. She stabs Gamzee repeatedly, getting more and more enraged at his placid refusal to fight, speak, or even die. The beatdown works its way back over the lake of lava, hopping from house piece to house piece.

Once the Maid of Life tears her eyes away from the spectacle and remembers that she wanted to resurrect Jade, she learns that another situation developed while her back was turned. The chess dogs have arrived. They instantly forgot the reason for their three-year chase when they saw their Bec-master Jade. The Sovereign Slayer pulled her body from the house while the Prospitian Monarch warded Dave off with her sword drawn.

Dave’s cajoling isn’t working, so Jane shoots a resurrection beam from afar. It misses, and the dogs misinterpret the beam as hostile. Jane is forced to deploy a distraction. She summons GCat, hoping to get the dogs to drop Jade and chase the cat instead. It mostly works. The only problem is that they don’t drop Jade.

Rose arrives to see Dave flying off after the dogs. The chase enters the forest, buzzing over Karkat and Kanaya’s heads as they are running in the opposite direction. In a Skaian cloud vision, we see the dogs flying to Jade’s quest bed.

utter chaos

Jake’s hope field is flagging, keeping his tulpa from finishing the job on Aranea’s soul. Brain Ghost Dirk’s fakeness vial starts working its way back into its gel. Rose airlifts Roxy to a safe distance.

When the hope field ebbs to a low point, Jane senses an opportunity. She lobs her culling fork and impales him square in the chest. The field pops, Brain Ghost Dirk vanishes, and Jake falls dead on the house piece next to Terezi.

The shock of her soul snapping back into her body interrupts Aranea’s mind control of Gamzee. He becomes aware of his situation and fights back for the first time.

Jane continues her attack, lunging at Aranea now. Aranea puts Jane to sleep, thinking that will be the end of it. But Jane’s tiaratop corruption keeps her moving robotically while she snores. The unconscious heiress tackles Aranea, choking, punching, and riding her like a mechanical bullrider. Aranea eyes the katana left here by Brain Ghost Dirk.

Special Stardust drifts in and starts to gum up the scene.

Jake’s death is judged neither just nor heroic. He comes back to life. He and Rose watch, unsure whether to intervene, as Gamzee savages Terezi with punches, knees to the face, headslams, and backbreaking suplexes. Finally, when Gamzee has Terezi dangling over the lava, Rose shoots a spell which misses and sends Jake flying instead.

Kanaya and Karkat pick their way through the green fire to the shore of the lava lake. They draw their weapons. But their arrival is overshadowed by that of the troll everyone fears, Her Imperious Condescension.

Aranea finally understands that she has fucked up big time.

jade and calliope

The dream where Jade meets Calliope will be in my Act 6-6-4 synopsis. Your unimpatience is appreciated.

ACT 6-6-2 BY DATE POSTED
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August 28 2013 8375

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 2.

Homosuck continues, now starring Bogus Dave and his “bitches.”

ACT 6 ACT 6 ACT 2

BE A DIFFERENT MALE.

HE HAS EXCEPTIONAL TASTE IN PUPPETS.

ALPHA MALE: CALL FOR BACKUP.

SEND IN THE BITCHES.

ACTUALLY. LET'S INVITE A COUPLE MORE TO THE PARTY.

August 29 2013 8381

The real John intrudes on Homosuck. Caliborn tries to cover up John’s presence.

ALPHA MALE: BEGIN GAME.

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DISREGARD THE UNIMPORTANT MALE GHOST BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

LET'S CONTINUE.

ALPHA MALE: GO OUTSIDE.

August 30 2013 8392

Bogus Dave and his entourage enter the Land of Someone’s Handicrafts I Took.

ALPHA MALE: BE ON ROOF.

SUDDENLY. THERE IS A DRAMATIC CHANGE.

I DON'T RECALL WHAT HIS LAND WAS THOUGH.

WOW, YES. SO GOOD.

ALPHA MALE: WHISTLE FOR STALLIONS.

STALLIONS: DESCEND.

MOUNT STEEDS.

STEEDS: RIDE.

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August 31 2013 8402

They ride Emberley horses through the Emberley land. John crashes Shit Biscuit into Bogus Roxy and she falls apart.

Bogus Dave forges a sword from some of Dirk’s smut.

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THE ALPHA MALE IS ACCOSTED BY A PACK OF WILD FOES.

ALPHA MALE: RECEIVE BOON FROM YOUR CREATOR.

OPEN CHEST.

WITH YOUR TRUSTY SMUT. FORGE A SWORD.

September 1 2013 8417

Bogus Dave defeats some Emberley minions. Caliborn tries to reward him with a kiss from Bogus Rose. John, angered, breaks Bogus Dave and calls Caliborn a creep.

STRIKE THE WITCH.

YOUR NOBLE MOUNT ABSORBS MOST OF THE DAMAGE THOUGH.

THE WITCH ALSO DIES FROM HER INJURIES.

AS A RESULT OF ALL THAT. THE ROBOT GOES CRAZY.

ALPHA MALE: RECEIVE SPOILS.

STORY RECTANGLE: ZOOM IN ON RAUNCHY SEDUCTION.

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September 2 2013 8426

Caliborn buries John in a pile of Bogus Daves. John swears to kill Caliborn.

IT SEEMS THE ALPHA MALE HAS BEEN SLAIN.

TIME TRAVEL KEEPS HAPPENING!

THE DUDE PILE. DOESN'T STOP. FROM GETTING TALLER.

THAT'S THE END OF HOMOSUCK. ACT. UH.

THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO MY STORY.

September 2 2013 8431

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 2.

Jane builds Jake’s house up.

Gamzee, having stolen the Ring of Life, goes to sleep in the fridge on the battleship.

ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 2

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September 3 2013 8440

Gamzee brings the ring to the Furthest Ring and gives it to Aranea. She puts it on and joins him in the waking world.

Ambient 9: FUCHSIA RINGER.

Meenah rings Aranea and asks her to come back to the Furthest Ring. Aranea declines, revealing her plan to single-handedly avert the creation of the cherubs’ universe.

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September 4 2013 8459

Harnessing the telekinetic power of her ghosty Damaras, Aranea pilots the battleship away from LOMAX.

Meenah rings Karkat.

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September 5 2013 8469

Jane follows the battleship to Derse, where it has been parked illegally, and rings Jade.

Aranea wakes Jake.

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September 6 2013 8476

Aranea heals Jake.

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September 7 2013 8487

Jade joins Jane on Derse. Their contemplation of the shitty parking job is interrupted by a giant hopesplosion.

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September 8 2013 8494

Roxy scarpers, avoiding the angels flying out of the hopesplosion.

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September 9 2013 8500

Jake emerges, radiating

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and corny old man nonsense.

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September 10 2013 8512

Jade fails to zap Jake to the Furthest Ring.

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September 11 2013 8517

Jade switches the planets, bringing everyone from Derse to LOFAF. Karkat sees the

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field overhead and rings Dave.

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September 12 2013 8525

The

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field keeps growing. Jade tests her strength against Jake’s.

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September 13 2013 8535

The power of

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overwhelms the power of the Green Sun, defeating Jade and knocking her unconscious.

A lake of lava forms next to the Forge.

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September 14 2013 8542

Aranea drops Jade’s house on her, killing her. Jade’s death is judged just.

Cinematic 99: LUCKY BREAK.

Dave leaves for LOFAF and rings Rose.

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September 15 2013 8557

Jane flies to Jade.

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September 16 2013 8566

Aranea introduces herself to Roxy and puts her to sleep.

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September 17 2013 8570

Jade, not knowing whether she is dead or dreaming, visits Calliope in her sanctuary in the Furthest Ring.

Gamzee tackles and gropes Jane. Dave arrives and discovers Jade under the house.

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September 18 2013 8590

Brain Ghost Dirk becomes real. Terezi arrives with a surprise attack on Gamzee.

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September 19 2013 8596

Terezi and Dirk wound their immortal adversaries.

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September 20 2013 8606

Terezi tries in vain to kill Gamzee, driving him back over the lake of lava.

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September 21 2013 8613

Jane and Dave discover Bec Noir and the Prospitian Monarch taking Jade’s body.

Jade and Calliope discuss trollsonæ.

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September 22 2013 8618

Jane summons GCat to distract the doggy carapacians.

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September 23 2013 8627

Noir and the Monarch chase after GCat without putting down the body. Dave flies off after them.

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September 24 2013 8634

Rose arrives.

Karkat and Kanaya run toward the action.

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September 28 2013 8640

Dirk starts ripping the soul out of Aranea’s body.

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October 1 2013 8647

Vriska and Meenah lament Aranea’s hubris.

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October 2 2013 8650

The

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field and Brain Ghost Dirk’s realness dwindle.

Rose airlifts Roxy.

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October 3 2013 8656

Gamzee’s apathy tortures Terezi.

Jane skewers Jake.

hope
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October 6 2013 8669

Jake lands already.

Aranea’s soul snaps back into her body. Jane charges at her and is not deterred by psychically induced sleep.

Gamzee breaks free of Aranea’s mind control and turns the tables on Terezi.

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October 11 2013 8695

The sleepwalking Jane grapples Aranea.

The Special Stardust drifts back in.

Jake returns from a death judged neither heroic nor just. He and Rose watch as Gamzee gets his revenge on Terezi. Gamzee slams Terezi into the house piece, breaking it in two.

Karkat and Kanaya arrive.

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October 16 2013 8723

Jane’s royal sceptre culling fork sinks into the lava, offering cloud visions in its melting Skaian orb.

Gamzee catches Terezi at the edge of the lava and pulls her up. Rose shoots a spell at them.

The Condesce flies in on the Battleship Condescension.

Curtains.

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