Main Page

the acts and pages of

HOMESTUCK

a guide for fans of
the web adventure

documented by

RAFE SALTMAN

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art and excerpts
from homestuck

  © 2009-2016  

ANDREW HUSSIE


Act 1

Act 2

Act 3

Int

Act 4

5–1

5–2

EOA5

6–1

6–2

6–3

6–4

6–5

6–6

Act 7


Part 1 log


Part 2 log


Part 3 log

Act 3 thumbnail

ACT 3

Insane Corkscrew Haymakers

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

first page 2659, October 12 2009 pages 395
last page 3053, January 14 2010 words in text 17 641
recap 3574, April 15 2010 words in media 2545
adventure map checkpoints

Page 2659  Page 2697 Page 2759 Page 2792 Page 2842 Page 2875
Page 2905 Page 2947 Page 2981 Page 3000 Page 3029

SYNOPSIS
jade

Our fourth kid is the sleepy Jade Harley. She lives alone on a tropical island next to her Grandpa’s old object of study, a lagoon filled with mystic frog ruins. Jade’s only companion is Becquerel, an immortal dog with powers of teleportation, who keeps her out of the ruins.

Jade’s dead Grandpa left her a house full of big game trophies and fantastic technology. She has a dreambot, a robot avatar that mimics her actions and lets her pester chums while she is dreaming.

prospit

When Jade sleeps, her dreaming self wakes and flies around on Prospit, a golden planet in the Medium, home to the kingdom of white-shelled creatures that Nannasprite described as the forces of light. Prospit has a golden moon attached to the planet by a giant golden chain.

Dream Jade and Dream John live on Prospit’s moon, which periodically swings into the bright skies of Skaia because of how closely Prospit orbits Skaia. When this happens, Dream Jade watches the clouds and sees visions in them, learning things that are mysterious to the other kids.

Dream John has never woken. His dreams, troubled and vague, have caused him to unconsciously deface his walls in both worlds while sleepwalking.

technology

Fleeing from the forest fire, Rose enters the neighbouring laboratory, where she finds meteor-tracking and ectobiology gizmos and a power source. Discovering that the lab itself is marked for a violent impact, she escapes to her house with Jaspers’ corpse and a mutant kitten.

Rose and Nannasprite help John defeat the Crude Ogres. After finding more birthday presents in Dad’s distressingly normal bedroom, John finally sees the graffiti on the walls of his own room which his conscious mind has repressed until now. Then he plays with the alchemizer while Rose builds his house up to the First Gate.

In the desolate future, a white-shelled Peregrine Mendicant finds a mobile command station that flies her to the mystic ruins. She and the Wayward Vagabond must take cover from the aggression of a black-shelled Aimless Renegade who has claimed the ruins as a crime scene. Together, they help deliver a package from John to Jade that needs to be sent into Jade’s past to complete a time loop.

The package to Jade was one of three gifts John sent when his friends turned thirteen. He gave knitting needles to Rose and celebrity aviators to Dave. Since at least that time, the kids have been getting messages from internet trolls who claim to be from outside their universe.

dave

TG: bro just kicked my ass
TG: thats really all there is to say on the matter

exits and entries

Dad’s black-shelled kidnappers have led him to the purple kingdom of darkness that is Prospit’s enemy. Dad makes trouble for his captors and their archagent, Jack Noir. Before Noir can punish him, Dad does Jack a surprising turn by destroying the harlequin hat that Jack wears under duress. Jack lets Dad go free.

Bro drops his copies of Sburb for Dave and flies away on a rocket board. Dave installs the game as Rose’s server player and helps her get started. They prototype Rose’s kernel with Jaspers and a tentacle princess doll. After many difficulties and a leap of faith, Rose enters the game.

Meanwhile, two other entries happen: John fights his way up to his First Gate and jumps through, while Jade enters the mystic ruins for the first time and finds a flowering lotus-shaped time capsule.

ACT 3 BY DATE POSTED
datepagescenes and eventsadventure log
October 12 2009 2659

ACT 3.

The old Sassacre’s contains a note from Nanna.

Dear John,

October 14 2009 2660

Who is this silly girl?

Jade Harley examines her atrium.

Pseudogame 7: SILLY FLUTE REFRAIN.

ACT 3 ==>

Enter name.

Wake up!

Retrieve arms from...

Drop pumpkin on Farmstink.

Read note.

Try again.

==>

Examine room.

[S] Jade: Play a silly flute refrain.

October 15 2009 2670

Jade considers the flute.

==>

Jade: Captchalogue flute.

October 16 2009 2672

Jade selects a modus, feeds the plants, and consults the bands on her fingers.

Jade: Set modus.

Jade: Select Memory.

Jade: Squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plants.

==>

==>

Jade: Consult colourful reminders.

Jade: Captchalogue the pumpkin growing next to you.

October 17 2009 2679

Jade examines the garden atrium.

Jade: Exit this room.

==>

October 18 2009 2681

Jade picks some fruit.

Jade: Captchalogue something.

==>

==>

==>

==>

October 19 2009 2686

Jade transportalizes upstairs.

Jade: Go upstairs to bedroom.

==>

October 20 2009 2688

Jade explores her room.

Jade: Ascend.

==>

Jade: Explore the other half of your room!

==>

October 21 2009 2692

Jade examines her Wardrobifier.

Jade: Quickly retrieve firearms from wall.

Jade: Wonder why the design on your shirt changed.

==>

October 22 2009 2695

Jade plays with dolls and admires fauna.

Jade: Captchalogue nearest Squiddles doll and hug it.

==>

Jade: Lose interest in fauna and never speak of it again.

Jade: Pick up your toys!

Jade: Organize all your dolls.

Jade: Change wardrobifier setting.

October 23 2009 2701

Jade admires the view.

Jade: Look out window.

Jade: Retrieve fursuit from magic chest.

Jade: Open chest.

October 24 2009 2704

Jade lets us play Memory with her items. (Not really.)

Jade: Examine magic 8-ball and magic cue ball.

==>

Jade: Captchalogue refrigerator.

Jade: Feed your friend.

==>

==>

Try again.

Take another crack at this.

Ok, one more time.

==>

Jade: Stick fruits in the refrigerator to keep them fresh.

==>

Jade: Press the steak button.

==>

October 25 2009 2718

Jade irradiates a steak for Bec.

Jade: Lightly irradiate steak.

==>

October 27 2009 2720

Cinematic 18: HAUNTINGLY RELAXING BASSLINE.

Jade: Examine the atomic bass by your bed.

==>

[S] Jade: Play a hauntingly relaxing bassline.

October 28 2009 2723

Jade gets on her computer.

Jade: Captchalogue bass.

Jade: Open lunchtop.

Jade: Get down to business.

October 29 2009 2726

Silent film 6: PESTERCHUM ENAMEL.

Jade: Activate Pesterchum.

October 30 2009 2727

Dave pesters Jade about his fursona.

Jade: Pester John.

Jade: See if Dave left you a sweet new rap.

==>

October 31 2009 2730

Pseudogame 8: FRESHjamz.

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz!

November 2 2009 2731

Cinematic 19: MIDNIGHT CREW.

Jade pesters Dave about birthday packages.

Jade: Open Echidna and go to mspaintadventures.com

END INTERMISSION.

[S] MIDNIGHT CREW: ACT 1031

==>

Jade: Pester Dave.

November 6 2009 2736

Cinematic 20: STRIFE WITH BRO, ROUND 1.

Rose pesters Jade for reassurance.

[S] Dave: STRIFE.

==>

Jade: Pester Rose.

Jade: Be the other girl.

Rose: Descend.

Jade: Stop being the other girl and pester John again.

==>

November 8 2009 2743

Cinematic 21: STRIFE WITH THE CRUDE OGRES, ADVERSITY.

[S] Jade: Descend.

November 9 2009 2744

The Mendicant meets a robotic worm.

John contributes to the walkthrough.

Rose escapes to the SkaiaNet laboratory.

Also in the future...

==>

==>

==>

November 10 2009 2748

Rose enters the Hubgrid.

Jade descends through Grandpa’s trophies.

Rose: Look for mad scientists.

==>

==>

Jade: Transportalize as far down as you can go.

Jade: Proceed.

Jade: Keep going.

November 11 2009 2754

Karkat trolls Jade about fucking up.

Jade: Don't stop.

==>

Jade: Complete your descent.

==>

==>

Jade: Answer.

Rose: Look at that kiosk.

Rose: Go to the center and do a goofy dance.

November 12 2009 2762

Rose loses Jasper and finds a power source in the grid.

Rose: Attempt to plug laptop into nearby hub.

==>

Rose: Examine fetch modus.

==>

Rose: Find the unlocked hub.

==>

==>

==>

November 13 2009 2770

The Mendicant’s apple station counts down to liftoff.

Again in the future...

November 17 2009 2771

Cinematic 22: STRIFE WITH BRO, ROUND 2.

[S] Dave: Abscond.

November 18 2009 2772

Rose discovers the Session Terminal.

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

Rose: Look around for anything else of importance.

==>

==>

==>

November 20 2009 2777

Pseudogame 9: STRIFE WITH THE CRUDE OGRES, VICTORY.

Rose: Turn on your laptop and check on John.

==>

[S] Rose: Ascend.

November 21 2009 2780

John levels up.

Nannasprite hints at what comes next.

John: High-five Nannaquin.

John: Climb that echeladder.

John: Collect phat lewtz.

John: Pick up as much grist as you can hold.

==>

==>

November 22 2009 2786

Dad wreaks havoc on Derse.

The Mendicant blows a hole in her station when she tries to speak to Jade.

Elsewhere, we find a place...

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

You are now...

PM: Check mail.

PM: Open envelope.

==>

==>

PM: Examine keyboard and screen.

PM: Type => VIEW

Greetings.

Don't I know you?

==>

==>

November 23 2009 2803

Rose discovers a pink bedroom set and a mutant kitten in the lab.

==>

Rose: Refuse to acknowledge the absurd tea set.

==>

Rose: Wear the scarf. Be the Rider.

==>

November 24 2009 2808

John and Jade steel themselves for familial encounters.

John: Resist great urge to take the wedged shale.

==>

John: Jump down.

==>

Jade: Scamper into grand foyer with wild abandon.

Jade: Arm yourself.

November 25 2009 2814

Jade tries to sneak by Grandpa.

Jade: Examine those chaps on the sofa.

==>

==>

November 27 2009 2817

Pseudogame 10: STRIFE WITH GRANDPA.

Jade: Leap dramatically across the divide.

[S] Strife!!!

November 28 2009 2819

Jade leaves the house.

A robotic worm rescues the mail.

==>

Jade: Abscond!

PM: Miraculously survive.

PM: Peer out explosion hole.

==>

==>

==>

November 29 2009 2826

Rose creates a paradox clone of Jaspers.

Rose: Refuse to acknowledge the absurd kitten.

Rose: Insert coin.

Rose: Let's play a game.

Rose: Screw around with the appearifier.

==>

Rose: Cause time paradox.

==>

==>

==>

Rose: Have a flashback.

==>

November 30 2009 2837

Cinematic 23: TRACE JASPERS.

Bonus Cinematic: NEIGH.

Rose retrieves the corpse and escapalizes.

Rose: Trace Jaspers' whereabouts on the machine.

[S] Rose: Fast forward to now.

[S] Ride. (bonus)

==>

Rose: Appearify Jaspers immediately.

Rose: Stop fooling around and transportalize out of there!

December 1 2009 2842

Jade searches for Bec and the package from John.

Jade: Locate and feed the devilbeast you call a pet.

==>

==>

Jade: Retrieve the package you expected to arrive.

December 2 2009 2846

Cinematic 24: KIND OF A BORING ROOM.

John: Triple somersault into room, etc. Stick the landing.

John: Snoop.

[S] John: Examine your dad's room.

December 3 2009 2849

Who is this slick archagent?

John: Calm down, it'll be alright.

==>

==>

==>

Enter name.

Take another stab at it.

State name and rank.

Jack: Don comical hat.

December 4 2009 2857

Jack Noir despises the hat.

Dad gets the drop on the Brute.

John opens his presents and configures a queuestack array fetch modus.

Jack: Call a minion.

==>

==>

Jack: Throw down hat in disgust.

==>

==>

John: Investigate room for anything dad may have left behind

John: Present time! Open a present see what's inside!

John: Obtain SW33TL00T.

==>

John: Equip array fetch modus.

John: Read instructions for control deck.

==>

==>

John: Unwrap the smallest present first.

==>

John: Open the big one.

December 5 2009 2874

John discovers the hideous dark secret of Fruit Gushers.

John: Fill up an entire queuestack with shoes.

John: Captchalogue Fruit Gushers.

John: Closely inspect Fruit Gushers box.

==>

==>

December 6 2009 2879

Cinematic 25: GUSHERS.

[S] John: Mental breakdown.

December 8 2009 2880

Pseudogame 11: STRIFE WITH BEC.

[S] Jade: Retrieve package.

==>

==>

==>

December 9 2009 2884

Rose transportalizes home just in time to see a meteor unestablish the SkaiaNet lab.

John punches some cards.

Rose: Check self for any mixed atoms with cat.

Rose: Look around room.

Rose: Watch the meteor impact.

==>

==>

John: Get down to business.

December 10 2009 2890

Jade dreams.

Jade: Dream.

==>

==>

==>

December 11 2009 2894

The Dreambot mimicks Dream Jade.

Jade: Obliquely foreshadow future through interpretive dance

Jade: Quick! Get into bed!

Jade: Realize you can fly!

December 12 2009 2897

Months prior: John pesters Jade about his gift to her.

In the present: John sees his subconscious graffiti.

Years posterior: the Vagabond appearifies the gift.

Jade: Open the Package.

==>

Months in the past...

==>

John: Make totems.

Rose: Flee room.

Rose: Pester John.

==>

==>

WV: Descend.

WV: Sacrifice your MAYORAL SASH for more CABLES.

WV: Appearify the temple.

==>

WV: Command Serenity to carry the rope to you.

WV: Get ye rope.

==>

==>

==>

December 14 2009 2915

An Aimless Renegade prepares for company.

WV: Try to appearify the cable again.

WV: Take obvious course of action.

Years in the future...

==>

==>

==>

==>

December 16 2009 2922

Rose pesters John about brain problems.

Rose: Build as much as you can as fast as you can.

==>

John: Alchemize.

==>

December 18 2009 2926

Cinematic 26: PROSPIT.

[S] Jade: Dream up extra arms and play advanced bass solo.

Jade: Change wardrobifier to cycle thru STAR HEART HORSESHOE

Jade: Go explore the golden city.

==>

==>

==>

December 19 2009 2932

Dream Jade sees the Mistress and so, in another time and place, does the Vagabond.

Jade: Go and make a new friend.

==>

==>

==>

WV: Eat letter and envelope.

WV: Look behind you!

WV: Read letter.

==>

December 20 2009 2940

Following Jade’s instructions, the Vagabond takes cover with the Mendicant and gives her the box.

Dream Jade visits Dream John.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

WV: Give present! Hooray!!!

Jade: Gracefully fly to the other golden tower.

Jade: Inspect neighbor's tower.

==>

==>

==>

December 21 2009 2952

John incorporates double-punched cards into his alchemy.

John: Alchemize in a 1980's time-lapse montage.

John: Recombine hammer and pogo ride.

John: Combine ghost shirt and suit.

John: Combine ghost suit and Wise Guy book.

December 22 2009 2956

John alchemizes so much sweet loot.

John: Combine glasses and PDA.

John: Combine sledgehammer, telescope, and Sassacre text.

John: Combine gushers and blue ectoplasm.

John: Combine fake arm, blue ectoplasm, and PDA.

John: Combine ghost gauntlet and bathroom mirror.

John: Combine umbrella and straight razor.

John: Combine gushers and shaving cream.

John: Combine Ghost Dad poster with...

John: Captchalogue/punch Heath Ledger Joker figurine.

John: Combine Cosby poster with computer.

John: Combine Dad's hat and Problem Sleuth game.

John: Combine Hammer and Problem Sleuth game.

John: Combine iron and pogo hammer.

==>

December 24 2009 2970

Cinematic 27: STRIFE WITH BRO, FINAL ROUND.

Bro defeats Dave, leaves him the beta, and rides a rocket board into the sky.

[S] Dave: Strife!

==>

==>

December 28 2009 2973

Cinematic 28: SKAIAN ECLIPSE.

[S] Jade: Pester John.

December 29 2009 2974

Jade decides to enter the Mystic Ruins.

==>

Jade: Update colourful reminders.

==>

Jade: Grab your harpoon gun.

December 30 2009 2978

Jade zip-lines to a satellite of the Ruins.

Rose builds John’s house up to the First Gate.

Jade: Use harpoon to zip-line into the great outdoors.

==>

==>

Rose: Finish building.

December 31 2009 2982

Dave dumps his shit on the roof and grabs the beta.

Dave: Mourn the loss of Cal.

Dave: Go get a god damn new sword.

Dave: Captchalogue beta.

Dave: Eject your modus and set it to Scrabble values.

Dave: Get beta.

Dave: Pester Rose.

==>

January 1 2010 2989

Months prior: Rose gets knitting needles for her birthday. Kanaya trolls her about intellect.

Dave gets the Stiller shades for his birthday. Tavros trolls him about innuendo.

Rose: Captchalogue and send John code for his present.

Months in the past...

dear rose,

==>

Rose: Answer.

==>

==>

==>

dear dave,

==>

Dave: Answer.

January 2 2010 3000

After emptying his gun at the intruders, the Renegade looks for another weapon.

You are now...

AR: Realize that your weapon is magazine-fed, not clip-fed.

AR: Examine the wall behind you.

AR: Go search for more ammo.

AR: Quickly retrieve side arms.

January 3 2010 3005

The Renegade plays courthouse.

Jade places John’s present for the Vagabond to appearify.

AR: Find a rocket launcher.

==>

AR: Befriend the unwelcome rogues.

==>

==>

==>

AR: Examine moving platform.

Jade: Place present on monument.

==>

==>

==>

January 4 2010 3016

The Renegade shoots rockets all over the place.

The Mendicant sendificates the gift.

PM : Read the letter.

==>

==>

AR: Berate self for unauthorized demolition.

AR: Be the law.

==>

WV: Wave about in a distracting manner.

==>

PM: Scamper quickly to the newly created hole.

==>

PM: Read the next step of the letter.

==>

==>

January 5 2010 3029

Years prior: little Jade gets a gift and a letter from future John.

Years in the past...

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

dear jade,

==>

January 6 2010 3037

Dad earns Jack’s amnesty for destroying his hat.

WHOP

==>

Jack: Kill John's dad yourself.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

January 7 2010 3045

Jade crosses the lagoon.

Jade: Play guitar to summon giant lily pads.

==>

==>

January 8 2010 3048

Dave installs Sburb.

Dave: Install beta.

January 14 2010 3049

Cinematic 29: FOUR TIMES ENTRY COMBO.

Dave connects to Rose and helps her into the game. They prototype Rose’s kernelsprite with Jasper and the Tentacle Princess.

Nannasprite leaves a note in the new Sassacre’s.

Jade finds a lotus time capsule in the Ruins. The lotus yields Dave’s juice-stained betas.

John wrinklefucks and sassacrushes his way to the First Gate.

Curtains.

[S] Enter.

==>

==>

==>

END OF ACT 3