Main Page

the acts and pages of

HOMESTUCK

a guide for fans of
the web adventure

documented by

RAFE SALTMAN

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art and excerpts
from homestuck

  © 2009-2016  

ANDREW HUSSIE


Act 1

Act 2

Act 3

Int

Act 4

5–1

5–2

EOA5

6–1

6–2

6–3

6–4

6–5

6-6-1

6-6-2

6-6-3

6-6-4

6-6-5

6-6-6

Act 7


Part 1 log


Part 2 log


Part 3 log


Part 4 log

Homestuck Part 2

spoilers ahead!

ACT 5 ACT 1

“MOB1US DOUBL3 R34CH4ROUND”

Page 3889  Page 3933 Page 3973 Page 4008 Page 4050 Page 4089
Page 4138 Page 4177 Page 4223 Page 4265 Page 4322
Page 4370 Page 4416 Page 4452 Page 4478 Page 4490

ACT 5 ACT 2

“He is already here.”

Page 4526  Page 4567 Page 4626 Page 4658 Page 4692 Page 4740 Page 4787 Page 4827 Page 4869 Page 4906 Page 4935 Page 4979 Page 5019 Page 5072 Page 5118 Page 5172 Page 5221 Page 5264 Page 5314 Page 5338 Page 5379 Page 5420 Page 5465 Page 5513 Page 5559 Page 5595 Page 5644 Page 5660 Page 5720 Page 5760 Page 5774 Page 5795 Page 5836 Page 5874 Page 5902 Page 5919 Page 5943 Page 5953 Page 5961 Page 5973 Page 5981

END OF ACT 5

“Cascade.”

—and—

INTERMISSION 2

“The Man in the Cairo Overcoat.”

Page 6009  Page 6011 

PART 2 BY DATE POSTED
datepagescenes and eventsadventure log
June 12 2010 3889

ACT 5 ACT 1.

What is this forgotten planet, and who is this young troll?

ACT 5 ==>

Enter name.

Try again.

Hivebent

Enter name.

Try again.

June 13 2010 3895

Karkat Vantas examines his block.

Karkat: Examine slimy purple pod.

Karkat: Get in.

Karkat: Examine movie posters.

======>

Karkat: Captchalogue sickle.

Karkat: Take card vault.

Karkat: Examine large black book.

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Karkat: Leave your room.

June 14 2010 3904

Karkat takes in the view outside. Gamzee trolls him about mIrAcLeS.

Karkat: Examine neighborhood.

======>

Karkat: Go back inside.

Karkat: Check out magazine.

Karkat: Check out DVD.

Karkat: Get down to business on computer.

Karkat: Answer troll.

June 15 2010 3911

Who is this motherfucker?

Gamzee Makara examines his block and braves the seaside, hoping to see his lusus.

======>

Enter name.

Gamzee: Captchalogue bottle of Faygo.

Gamzee: Captchalogue computer.

Gamzee: Ride one wheel device.

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Gamzee: Sample delicious pie cooling on the counter.

Gamzee: Take a juggling club.

Gamzee: Go outside.

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Gamzee: Retrieve husktop.

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June 16 2010 3923

Terezi asks Gamzee to play gamezez. Sollux asks Karkat too.

Who is this strange and funny girl?

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Gamzee: Answer troll.

Karkat: Get some programming done.

Karkat: Check out one of his files.

Karkat: Answer troll.

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Enter name.

June 17 2010 3932

Terezi Pyrope plays Courtblock Drama.

Terezi: Cut to the chase and begin LARPing immediately.

Terezi: Interrogate.

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Terezi: Slap him around a bit.

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Terezi: Call a witness.

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June 18 2010 3942

It’s another triumph for justice.

Terezi: Sentence the criminal.

Terezi: Flip.

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Terezi: Adjourn.

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June 19 2010 3952

Terezi asks Nepeta to play on Red Team.

Terezi: Go get cane.

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Terezi: Begin recruiting red team members.

Terezi: Troll AC.

Terezi: Troll TC.

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June 20 2010 3958

Karkat assumes leadership and enters the Land of Pulse and Haze.

Aradia desecrates some blue ruins.

Terezi: Deal with Karkat.

A little later...

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Karkat: Deal with Terezi.

A little while ago...

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June 21 2010 3966

Eridan finds Gamzee’s pop.

The troll life cycle is explained. Crabdad gives Karkat grief.

A little later...

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And later still...

Karkat: Deal with crabby customer.

[S???] ======>

June 22 2010 3971

Who is this cool and moody dude?

Sollux Captor trashes his beehouse mainframe.

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Yeah.

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Enter name.

Sollux: Equip throwing stars to strife specibus.

Sollux: Fling stars specibus-ward.

June 23 2010 3979

Sollux trolls Terezi about his twofold doom.

Sollux: Taste honey.

Sollux: Calm those bees down.

Sollux: Get to work at computer.

Sollux: Recruit team leader.

June 24 2010 3983

Aradia trolls Sollux about spooky conundrums. Sollux tries to call off the game.

Karkat curses himself and his friends. Crabdad and the Old Goat die.

Sollux ponders the ultimate virus.

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Sollux: Deal with apocalypseArisen.

Sollux: Abort.

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Sollux: Lament.

Sollux: Delete.

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June 25 2010 3993

Biclopsdad grumbles about Aradia.

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June 26 2010 3996

Kanaya poses for a teaser in the sunlight. She lives next to some red ruins.

Be the other girl.

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June 27 2010 4000

Who is this dude in his four wheel device?

Tavros Nitram plays Fiduspawn.

Stop being the other girl.

Enter name.

Tavros: Cut to the chase and play card games immediately.

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June 28 2010 4009

Tavros commands the animals.

Tavros: Command faithful steed.

Tavros: Horsaroni: Spawntech -> Slumberbuddies.

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Tavros: Roll up your ramp.

Tavros: Hop in.

June 29 2010 4015

Tavros yearns for adventure. Later on, he is given a robotic prosthesis. Vriska fucks with him. Gamzee raps with him.

Tavros: Take lance.

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Tavros: Admire posters.

Way in the future...

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And way back again...

Tavros: Deal with AG.

Tavros: Rap with TC.

June 30 2010 4024

A meteor strikes and kills Terezi’s hatchling dragon lusus.

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July 1 2010 4032

Who is this spooky lady?

Aradia Megido retreives her Crosbytop.

Be the other other girl.

Render the girl in a more symbolic manner.

Enter name.

Aradia: Retrieve computer.

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July 2 2010 4039

Kanaya asks Aradia to reconsider. Aradia leaves the blue ruins and haunts Sollux’s hive stem. Vriska fucks with her.

Aradia: Humor GA.

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Aradia: Check on Sollux.

Aradia: Go up.

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Aradia: Get bugged by AG.

Be the mysterious spider girl.

July 3 2010 4046

Aradia puts Sollux to sleep, awakening his Prospit dreamself. Later, he wakes under the influence of mind honey and kills Biclopsdad with his eye beams.

Sollux: Get back to Aradia.

Sollux: Look out window.

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Much later...

Sollux: Wake up.

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July 4 2010 4055

Who is this silly cat girl?

Nepeta Leijon caresses the doomed Pounce de Leon.

Karkat checks on her.

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Enter name.

Nepeta: Retrieve claws from arms.

Nepeta: Scratch lusus behind ears.

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Nepeta: Examine computer.

Nepeta: Answer Karkat.

July 5 2010 4062

Equius presses Nepeta into Blue Team.

She breaks the news to Tavros.

Nepeta: Consult with friend on the matter.

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Nepeta: Give Tavros the bad news.

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July 6 2010 4067

Perigees prior: Tavros plays Flarp. Vriska fucks with him. He takes a fall and becomes paraplegic.

Some time ago...

Tavros: Contact fellow Team Charge member.

Tavros: Hatch campaign.

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Tavros: Go outside and begin adventure.

A little later...

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July 7 2010 4078

Vriska fucks with Karkat.

Equius and Feferi pose for teasers.

Back in the present...

Karkat: Be the other asshole.

HURRY

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July 8 2010 4083

Aradia connects with Nepeta, prototypes the frog head from the blue ruins, enters the Land of Quartz and Melody, and prototypes herself.

Aradia: Go home.

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Aradia: Begin session.

Aradia: Connect to server player.

Aradia: Tier 1 prototype.

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Aradia: Enter.

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Aradia: Tier 2 prototype.

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July 9 2010 4093

Aradia explains things to Nepeta.

Who is this huge bitch?

Nepeta: Interrogate frog girl.

Aradia: Be the huge bitch.

Enter name.

July 10 2010 4096

Vriska Serket examines her block.

Vriska: Check out cool drawing on wall.

Vriska: Proceed to computer.

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Vriska: Take dice.

July 11 2010 4100

Doc Scratch gloats at Vriska. Kanaya asks after Spidermom.

Vriska: Begin meddling.

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Vriska: Deal with this guy.

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Vriska: Endure meddling.

Vriska: Check on lusus.

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July 12 2010 4109

Who is this creepy neighbour?

Equius Zahhak examines his block.

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Enter name.

Equius: Check on lusus.

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Equius: Thank Aurthour.

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Equius: Drink lusus milk.

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Equius: Equiup a bow.

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July 13 2010 4120

Equius submits to Gamzee, repays Vriska’s intrusion with a robo slap, and examines his Aradia soulbot.

Equius: Answer.

Equius: Talk to friend/enemy.

Vriska: Be in cahoots with Equius. Cahoooooooots.

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Equius: Go check on Aradia's present.

Equius: Remove tarp.

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July 14 2010 4127

Equius breaks the catenative cascader, crushing Spidermom under a rockfall. Aurthour falls to his death.

Vriska fucks with Terezi.

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Moments earlier...

Vriska: Meddle with Terezi.

And much earlier than that...

July 15 2010 4139

Perigees earlier: Aradia and Doc Scratch fuck with Vriska. Vriska fucks with Sollux and Aradia.

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Aradia: Make her pay.

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Vriska: Answer white text guy.

Vriska: Make her pay.

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July 16 2010 4152

We fail to be Doc Scratch.

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Be the white text guy.

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July 17 2010 4156

Terezi fucks with Doc Scratch and Vriska.

Vriska loses an eye and arm to her exploding magic cue ball.

Perigees later: Vriska euthanizes the mortally wounded Spidermom. Equius’s hive plummets toward her and enters the medium in mid-fall.

======>

Terezi: Orchestrate demise of the wicked.

Terezi: Contact partner in crime.

Vriska: Consult little advantage.

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Terezi: Inform Mr. Vanilla Milkshake about his missing orb.

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In the aftermath of more recent misfortune...

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Vriska: Roll.

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July 18 2010 4176

Vriska gripes at Aradia.

Vriska: What's her deal????????

July 19 2010 4177

Equius passes through the Land of Caves and Silence.

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Equius: Let her know the deal.

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Equius: Proceed to second gate.

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July 20 2010 4184

Equius joins Aradia and gives her the soulbot. Aradia flips the fuck out at his presumption.

Equius: Enter.

Equius: Deliver present.

Aradiasprite: Enter soulbot.

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July 27 2010 4194

Nepeta updates her shipping wall.

Karkat welcomes Vriska into Red Team and Operation Regisurp.

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Nepeta: Update wall.

Karkat: Recruit Vriska.

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July 28 2010 4198

Earlier: the Jack Noir of the troll session finds Karkat and draws his mutant blood.

Be Jack a few minutes ago...

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Jack: Look at knife.

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July 29 2010 4206

Later: acting on Jack’s intel, Red Team snipes the Black Queen’s ring.

Doc Scratch hires the newly exiled sovereign.

Karkat: Be in cahoots with Jack.

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Red team: Execute Operation Regisurp.

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July 30 2010 4212

Red and Blue Teams were playing the same session all along.

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July 31 2010 4220

Who is this sunny lady?

Kanaya Maryam examines her block.

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And pages and pages and pages.

Enter name.

Kanaya: Equip chainsaw.

Kanaya: Fine, equip that then.

Kanaya: Apply.

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August 1 2010 4228

Feferi glubs at Kanaya.

Momgrubmom dies.

Kanaya: Answer CC.

Kanaya: Check on lusus.

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August 2 2010 4232

Kanaya extracts and captchalogues the Matriorb and tastes Momgrubmom’s blood.

Kanaya: Go downstairs.

Kanaya: Operate.

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Kanaya: Captchalogue that thing.

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Kanaya: Just a taste.

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Kanaya: Meddle with moirail.

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August 3 2010 4243

Eridan solicits Kanaya ashenly.

She reads Rose’s walkthrough.

Kanaya: Answer CA.

Kanaya: Return to room.

Kanaya: Consult source.

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August 4 2010 4248

Tavros enters the Land of Sand and Zephyr.

Vriska fucks with him.

Tavros: Enter.

And in time...

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August 5 2010 4252

Kanaya puts the kibosh on Vriska’s self-indulgent stairs nonsense.

Tavros: Summon Rufio.

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Vriska: Wheeeeeeee!

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Kanaya: Mediate.

August 6 2010 4257

Vriska sends Tavros her pshoooes code. He alchemizes a rocket chair and sets off to explore his land.

Vriska: Scurry downstairs.

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Vriska: Take them.

Vriska: Go back up.

Vriska: Get code.

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Vriska: Send code.

Tavros: Alchemize.

Tavros: Fly, Pupa!!!!!!!!

And again, in time...

Tavros: Lead fearsome entourage into ruins.

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August 7 2010 4269

Vriska sends Tavros through his second gate. He crashes into her hive in the Land of Maps and Treasure.

Tavros: Confer with teammate.

Tavros: Look at map.

Tavros: Point cherry vehicle toward X on map.

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Vriska: Wake up.

August 8 2010 4275

Failing to seduce Tavros with Pupa Pan roleplay, Vriska falls back on mind control and then gives up.

Vriska: Help Pupa find shadow.

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Vriska: Apply special stardust.

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Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

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August 9 2010 4286

Vriska breaks Kanaya’s heart.

Kanaya: Deal with your own crisis.

Kanaya: Return to serving client.

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August 10 2010 4292

Troll concupiscent romance is explained.

Try to understand.

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Examine flushed quadrant.

Examine caliginous quadrant.

August 11 2010 4296

Troll reproduction, conciliatory romance, and volatility are explained.

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Examine ashen quadrant.

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Examine pale quadrant.

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August 12 2010 4303

Later: Karkat tries to expose John to troll romance.

Who is this awesome guy?

Wait! More troll romance exposition please.

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Attempt 2x transition combo.

Enter name.

August 13 2010 4309

Eridan Ampora goes whaling.

Who is this adorable girl?

Eridan: Do something awesome.

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Enter name.

August 14 2010 4323

Feferi Peixes feeds Gl’bgolyb.

Feferi: Do something adorable.

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August 15 2010 4336

Eridan examines his block.

Feferi: Go home.

Eridan: Go home.

Eridan: Examine block.

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August 16 2010 4340

Feferi examines her block.

They ride the sea ponies.

Feferi: Examine block.

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Eridan and Feferi: Do something ridiculous.

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August 17 2010 4348

Vriska breaks Eridan’s spade.

Eridan: Bother Feferi.

Eridan: Go get a beverage.

Eridan: Check fridge.

Eridan: Open it.

Feferi: Go get a beverage.

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Feferi: Disarm.

Eridan: Disarm.

Eridan: Bother Vriska.

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August 18 2010 4362

Feferi quiets Gl’bgolyb’s terrible voice with the custodians of the vanquished.

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August 19 2010 4366

Feferi enters the Land of Dew and Glass and breaks Eridan’s diamond.

Some time later...

Feferi: Report to Eridan.

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August 20 2010 4369

Karkat joins Gamzee in the Land of Tents and Mirth.

Sollux, dying in the Vast Glub, enters the Land of Brains and Fire.

Gamzee comforts Eridan.

Feferi: Proceed to gate.

Karkat: Check on Sollux.

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Gamzee: Indulge emotional theatrics.

Eridan: Slam a Faygo.

Eridan: BLUH!

August 21 2010 4378

Feferi awakens Sollux’s Derse dreamself.

We watch the author of Homestuck watch Spades Slick watch his past self watch Karkat watch Feferi kiss Sollux.

We enter the Land of Stumps and Dismay.

And later still...

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Karkat: BLUH!

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MSPA: Quick, become more meta while AH is brooding.

==========>

====================>

August 22 2010 4392

The mounted Gmork head scares Hussie shitless. Instead of recapping Homestuck, he repeats the troll romance essay verbatim.

Slick returns us to the action.

AH: Ok, ha ha, get back to the story jackass.

Uh... Wolf?

This is ridiculous.

Oh my god.

Wow.

Alright, now you’re DEFINITELY trolling us. Come on.

AH: Recap, then?

AH: Reel it in.

SS: Move this along.

==>

SS: Type '====', then ==>

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August 23 2010 4405

Clubs Deuce’s inane greeting gives Sollux a fit.

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BOY.

YOU THERE. RED AND BLUE EYE BOY.

I REMEMBER THIS!

IT WILL ONLY BE A MOMENT.

TROLL ETIQUETTE SURE IS CONFUSING.

August 24 2010 4411

Sollux leaves Derse and meets Feferi in his land.

Vriska and Tavros go treasure hunting.

OH JEEZ.

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Sollux: Blast off.

Sollux: Get back to adventurin'.

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Vriska: Get back to adventurin'.

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August 25 2010 4420

Karkat leaves Terezi in the Land of Thought and Flow.

Snowman, giving up on Vriska, enlists Terezi to make Jack into a Scurrilous Straggler.

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8th exile: Type "=> SWITCH 2".

======>

Seer.

It is time.

Terezi: Retrieve chalk.

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Terezi: Inquire.

To begin your mission.

You must eliminate the archagent.

August 26 2010 4432

Nepeta enters the Land of Little Cubes and Tea.

Nepeta: Surely you must be adventurin' by now.

Nepeta: Aggress.

August 27 2010 4434

After Aradia leaves Equius, he joins Nepeta in her land.

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Equius: Get up and commence the adventurin'.

Equius: Answer Karkat.

August 28 2010 4443

Karkat begins a cranky, rambling Trollian transtimeline bulletin board. Chumps from different times deride the effort and use it to air their girl troubles.

Snowman addresses Terezi.

Equius: Read first memo.

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Karkat: Begin another memo.

August 29 2010 4448

Hearts Boxcars’s tactless harangue gives Tavros a fit.

Snowman addresses Vriska and Terezi again.

HEY RUNT

I SAID GET YER ASS UP AND GO KISS THE GIRL YOU PIPSQUEAK

YOU KISS THAT GIRL THIS INSTANT

======>======>======>

Thief.

You will need to be strong.

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Snowman: Continue briefing.

Find the ring before he does.

And then,

August 30 2010 4460

Kanaya enters the Land of Rays and Frogs.

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Centuries ago...

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August 31 2010 4467

Kanaya and Karkat chat.

Kanaya: Reply to memo.

Kanaya: Scroll up.

September 1 2010 4469

Terezi psswooops with Dragonsprite.

Terezi: Fly up.

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September 2 2010 4474

Terezi and Karkat chat.

Terezi: Respond.

Terezi: Get closer look.

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September 3 2010 4477

Terezi crosses Jack.

[S... BAHJ] Terezi: Ascend.

September 8 2010 4478

Cinematic 38: REVENGE.

Perigees prior: wounded in the magic cue ball explosion, Vriska manipulates Tavros and the unborn dragon to blind Terezi.

The trolls explore their lands. Eridan duels Sollux. Soulbot Aradia assaults Vriska. Dream Vriska wakes.

[S] Make her pay.

September 9 2010 4479

Diamonds Droog and Soulbot Aradia skip to the end.

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DD: Move this along.

Skip to the end.

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That's what I like to hear.

September 15 2010 4490

Soulbot Aradia arrives from thousands of doomed timelines.

Aradia: Skip to the end.

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September 16 2010 4493

The trolls defeat the Black King and are presented with a portal to the ultimate reward.

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September 17 2010 4505

An omnipotent foe appears, destroying the portal.

The trolls hole up in a meteor lab in the veil, banished from the universe they left behind…

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September 18 2010 4510

…and barred from the universe they created.

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==>

September 19 2010 4525

Curtains.

END OF ACT 5 ACT 1

September 19 2010 4526

ACT 5 ACT 2.

Cinematic 39: HATE AT FIRST SIGHT.

[S] ACT 5 ACT 2 ==>

September 20 2010 4527

Karkat confesses his hate for John.

==>

Karkat: Troll this worthless human.

September 21 2010 4529

Karkat invades Rainbow Assgrab Junction.

Terezi: Open memo.

September 22 2010 4530

John’s rocket-board-propelled flight from the Veil ends with a gentle crash on LOWAS. Vriska fails to wake him.

==>

John: Land already.

==>

==>

Vriska: Manipul8 this worthless human.

==>

==>

==>

==>

September 23 2010 4539

Liv in tow, Dream John explores the Battlefield.

Trying again, Vriska wakes John, denying him a reunion with Dad. His dreamer vanishes, dropping the Ring of Orbs Fourfold.

==>

==>

==>

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John: Reunite with your loving father, and also scarf lady.

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Vriska: Try harder.

==>

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==>

September 24 2010 4550

Mom consoles Dad.

Vriska trolls John about her tangled we8. A pyxis delivers John’s Sburb server copy.

Jade’s dreambot-boom-propelled flight from her house ends with a bounce on a well-placed bed. She falls asleep again.

==>

==>

==>

John: Answer troll.

John: W8 around for a few minutes.

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==>

Jade: Land already.

==>

September 25 2010 4559

Wandering among his slain comrades, the Villein finds a Ring of Orbs Fourfold.

John rights the rocket board and flies to his house.

WV?: Survey casualties.

==>

John: Prepare for flight.

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==>

John: Return.

==>

September 26 2010 4566

Vriska trolls John about his ransacked block. John gives offensive cleaning apparatus the boot.

==>

John: Dispatch these pests.

John: Examine room.

John: Examine computer.

John: Examine Posters.

==>

Vriska: What's his deal????????

==>

==>

John: Discard sordid receptacle.

John: Exit to balcony.

==>

==>

John: Assail rogue.

==>

September 27 2010 4581

John pesters Rose about server play.

John: Look up.

John: Pester someone's server player.

September 28 2010 4583

Rose ruins a turtle temple. Turtles fly.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Rose: Investigate.

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==>

September 29 2010 4591

Kanaya volunteers to troll Rose, who makes an appalling first impression.

==>

Rose: Answer.

Rose: Be the troll girl.

Kanaya: Confer with leader.

Kanaya: Troll the Rose human.

Kanaya: Open viewport.

Kanaya: Keep viewing.

==>

==>

==>

Kanaya: View the past.

==>

Kanaya: Enter name.

==>

September 30 2010 4605

Kanaya makes the most complicated mess out of everything imaginable.

Kanaya: Troll the John human.

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==>

==>

==>

==>

Kanaya: Troll Rose human again.

==>

Kanaya: Explore this human emotion called friendship.

==>

Kanaya: Troll the Dave human.

Kanaya: Have seventh conversation.

October 1 2010 4617

Rose blows up the Snarky Horseshitometer.

Kanaya: Hop to 8=8.

==>

==>

==>

Kanaya: Have eighth conversation.

==>

October 2 2010 4623

Vriska trolls John about looking like a weenie Boy-Skylark.

John: Make backup computer.

John: Reunite with loving fatherly comedian themed laptop.

==>

October 4 2010 4626

Kanaya trolls Rose about her reckless investigation.

Vriska helps John alchemize a hot new look.

Kanaya: Have sixteenth conversation.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

John: Empty sylladex.

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John: Hurry up!

John: Blast off.

==>

October 5 2010 4637

John catches up with Dave.

John: Pester someone's server player's server player.

October 6 2010 4638

Dave scams the LOHAC Stock Exchange.

Dave: Make a goddamn killing in the LOHACSE.

==>

==>

Dave: Receive transfer from John.

October 7 2010 4642

Terezi trolls Dave about playing along with stable time loops.

Dave: Answer.

October 11 2010 4643

Previously: from the roof of the lab, Terezi witnesses Prospit’s destruction.

Dave: Be the troll girl.

Terezi: Sniff Skaiaward.

Terezi: Deploy smelloscope.

Terezi: Take a whiff.

==>

==>

October 12 2010 4649

Terezi returns to find Kanaya cutting off Tavros’s legs. Her Rainbow Rumpus friends say Derse will be destroyed too.

Terezi: Return to party.

==>

==>

==>

Terezi: Report news to partytown subscribers.

Terezi: Open memo.

October 13 2010 4655

Terezi receives a money transfer. Sollux traces it to the universe they bred.

Terezi: Wait for this important thing to happen.

Terezi: Accept transfer.

Terezi: Lick screen.

==>

Terezi: Confer with network administrator.

==>

==>

==>

October 14 2010 4663

Sollux, Feferi, and Terezi watch baby Dave grow up. Maplehoof is slain in the landing.

Terezi: Examine douthchebag.

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Terezi: Observe coolkid.

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==>

==>

==>

Sollux: Enter name.

==>

October 15 2010 4672

Terezi introduces herself to young Dave.

Months later, for him: he meets some friendly crocodiles. They try to eat him.

Terezi: Troll this awesome coolkid.

Terezi: Be the awesome coolkid.

Dave: Pester Terezi.

October 16 2010 4675

Dave gives himself the go-ahead to collude with Terezi.

Dave: Change into Four Aces Suited.

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==>

October 17 2010 4679

Terezi invites Dave to a mother fucking dance party.

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==>

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==>

October 18 2010 4683

Karkat butts in on the tail end of Dave and John’s conversations with their patron trolls.

Cinematic 40: NICOLAS CAGE.

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John: Pester Vriska.

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==>

[S] Vriska: Watch street tough maverick with nothing to lose

October 20 2010 4688

Karkat trolls John and Dave about the mindfuck murderthicket of shithive broads they blundered into.

John: Answer Karkat.

Dave: Answer Karkat.

John and Dave: Respond to memo.

October 24 2010 4691

Passed out on the floor, Karkat has his first deathnap.

Karkat: Be Past Karkat.

October 25 2010 4692

Minigame 5: VEILBOUND, LEVEL ONE. (aka AlterniaBound)

Karkat wakes to find everyone buzzing about the humans. He, Terezi, and Vriska explore the lab.

Nanna pies John.

[S] Past Karkat: Wake up.

John: Connect to Jade.

John: Deploy... huh?

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October 26 2010 4696

Nanna gives John a pendant for summoning her.

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October 27 2010 4703

Chumps hound Rose.

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Rose: Get hassled.

October 28 2010 4705

Eridan’s computer blows up. Soulbot Aradia doesn’t.

Rose: Answer Eridan.

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==>

Rose: Answer Aradia.

==>

Aradia: Randomly explode.

October 29 2010 4711

Nepeta asks to troll Jaspersprite again.

==>

Rose: Answer Nepeta.

Rose: Summon mystery fellow.

==>

October 30 2010 4715

Jaspersprite asks Rose to reconsider her quest.

Chumps line up to troll Dave. He starts by giving Gamzee a crisis of faith.

Rose: Give Jaspersprite laptop.

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Dave: Get hassled.

Dave: Answer Gamzee.

Gamzee: Watch.

==>

==>

October 31 2010 4722

Gamzee falls in hate with Insane Clown Posse.

==>

November 1 2010 4723

Next up is Equius, who ponders the human class structure.

Gamzee: ENGAGE HERO MODE.

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Dave: Answer Equius.

November 2 2010 4726

Dave smashes Caledfwlch out of its stone while trading weird raps with Equius.

Dave: Pull sword out of thing.

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==>

==>

November 3 2010 4730

Dave’s audacity flusters Equius.

==>

Equius: Dry off.

Dave: Take legendary POS.

November 4 2010 4733

Terezi gets the party started. Vriska puts Dave to sleep.

Dave: Answer Terezi.

==>

Dave: Summon Davesprite.

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==>

==>

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November 5 2010 4740

Davesprite fights off Hephaestus’s minions.

Davesprite: Defend.

November 7 2010 4741

Jack removes Bro’s sword intact from the Beat Mesa and flies away.

Jack: Examine.

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==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

November 10 2010 4748

Cinematic 41: THE FURTHEST RING.

Dream Dave stares into the Furthest Ring.

In her first deathnap, Jade dreams of Squiddles and then meets Feferi and the Horrorterrors.

Feferi trolls her about dream bubbles.

[S] Jade: Wake up.

==>

Jade: Answer.

November 11 2010 4751

Jade loses patience with Karkat’s hideous self-loathing.

Jade: Pester Karkat.

Karkat: Open memo.

November 12 2010 4753

Jade grows out of her reminders. John connects to Jade.

Jade: Consult reminders.

Jade: Remove reminders.

==>

==>

Jade: Head home.

John: Be the someone who is Jade's server player.

November 13 2010 4759

John deploys Jade’s alchemy gear.

John: Deploy cruxtruder.

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==>

John: Deploy totem lathe.

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==>

==>

==>

John: Deploy alchemiter.

November 14 2010 4768

Jade pesters John about what happened on the Battlefield.

Jack flies to LOWAS.

Jade: Go inside.

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==>

November 15 2010 4771

Jack challenges Bro.

John and Jade contemplate the prototyping possibilities.

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==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

John: Open cruxtruder.

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November 16 2010 4781

Davesprite joins Bro in the face-off.

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November 17 2010 4787

John narrowly avoids prototyping the stuffed Typheus minion.

Jade: Proceed to stairwell.

John: Yank monster off of thing.

==>

Jade: Go upstairs.

November 18 2010 4791

Bro and Davesprite attack. Jack unleashes the super deadly red shit.

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==>

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November 19 2010 4800

The oily sea of LOWAS catches fire.

Rose studies Skaia’s final form.

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==>

November 20 2010 4804

John pesters Rose for prototyping advice.

A friendly crocodile answers when Jade tries pestering Dave.

Dave and Rose spy on each other.

John wakes in the oily sea with no idea how he got there.

Rose: Answer John.

Jade: Examine punched card.

Jade: Carve totem.

Jade: Pester Dave.

==>

Dave: Visit paradox sister.

==>

==>

==>

==>

Rose: View John.

John: Wake up.

==>

==>

John: Pester Jade.

==>

November 21 2010 4820

Rose pesters John about escaping the fire. They talk about her progress as a Seer.

John: Equip goggles.

John: Answer Rose.

John: Look to your right.

November 22 2010 4823

Karkat trolls John about the terrible thing he did.

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==>

John: Answer the one who hates you.

==>

November 27 2010 4827

Cinematic 42: BÊTE NOIR.

An enormous meteor threatens Jade’s island.

Jade alchemizes her entry item, a Bec piñata and blindfold.

John almost prototypes Jade’s kernel with a Daughter of Eclectica when Vriska puts him to sleep and he drops the doll. Bec teleports Grandpa’s grand foyer junk into outer space and dumps himself into the kernelsprite.

Blindfolded, Jade swings her rifle butt around. When she connects with the piñata, it blows her out of the atrium window.

Becsprite attacks the meteor, engulfing the Earth in an apocalyptic wave.

Falling from the house, Jade fires her rifle. Becsprite ports the bullet at the piñata, smashing it. Jade and her house enter the Medium.

Bro and Davesprite battle the Slayer. They are evenly matched until Jack’s ring receives the final prototyping. He turns into Bec Noir.

His hand bloodied by unseen events, Bec Noir appears before the trolls in their moment of triumph and destroys the portal to the Ultimate Reward. Soulbot Aradia transportalizes the other trolls to safety. Noir tears the soulbots apart.

Dream Karkat wakes, sees Noir, and in the next moment dies when Noir destroys Prospit.

Jade plummets through the falling snow of her new land.

[S] Jade: Enter.

November 28 2010 4828

Having murdered Bro, Bec Noir takes his shades and Lil’ Cal for trophies. Davesprite hides in his pendant.

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November 29 2010 4834

Karkat trolls John about the consequences of Bec’s prototyping.

The Questant uncovers a keyhole to which she has the key, flipping a switch on a derelict control panel. Pieces converge from every corner of post-reckoning Earth to assemble a Bec-head station, which slams into the frog icon atop the Mystic Ruins.

The Vagabond recalls seeing John on the Battlefield.

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WV: Examine fourth station.

WV: Examine pumpkin.

WV: Examine ring.

WV: Remember.

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November 30 2010 4848

The Vagabond returns to John’s terminal and finds him in the oily sea. Failing to get John’s attention, the Vagabond presses the Caps Lock button, trapping himself and Serenity in the cork station.

==>

==>

WV?: Defend treasure.

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John: Wake up again.

==>

==>

WV: Command the thief's apprentice.

sir john, i have politely returned.

oh dear. the purple text human again?

what about the green text human, that one was nicer.

drat. please continue to solicit her graciously, good john.

why are you on a small rock? are you in peril, sir?

the master thief! is that who you are talking to now, john?

i don't like the gray text knight. it is an unpleasant human

john, stop talking to the gray text not human immediately.

stop stop stop stop stop stop stop.

WV: Push it.

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December 1 2010 4869

Vriska trolls John about rising to greatness.

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==>

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==>

Apprentice: Answer thief.

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December 2 2010 4877

WV begs John to make the breeze happen. John whips up a great wind that puts the fire out all over his planet.

JOHN, I APOLOGIZE IN A MANNERLY WAY FOR MY BIG LETTERS.

BUT I MUST URGE YOU TO ADDRESS THIS DANGER.

WHY DON'T YOU DO THE WINDY THING?

BOY, YOU'RE BEING VERY STUPID.

DO THE WINDY THING DO THE WINDY THING DO THE WINDY THING

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December 3 2010 4885

Dream Dave reads Charles Dutton’s Dream Bubbles.

On the date of baby Jade’s delivery, Dutton slept and saw God’s forge in frost.

Dave: Snoop.

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==>

December 4 2010 4888

Cinematic 43: LAND OF FROST AND FROGS.

[S] ==>

December 5 2010 4889

Sleeping Jade and dead Feferi relive their first conversation in a stable dream bubble.

==>

==>

Jade: Answer.

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==>

==>

Jade: Wake up again.

==>

Jade: Get out of bed.

Jade: Pester John.

Jade: Climb.

Jade: Turn around.

December 6 2010 4901

Pseudogame 14: STRIFE WITH THE URANIUM IMP.

An imp teleports Jade all over the Medium. Becsprite goes nuclear on the imp.

The Mendicant tries to talk to Jade; this is when her terminal exploded.

[S] Jade: STRIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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==>

==>

Jade: Level up!

Jade: Thank best friend.

==>

==>

Greetings.

==>

Don't I know you?

==>

==>

December 7 2010 4914

The Questant eases the Mendicant into her new role as Prospitian Monarch.

Jade returns to a home in ruins.

PM: Rule.

==>

WQ: Approach queen.

==>

PM: Appoint royal advisor.

==>

Jade: Return.

==>

Jade: Go upstairs.

Jade: Retrieve lunchtop.

December 8 2010 4924

With John preoccupied by his windy quest, Dave takes the reins as Jade’s server player.

Jade: Answer Dave.

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Jade: Deploy laserstation.

Dave: Eject disc.

Dave: Scan.

Dave: Read code.

Dave: Duplicate disc.

Jade: Go downstairs.

Dave: Deploy and upgrade.

Jade: OH GOD HURRY UP AND ALCHEMIZE STUFF GO GO GO.

December 9 2010 4934

Rose pesters Dave about the Horrorterrors’ petition.

Dave: Wake up.

Dave: Retrieve shades.

Dave: Answer Rose.

==>

December 10 2010 4939

Rose describes the Furthest Ring, the Green Sun, The Tumor, and Doc Scratch.

Kanaya makes a wand for Eridan and tries for the last time to dissuade Rose.

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==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Rose: Answer fairy god troll.

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December 11 2010 4948

Tavros trolls Jade about leg-based self esteem and asks to commune with Becsprite.

==>

Jade: Answer fairy god troll.

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==>

==>

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December 12 2010 4959

Vriska leaves her psychic fingerprints all over the kids’ session.

Thief: Tear into Page.

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==>

==>

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==>

December 13 2010 4965

Tavros prepares to stop Vriska.

On the other side of the fourth wall in Grandpa’s spooky old lab, the author of Homestuck rides Falcor to victory.

The windy thing subsides. John surmounts his echeladder.

Page: Retrieve arms.

==>

==>

==>

==>

AH: Ride.

Hell yes.

Hell.

Fucking.

Yes.

Heir: Level up.

Air: Cloud up.

==>

==>

December 15 2010 4979

Minigame 6: THE SALAMANDERS.

John visits a consort village. Vriska trolls him about his Quest Bed.

[S] John: Enter village.

John: Proceed to Quest Bed.

December 16 2010 4981

John reaches his Quest Bed and asks Vriska to put him to sleep on the slab.

Bec Noir murders the sleeping child.

Cinematic 44: HEIR OF BREATH.

Fireflies flock to the slain boy and the posts of his Quest Bed light up.

On the Battlefield, Dream John rises up to godhood in a burst of light shining clear across the Medium. Resurrected as a God Tier player, the Heir of Breath takes to the sky.

The Vagabond grieves, not understanding that he has witnessed these events in reverse.

John: Take legendary nap.

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==>

==>

==>

==>

[S] JOHN. RISE UP.

December 18 2010 4989

One Dave sleeps on his Quest Bed. Another Dave stands over him, sword drawn.

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==>

December 19 2010 4991

Terezi explains how she tricked him into making a decision that would spawn a doomed Dave.

Dave: Pester Terezi.

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==>

==>

December 20 2010 4995

Dave refuses the call of godhood.

Vriska lies mortally wounded in the wake of Soulbot Aradia’s beatdown. Hearts Boxcars asks Tavros to kiss her.

Dave: Show him your stabs.

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==>

==>

==>

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KISS HER

KISS THAT GIRL YOU WIMP

AW FER CRYING OUT LOUD

December 21 2010 5006

Vriska controls Tavros’s hand to write him instructions in her own blood. Obeying, Tavros carries her to her Quest Cocoon but hesitates to give her a merciful death.

Refusing Snowman’s easy way out, Vriska begs Tavros to kill her willfully.

THATS IT

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==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Thief.

==>

==>

==>

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Steal his will.

December 22 2010 5022

Tavros turns tail and leaves Vriska to die alone. She rises up to godhood, becoming the Thief of Light.

==>

DD: => SWITCH 4

Take her out.

Finish her.

What are you.

==>

==>

==>

Rise up, Thief.

December 23 2010 5031

Snowman departs from her station.

Trapped in the unpowered cork station, the Vagabond decides to wait for the fuel he ate to pass out of his system.

==>

Snowman: Escape.

==>

WV: Escape.

==>

==>

WV: Examine treasure.

WV: Search for power source.

Jade: Prepare for imminent windfall.

==>

December 24 2010 5041

Jade alchemizes Christmas.

shit. lets be santa

Jade: Draw conksuck boot.

Jade: Deck halls.

Jade: Alchemize.

Jade: Make earmuffs.

Jade: Just draw some earmuffs.

Jade: Combine earmuffs and lunchtop.

Jade: Combine Johnny 5 and lunchtop.

==>

Jade: Combine Iron Man armor and outfit.

==>

Jade: Combine one of grandpa's beauties and outfit.

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Jade: Combine Rose's crystal ball and magic cue ball.

==>

Jade: Combine Rose's crystal ball and magic 8 ball.

Jade: Combine crystal ball and glasses.

Jade: Combine sooth specs and lunchtop.

Jade: Combine furry trophy, lunchtop, and shirt/shoes.

Jade: Combine Dave's Midnight Crew poster and rifle.

December 25 2010 5061

Jade alchemizes Duttlemas.

Jade: Combine Charles Dutton and squiddle.

==>

Jade: Sketch particle accelerator.

Jade: Combine rifle, iron lass suit and particle accelerator

==>

Jade: Combine mummy and MC poster and outfit.

Jade: Combine green sun bedsheets and girl's best friend.

Jade: Combine dress of eclectica, Felt poster, and 8 ball.

Jade: Combine mecha, streetsweeper, and iron suit.

==>

Jade: Combine Dutton and sooth specs.

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==>

December 27 2010 5074

Eridan trolls Jade about a legendary piece of shit.

==>

Jade: Answer this douche bag.

December 28 2010 5076

Jade tosses out the legendary relic without equal.

Soulbot Aradia makes her goodbyes and explodes.

Jade: Make this legendary piece of shit.

Jade: Throw LPOS outside with the trash.

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==>

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==>

Sollux: Answer Aradia.

==>

==>

==>

==>

0_0

December 29 2010 5088

Doomed Dave gets off the slab. Noir promptly murders him. Terezi grieves.

==>

Doomed Dave: Wake up.

Doomed Dave: Pester Terezi.

==>

==>

==>

==>

Terezi: Abscond.

December 30 2010 5096

Jade peeks at her friends through the space goggles and pesters Dave about Doomed Dave.

Jade: Employ junior compu-sooth spectagoggles.

Jade: View John.

Jade: View Rose.

==>

Jade: View Dave.

Jade: View Davesprite.

==>

Jade: View missing Dave.

Jade: Pester a Dave.

December 31 2010 5105

Jade brings her dead dreamer back as Jadesprite, who flips the fuck out.

At the critical moment, Gamzee watches the ball drop.

Jade: Do what you're about to do.

Jade: Pester Tavros.

==>

Jade: Go upstairs to laboratory.

Jade: Summon dog.

==>

==>

==>

Jade: Say hello.

==>

==>

==>

==>

Elsewhere...

==>

Lab: Drop.

January 1 2011 5121

The lab falls, rolls down the hill, and comes to rest next to a stump of dismay.

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==>

==>

==>

January 2 2011 5125

The author of Homestuck introduces us to the classy Prospitian Ms. Paint.

Recap 3: ACT FIVE SO FAR.

Hivebent; A5A2; John and Karkat; Veilbound; Prospit Karkat; deathnaps; Karkat trolls backwards; auspistice Jade; the biggest meteor; John and Dad; John and Vriska; friends brief John; Jade’s kernel; Becsprite; the oily sea; alpha timeline rigidity; the Windy Thing; the Quest Bed; the Heir of Breath; the Vagabond corked; Rose’s sources; snarky horseshit; the Green Sun; Doc Scratch; The Tumor; baby Dave; LOHACSE; cultural exchange; Caledfwlch; Dave and the Gods; fraymotifs; Terezi offers godhood; Dave refuses; LOFAF; Dave serves Jade; stopping Jack; dreambubbles; Karkat vs. Karkat; Jade enters; dead Feferi; the uranium imp; Tavros and Becquerel; the Quest Cocoon; Vriska’s treachery; Ahab’s Crosshairs; the spectagoggles; Jadesprite; the most important character; the author; the ribbon; the recap.

==>

==>

Lord English: Reveal yourself!!!!!

AH: Don't actually turn out to be LE.

AH: Disrobe.

==>

AH: Retire to study.

AH: Greet Ms. Paint.

AH: Go check out Cal.

AH: Pull up to the old underwood.

AH: Bust out shitty self portrait.

AH: Apply duds.

AH: Begin typing.

Recap 3.

Highlighting all that white text crashed my browser.

January 3 2011 5140

Jadesprite bemoans her resurrection.

==>

==>

==>

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January 4 2011 5144

Jadesprite’s refusal to fight Noir angers Jade.

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==>

==>

==>

==>

January 5 2011 5149

Karkat gets Jade to admit that they have something in common.

==>

Jade: Answer patron troll.

==>

January 6 2011 5152

Karkat delivers a message from Future Jade.

==>

==>

January 7 2011 5154

Serenity slips out of the Vagabond’s station to get help.

The Questant asks the Monarch to take the exiles to a new land. Serenity interrupts, but they do not understand her blinking.

The Renegade starts rigging the mobile stations for demolition.

Jade: Examine 4th wall.

Jade: Turn it off.

==>

==>

WV: Build a fort.

Serenity: Go get help.

WQ: Advise Prospitian Monarch.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Serenity: Blink for help furiously!

==>

AR: Prepare to tidy up.

==>

January 9 2011 5172

In the Vagabond’s sleep, the ring’s animalistic power calls to him in Serenity’s language. For a moment he imagines being a Sovereign Slayer to rival Noir, but then buggy Vriska intrudes on his dream and claims Noir for her own.

WV: Dream.

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January 10 2011 5194

Vriska urges the Vagabond awake.

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January 15 2011 5197

Cinematic 45: MAID OF TIME.

Four hours from the Critical Moment, Dream Feferi communes with the Gods. Bec Noir murders her and Dream Nepeta and engulfs Derse and its moon in the super deadly green shit.

Dream Aradia sleeps on a sacrificial slab deep inside Derse. The green shit claims her, making her soulbot explode.

Having died in her Quest Crypt, Aradia rises up to godhood as the Maid of Time. Noir attacks, and she traps him in a stasis field.

An hour later, Tavros charges Vriska with his lance. She gores him on it and tosses him into the abyss. His corpse lands next to Terezi.

[S] Wake.

Tavros: Land already.

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==>

January 16 2011 5201

Kanaya investigates Rose’s strange blackout.

Jade forces the trolls to talk to her in chronological lockstep.

Kanaya: View Rose.

==>

Kanaya: Contact future Jade.

January 17 2011 5204

Kanaya explains the Space player’s breeding duties and recalls finding the key to her chastity modus.

Kanaya: Contact past Jade.

==>

==>

==>

==>

January 18 2011 5209

Jade appearifies a frog.

==>

Dave: Deploy cloning apparatus.

Jade: Examine.

==>

Dave: Deploy terminal.

==>

Jade: Appearify frog.

January 19 2011 5216

Jade clones a frog. Kanaya tells of the Speaker of the Vast Croak and of her wigglehood visitor.

Jade: Search for a new frog.

Jade: Clone frog.

Jade: Give him a home.

==>

==>

January 22 2011 5221

Minigame 7: VEILBOUND, LEVEL TWO.

Kanaya prepares to go plant the Matriorb.

Interrupting her departure, Eridan returns and asks Feferi to join him in surrendering to Noir. Sollux takes issue and they duel for the second time.

Eridan wins and knocks Sollux out. Feferi attacks. Eridan murders her.

[S] Kanaya: Return to the core.

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==>

January 23 2011 5234

Eridan orbliterates Kanaya’s hope, then murders her and leaves.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Eridan: Abscond.

==>

January 24 2011 5250

Karkat, dismayed, triages the victims. Doc Scratch warns him to watch “the body.”

Gamzee, now more sober than sopored, trolls Karkat and makes psychotic threats.

Karkat: Examine Kanaya.

Karkat: Examine Sollux.

Karkat: Examine Feferi.

Karkat: Examine Kanaya's computer.

Karkat: Highlight.

==>

==>

Karkat: Turn around.

Karkat: Answer.

==>

January 25 2011 5260

Karkat writes one last memo to warn his friends.

Karkat: Open memo.

January 26 2011 5261

Terezi, investigating Tavros’s murder, detects a trace of Vriska’s passage.

==>

Terezi: Examine Tavros.

==>

Terezi: Investigate.

Terezi: Consider suspects.

Terezi: Sniff around for clues.

==>

Terezi: Inspect noise.

Terezi: Deploy forensics crew.

January 27 2011 5270

Terezi steels herself for a corpsesmooch.

Terezi: Draw outline.

Terezi: Dust for prints.

==>

==>

==>

==>

Terezi: Get medical report.

==>

Terezi: Prepare to revive.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

January 28 2011 5284

Karkat, Terezi, and Hussie smooch their corpsefriends.

Karkat and Terezi: Revive.

==>

Rufio: Make him pay.

==>

==>

AH: Revive.

==>

==>

January 30 2011 5292

John and the Villein—now a Wizardly Vassal—find Dad’s wallet.

==>

John: Behold puffy oracle.

John: Snap out of it.

John: Take wallet.

John: Read note.

John: Become overwhelmed with responsibility.

John: Check contents of wallet.

WV?: Inspect windy boy's treasure.

==>

WV?: IMBIBE LIKE THE WIND.

John: Empty wallet.

John: Examine contents.

John: Examine photographs.

John: Examine laptop.

January 31 2011 5306

John and the Vassal go for a ride.

John: Clean up this mess.

==>

John: Get in.

John: Buckle up.

WV?: Follow suit.

WV?: Ride.

John: Just do windy thing already.

John and WV?: Ascend.

WE HAVE.

February 1 2011 5315

John lets the Vassal keep the ring and catches up with Jade.

John: Pester Jade.

==>

==>

==>

February 2 2011 5319

John, hearing from a Karkat in trouble, pesters him back but reaches an earlier, angrier Karkat instead.

==>

Karkat: Contact John.

==>

John: Pester Karkat.

Future Karkat: Retreat into lab.

==>

February 3 2011 5325

Karkat drags Sollux through the lab when a honk spooks him. Their downstairs tumble knocks Sollux’s fang2 out.

Terezi relates Tavros’s murder, but when Karkat replies he only reaches Gamzee.

Karkat asks Equius to help fight the murderers.

==>

==>

Karkat: Answer Terezi.

Karkat: Examine Sollux.

Karkat: Put teeth back in.

Karkat: Contact Equius.

==>

February 4 2011 5332

Terezi returns to the computer room to find one body missing and another bitten on the neck. Her detective skills fall short.

Terezi: Return to computer lab.

Terezi: Sample sauce.

Terezi: Examine horn pile.

Terezi: Examine body.

Terezi: Examine marks.

==>

February 6 2011 5338

Minigame 8: VEILBOUND, LEVEL THREE.

Equius hides Nepeta and leaves to find Gamzee. She wanders out into the ventshafts.

Gamzee indulges Equius’s self-snuff submission fantasy.

[S] Equius: Seek the highb100d.

-->

Gamzee: Subjugglate.

==>

==>

==>

==>

Gamzee: ENGAGE MURDER MODE.

==>

==>

==>

==>

February 7 2011 5350

Gamzee cracks Schrödinger’s Joke.

Nepeta: Pounce.

Gamzee: Turn.

Gamzee: Draw Deuce Clubs from strife deck.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

honk.

HONK.

honk.

HONK.

honk.

February 8 2011 5363

John and the Vassal crash and continue on foot.

==>

John: Take car.

February 9 2011 5365

John searches for Dad while Vriska trolls him about Alternia’s murder-happy ethos.

Karkat, reflecting on the fate of his friends and ancestors, misses Terezi’s message. Sollux wakes.

John: Proceed to castle.

John: Answer.

==>

==>

Terezi: Message Karkat.

Karkat: Examine equipment.

Sollux: Wake up.

February 10 2011 5372

Vriska recalls finding her ancestor’s artifacts.

Sollux trolls Terezi about going blind and losing the voices in his head.

Something bright jumps Terezi.

==>

==>

==>

==>

Sollux: Pester Terezi.

==>

==>

February 11 2011 5379

Aradia plays psychopomp to Doomed Dave’s ghost.

Dave: Resist great urge to play Bro's Xbox.

Dave: Reset.

Dave: Answer.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

February 12 2011 5390

Vriska inspires John to go straight for The Tumor.

==>

==>

==>

John: Prepare to leave castle.

==>

John: 8e cre8tive.

==>

==>

==>

February 13 2011 5399

Mom and Dad take tea on the Battlefield. Noir looms.

The Marquise rel8s her dalliances with Orphaner Dualscar and the enslaved Dolorosa.

Battlefield: Quake.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Vriska: Read Mindfang's journal.

==>

February 14 2011 5408

In the journal: Dualscar has the slave killed.

In the lab: Vriska encounters Eridan.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

February 15 2011 5413

In the journal: Dualscar goes to the Subjugglators, who dispatch the Neophyte.

In the lab: Gamzee joins the showdown. Terezi wakes with bite marks.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

February 16 2011 5420

Cinematic 46: THE RAINBOW DRINKER.

[S] 3x SHOWDOWN COMBO.

February 17 2011 5421

Kanaya, risen from the dead, establishes her superiority over the murderers.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

February 18 2011 5435

Kanaya saws Eridan in half.

==>

==>

==>

Shades: Descend.

February 19 2011 5439

Vriska falls in love with Kanaya’s rowdy, no-nonsense brand of ruffianism.

Having murdered Mom and Dad, Bec Noir indulges for a moment in kill-trophy dress-up.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Be Jack Noir.

Jack: Accessorize immediately.

Jack: Take a prize from the lady.

Jack: Trophy binge.

==>

February 20 2011 5451

Noir discards the trophies, keeping only Lil’ Cal.

==>

==>

February 21 2011 5453

Noir’s Bec attributes prevent him from killing Jade. The Dignitary orders the Droll to do it instead.

Jack: Sniff out new prey.

Jack: Succumb to unfathomable bloodlust.

Jack: Suppress thoughts of unfathomable Snausages.

==>

==>

Jack: Contact DD?.

DD?: Listen to SS?.

DD?: Contact CD?.

CD?: Listen to DD?.

February 22 2011 5462

Noir contemplates an eternity of boredom and then, at Aradia’s hands, experiences it. His impatience gives Aradia a gateway to the Green Sun.

Jack: Wait.

Be future Jack Noir.

Jack: Wait.

Be Aradia.

Aradia: Release him.

==>

==>

==>

February 23 2011 5470

Aradia enters a dream bubble holding one of her doomed soulbot selves, who brought Lil’ Cal and Dad’s wallet to Alternia for pre-death Aradia to find.

==>

==>

==>

Aradia: Enter bubble.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

February 24 2011 5490

Sollux and the doomed Aradia relive their discovery of the blue ruins.

Aradia: Report discovery.

==>

==>

February 25 2011 5493

Jade joins their bubble.

==>

==>

March 1 2011 5495

Kanaya joins the bubble and relives restoring Lil’ Cal. Sollux wakes. Tavros joins the bubble and they relive writing the t1ck t0ck 8r8k H34DS code.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

March 2 2011 5506

Kanaya and Jade wake. Doomed Aradia relates how she brought the honk HONK code to the alpha timeline. Agents of Derse combined these codes with Cal and the oracle to create Doc Scratch.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

March 3 2011 5514

Scratch commandeers the narrative.

Be Scratch.

o

March 4 2011 5516

Scratch receives Spades Slick in his apartment.

o

o

o

o

March 5 2011 5520

Scratch answers Rose.

o

o

o

o

o

o

March 8 2011 5526

Rose pesters Scratch about jokes, pranks, and lies.

Be teenage girl from another universe.

Rose: Pester informant.

March 9 2011 5528

They discuss the scratch.

==>

==>

March 10 2011 5530

They discuss god tier death and Lord English.

==>

==>

March 11 2011 5532

A consort presents Rose with a magic cue ball. The oracle prompts her to answer Jade and see her mother murdered.

==>

Rose: Ask.

==>

==>

Rose: Answer.

==>

March 14 2011 5538

Scratch and Jade question the Horrorterrors’ motives. Rose uses the ball to find out.

Silent film 8: ARE THEY EVIL?

Kanaya loses Rose to the void.

==>

Seer: Ask.

==>

==>

March 15 2011 5542

Rose goes grimdark.

Rose: Go dark.

==>

March 16 2011 5544

Silent film 9: ROSE FLIES.

Rose flies away to find Jack.

The author of Homestuck calls a time out.

Rose: Resist urge to seek revenge.

==>

==>

==>

Big Man: Request time out.

BM: Wreck some havoc.

BM: Request ruler.

==>

==>

==>

March 17 2011 5554

Hussie promises to personally interfere with exactly one yard of the narrative.

Silent film 10: THE TUMOR.

==>

==>

==>

==>

I want to know. Tell me, and please be smug about it.

John: Locate Tumor.

March 18 2011 5560

In the core of the Battlefield, John finds a magic taijitu ball and, carved in the earth, four quest bed symbols.

John: Look around.

==>

John: Look inside.

==>

==>

March 19 2011 5565

John takes The Tumor.

John: Take Tumor.

March 20 2011 5566

Silent film 11: JOHN FLIES.

John: Return to surface.

==>

March 21 2011 5568

John and the Vassal meet Liv and the Droll.

CD?: Approach locals.

March 22 2011 5569

John reads another note from Jake and enlarges Liv’s last remaining weapon to make the Warhammer of Zillyhoo.

John: Reunite with Liv Tyler.

==>

==>

==>

John: Retrieve tiny hammer.

==>

John: Read note.

==>

John: Hugen hammer.

==>

March 23 2011 5579

Cinematic 47: ZILLYHOO.

[S] All: Behold glory of Zillyhoo.

March 24 2011 5580

The Vassal eats Liv’s tasty monstrositifying eye. The Droll gives her a stylish eyepatch and John sends them all off to deliver The Tumor to the Derse dreamers.

==>

==>

John: Wear the hood. Be the leader.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

March 25 2011 5588

Jade fails to pester John. His computer is in Dad’s wallet, which he gave to the Vassal.

John: Bid farewell.

==>

==>

March 27 2011 5591

John follows the grimdarkness.

==>

==>

March 29 2011 5593

Vriska leaves a message with Rose for John.

Minigame 9: BLACK ROSE.

Rose finds John and leads him to their parents’ killer.

John: Approach grimdarkness.

==>

[S] Seer: Descend.

April 2 2011 5596

Cinematic 48: STRIFE WITH JACK.

[S] ==>

April 6 2011 5597

Dave finds Bro’s body. Terezi trolls him about his grief and he literally flies off the handle.

==>

Dave: Answer.

Dave: Break.

==>

==>

==>

April 7 2011 5603

Terezi trolls Dave about justice.

==>

April 9 2011 5604

The Renegade’s passion for law enforcement makes Dave say stupid things.

==>

this atrocity cannot go unpunished.

you call it the slammer when you are extra angry at crimes.

April 10 2011 5607

The Renegade rigs the Bec-head station to blow and makes his farewells.

but only while i am away from my jurisdiction.

i have other duties to attend to.

i must explode this ridiculously illegal edifice.

April 13 2011 5610

Terezi dwells on the necessity of taking Vriska down.

Silent film 12: REMOVE DISC 1.

==>

==>

==>

==>

Exit.

April 15 2011 5615

Terezi stows the Homestuck Portfolio.

==>

Keep playing anyway.

April 16 2011 5617

Cinematic 49: OBJECTION!

Cinematic 50: DROP INN.

[S] Terezi: Proceed.

[S] Terezi: Read note.

April 18 2011 5619

Gamzee fucks with Terezi.

Terezi: Wake up.

Terezi: Examine surroundings.

Terezi: Climb stairs.

Terezi: Exit door.

==>

==>

April 19 2011 5625

Pseudogame 15: PHONOgramz.

[S] Terezi: Play records.

Terezi: Remove Midnight Crew record.

Terezi: Examine cover.

April 20 2011 5628

Cinematic 51: SCRATCH DISC 2.

==>

==>

[S] Terezi: Play tiny record.

==>

Terezi: Captchalogue disc.

April 21 2011 5633

Terezi recovers her Flarping things.

Terezi: Examine chests.

Terezi: Open chest.

Terezi: Wear suit.

Terezi: Open other chest.

Terezi: Hug Pyralspite.

==>

April 23 2011 5639

Terezi reads the note.

==>

Terezi: Look up.

Terezi: Read it.

Terezi: Examine journal entry.

April 27 2011 5643

Silent film 13: INSERT DISC 2.

Insert disc 2.

April 29 2011 5644

Cinematic 52: REDGLARE.

[S] Seer: Ascend.

==>

==>

==>

April 30 2011 5648

Redglare puts Mindfang on trial. Mindfang bends the audience to her will and escapes.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

May 2 2011 5654

Mindfang calls in Darkleer’s debt.

==>

==>

==>

May 5 2011 5657

Mindfang’s oracle tells her of the Summoner.

==>

==>

==>

May 14 2011 5660

Cinematic 53: SCRATCHED HEADS.

[S] Flip.

May 15 2011 5661

Homestuck Disc 2 is too badly scratched to continue playing. We take it to a scratch doctor.

=> =

QÛít„

Vižit dØctor.

May 16 2011 5664

In the narrow fenestrated wall: a view of Doc Scratch’s home.

Doc Scratch welcomes us into his apartment and begins fixing the disc.

[o] Please come in.

[o] Let's have a look at this disc.

[o] But yes, I can fix it.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Both the Seer and the Thief knew this.

May 18 2011 5672

Terezi lets Vriska go.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] It turned out,

[o] So ends a tale of rivalry.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

May 19 2011 5680

Rose fights Noir.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Round Two.

[o] Here we left our human Hero of Light.

May 21 2011 5684

Scratch jokes about Rose’s descent.

[o] Compelling, but not particularly challenging.

[o] Tick.

[o] I warned her.

[o] Tock.

May 25 2011 5688

Later, John brings needles to the Beat Mesa.

[o] Moving on.

[o] This outcome was hardly a point of suspense.

[o] How could this moment later come to pass?

[o] And what sort of spectator would you be...

[o] He'd done nothing to earn martyrdom,

[o] Nor had he tasted notoriety,

May 26 2011 5694

Rose dies.

[o] And while I can't give you my assurance,

[o] But not for lack of a devoted mentor.

[o] Instead, he got her.

May 27 2011 5697

In the narrow fenestrated wall: Scratch receives Slick.

Vriska flies to Noir.

[o] Let's find out.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Bonk.

May 30 2011 5703

Scratch pretzelizes the Horse Hitcher.

Noir absconds, following her trail back to the Veil.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

May 31 2011 5708

Slick stocks up on licorice candy.

Scratch introduces circumstantial simultaneity.

[o] Tock.

[o] Remember?

[o] Of course.

[o] But the story will.

June 1 2011 5712

Scratch answers Rose and opens his scrapbook while Slick prepares arson.

Noir returns, laying his victims at Vriska’s feet.

[o] And now knowing her position,

[o] But not without a pair of trophies.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

June 2 2011 5718

Scratch’s apartment burns.

Vriska fights Noir.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Round two.

[o] The Thief would probably roll her dice.

[o] 8^y

June 4 2011 5723

Matchsticks arrives to put out the fire.

Vriska rolls “Ancestral Awakening,” possibly gaining the advantage.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

June 8 2011 5727

Slick clobbers Matchsticks. Quarters slays Slick.

Terezi’s sight relegates the preceding events to an immaterial offshoot. She lets Vriska “go” instead.

[o] In round two, the Slayer would be not merely compelled,

[o] Tick.

[o] While I continue to not be a gambling man,

[o] Tock.

[o] I wouldn't bet against her.

[o] Moving on.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

June 10 2011 5740

Snowman’s sight relegates the preceding events to an immaterial offshoot.

Having killed Vriska, Terezi embraces Karkat. Kanaya and Sollux join them on the roof. Gamzee brandishes the Warhammer of Zillyhoo.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[o] Honk.

June 12 2011 5748

Snowman gores Quarters before he can kill Slick.

Ambient 2: FINALITY.

[o] Honk.

[o] Tick.

[o] Tock.

[S][o] Tick. Tock.

June 14 2011 5752

Slick and Snowman snog.

John returns from a death judged neither heroic nor just and discovers Vriska’s last message to him.

[o] Stop.

[o] Slick... I am serious. Please stop.

[o] Oh my.

[o] Oh my, oh my, oh my. This will not do at all.

[o] Pardon me while I adjust the narrow fenestrated wall,

[o] To redirect the view from this impropriety. Oh goodness.

June 15 2011 5758

The Forge is lit. Jade and Dave collect frogs in the thaw.

Scratch dismisses Snowman.

Cinematic 54: BAD BREAK.

[o] There.

[o] I am a wonderful chaperone as well as an excellent host.

[S][o] Tick. Tock. Tick...

[o] Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 16 2011 5762

Noir arrives.

Vriska stays dead.

[o] Slick, I can tolerate many things from a guest.

[o] Even atrocious candy bowl etiquette.

June 18 2011 5764

They fight.

Scratch clobbers Slick with the photo album and blows him through the wall. Photos fly everywhere. Slick lands on a rooftop on Alternia’s green moon.

Karkat sends John to LOHAC.

[o] BREAK.

[o] HEADS.

[o] And so on.

[o] You let me down, Slick.

June 19 2011 5768

Noir kills Dave.

Scratch reminds Slick to kill Snowman and gives him the murder weapon.

Karkat trolls John about corpsesmooches.

[o] I thought I could rely on you of all people.

[o] To do what it is you do best.

[o] You are not supposed to kiss her, Mr. Noir.

June 25 2011 5771

The apartment is trashed.

Scratch repairs the priceless timepiece.

Karkat and John make rendezvous plans.

[o] Now leave, and never darken my door again.

[o] Will you look at this mess.

July 2 2011 5773

Scratch cleans up.

A bunch of scenes can be read in any order:

Dave and Rose relive a conversation about his prophetic dream.

Vriska and John meet in a dream bubble. He does not remember her.

Jaspersprite offers Nepeta hope.

Jadesprite finds Davesprite on the Battlefield.

On the Dersite ship, the Droll picks the Vassal’s pocket, stealing Dad’s wallet and The Tumor.

[o] This scrapbook is now in hopeless disarray.

[o] Feel free to examine the clippings while I tidy.

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

July 8 2011 5795

Scratch repairs the photo album.

In any order:

Rose relives knocking Dave out and stealing his suicide mission.

Examining their memories, Vriska and John discover he is a doomed John who did not know her in life.

Davesprite tells how he sought Hephaestus.

Liv intercepts the Droll and steals The Tumor back.

The breeze delivers Dad’s bloodied hat to Nannasprite.

[o] Try to make sense of this mess yourself.

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

July 14 2011 5836

A banging is heard without. Scratch grabs a broom.

The Dignitary interrupts Rose and Dave, popping Dave’s figment and waking him on Derse.

Silent film 14: DAVE FLIES.

Davesprite tells of The Choice Hephaestus offered. Jadesprite sends the Deringer to Derse.

[o] Oh, wonderful. Another interruption.

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

July 15 2011 5849

Doomed John recalls dying.

Ambient 3: TYPHEUS.

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[S][o] ==>

[o] ==>

July 17 2011 5854

fedorafreak, dying, lies on his Quest Bed. Nannasprite tells him a story of her youth.

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

July 18 2011 5857

After reminding the escaping Droll to assassinate Jade, Noir finds and destroys the Vassal’s ship.

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

July 19 2011 5872

Karkat questions Jade’s business with Echidna.

[o]

[o] ==>

July 22 2011 5874

Scratch leaves.

Noir: Bad dog. Worst enemy.

Jade relates the bargain with Echidna that let her find the final frog.

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

July 24 2011 5886

Gamzee raps and flirts with Tavros.

The Vassal’s shipwreck falls into a defense portal, exiling him. Liv takes an escape pod.

[o]

[o] ==>

[o]

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

[o] ==>

July 25 2011 5895

Scratch reaches the source of the banging sound.

Half-ghost Sollux, blind in one eye, joins Aradia at the Green Sun.

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August 2 2011 5902

The banging continues.

Alone and afraid, Karkat laments making Bilious sick.

The Renegade rappels from the Bec-head station. A strand of Red Miles appears in the sky.

Silent film 15: CANCEROUS SLICK.

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August 3 2011 5919

Terezi draws another Cool Kid.

Karkat considers the consequences of his mistake.

Noir turns the Red Miles on the Speaker of the Vast Croak.

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August 6 2011 5927

Gamzee takes revenge on Dave by unleashing the Chucklevoodoos on his universe.

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August 7 2011 5932

Hussie sets up the Yellow Yard between his Fourth Walls. The Handmaid bangs on the Fifth Wall, alerting him to its presence. Scratch shuts off the Wall and gets a chair to the head for his trouble.

The banging stops.

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August 8 2011 5938

The Fifth Wall is cracked.

The Handmaid lets her hair down.

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August 9 2011 5940

Scratch and the Handmaid fight. He threatens her with W. O. O.

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August 11 2011 5950

Scratch tells of the ancestors and their sacrifice. The Handmaid surreptitiously turns the Fifth Wall back on.

Ms. Paint fetches Hussie.

Silent film 16: BEFORUS AND ALTERNIA.

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August 12 2011 5954

Hussie crashes through the Fifth Wall.

The Signless remembers, teaches, and suffers. His followers prepare for the Second Signless.

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August 13 2011 5957

Hussie grabs the discipline broom.

The Dolorosa rears the Signless. The E%ecutor spares the Disciple.

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August 15 2011 5960

Aah! Wolf head!

The Condesce drafts the Ψiioniic. The Vast Glub wipes out their race.

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August 16 2011 5966

╭( `□´)╯ ┻━┻

The Doctor rears the Handmaid.

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August 17 2011 5970

Hussie goes in for the kill.

The Condesce succeeds the Handmaid.

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August 18 2011 5973

Bap.

The Author disciplines the Doctor.

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August 19 2011 5976

Hussie extracts the repaired disc from Doc Scratch’s inanimate puppety torso.

The Handmaid bounds over the green moon’s rooftops while her future self duels the Condesce on the flagship flying overhead.

Her flight for freedom is short-lived, because

HE  IS
ALREADY
HERE.

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August 19 2011 5982

We ollie out of Scratch’s pad, snopping briefly through sbahj.php on our way to normalcy.

SNOP

Unsnop.

August 22 2011 5984

Silent film 17: RESUME DISC 2.

Cinematic 55: PAP SHOOSH.

The Knight of Blood calms the Bard of Rage.

Insert disc 2.

[S] Attempt rare and highly dangerous 5x SHOWDOWN COMBO.

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AH: Close tome.

September 6 2011 5998

Hussie refuses to recap Homestuck.

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October 25 2011 6001

The Droll drops a one-ton Beard Buster bomb on Jade, killing her.

Jade’s Genesis Frog falls into the Forge.

Bec Noir goes ballistic.

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October 25 20116009

END OF ACT 5.

Cinematic 56:

CASCADE.

John completes the scratch on the Beat Mesa, fending off a final onslaught of minions.

Bec Noir, having slain the Droll and taken Dad’s wallet, carries Jade to her Quest Bed and lays her on the slab. Then, to escape the Scratch, he flies into the lotus time capsule in the Mystic Meteor just in time for the reckoning to send the meteor through a Skaian defense portal. On the other side, it smashes into the paleozoic Earth, spawning the Mystic Ruins.

Inside the ruins, the lotus releases the Writ Keeper for a short reunion with the Windswept Questant. The flower then rots and disgorges Noir, who murders them both.

Under a sky wracked by the same Red Miles that Noir would later send into the universe by attacking the Speaker of the Vast Croak who contains Earth, the Aimless Renegade blows up the command stations but hesitates to detonate the one in which the Wayward Vagabond is trapped.

Noir beheads the Renegade, dodges the Prospitian Monarch’s attack, enters the cork station, and impales the Vagabond, pulling the uranium fuel from his gut. He then powers up the station and, using a device the Questant had set to target the time and place where the trolls would claim their Ultimate Reward, transportalizes out of the universe that would be doomed by his own hand, covered now with the Vagabond’s blood.

Discovering the Vagabond mortally wounded, the Monarch drags him out of the station, finds his ring, puts it on, and becomes a Powerful Mutt. She pursues Noir to the troll Incipisphere, carrying the mortally wounded mayor and the firefly with her.

Rose and Dave, having slain the Douche Dag, pilot the moon of Derse through the Furthest Ring to destroy the Green Sun, but at their destination they find nothing at all. Diving into the core of their moon, they open The Tumor in their Quest Crypt and wait for two universes to die.

On Alternia’s green moon, Spades Slick shoots Snowman through the heart, destroying the universe of Alternia. His circumstantially simultaneous counterpart, Bec Noir, tears Bilious Slick apart, destroying the universe of Earth.

Doc Scratch plays Gamzee for a sucker.

Triggered by the destruction of both universes, The Tumor detonates, creating the Green Sun and killing Rose and Dave on their sacrificial slabs.

When the Green Sun’s light reaches the trolls, illuminating a path through the Furthest Ring, Sollux sacrifices himself to propel the meteor along that path.

Rose and Dave rise out of the Green Sun and up to godhood as the Seer of Light and the Knight of Time. There they meet Aradia and half-ghost Sollux.

John hurls the scratched Beat Mesa up into Skaia.

On LOFAF, hummingbirds flock to Jade's body and the posts of her Quest Bed light up. On the Battlefield, Jadesprite rises up to godhood as the Witch of Space. Flexing her new powers, she halts the Reckoning, commandeers a Prospitian battleship, and gathers up the Battlefield and the four planets. On deck with John, Jade pulls out and enlarges the Fourth Wall from Grandpa’s lab and flies the ship crashing through the bottom-left pane. Through the window a rapid time-lapse of earlier Homestuck images plays in reverse, rewinding through the introductions of herself, Rose, and John, culminating in the first page of Homestuck, and fading out.

Tatters and fire.

Curtains.

6010

[S] Cascade.

END OF ACT 5

October 31 2011 6011

INTERMISSION 2.

Cinematic 57:

LORD ENGLISH.

The ultimate virus executes.

Lord English bursts from Doc Scratch’s body, summons his Cairo Overcoat from between Hussie’s fourth walls, and utters the Vast Honk.

[S] Begin intermission 2.

November 2 2011 6012

Curtains.

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