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the acts and pages of

HOMESTUCK

a guide for fans of
the web adventure

documented by

RAFE SALTMAN

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art and excerpts
from homestuck

  © 2009-2016  

ANDREW HUSSIE


Act 1

Act 2

Act 3

Int

Act 4

5–1

5–2

EOA5

6–1

6–2

6–3

6–4

6–5

6–6

Act 7


Part 1 log


Part 2 log


Part 3 log

Act 2 thumbnail

ACT 2

Raise of the Conductors Baton

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

first page 2148, June 9 2009 pages 511
last page 2658, October 11 2009 words in text 23 496
recap 3574, April 15 2010 words in media 8517
adventure map checkpoints

Page 2148  Page 2209 Page 2288 Page 2322 Page 2359 Page 2395
Page 2433 Page 2507 Page 2535 Page 2565 Page 2621

SYNOPSIS
the medium

John narrowly escapes fiery death by meteor impact. When he bites the blue apple he made, he and his house are moved to the Medium. The house now stands on a column of rock jutting through the clouds of a dark land. The harlequin kernelsprite hatches, producing two images of the kernel that fly away, one downwards and one upwards, and a ghostly sprite that stays next to John. A voice in John’s head begins to boss him around.

The voice belongs to the Wayward Vagabond, a black-shelled creature wandering the dry wasteland of future Earth, who discovers a refuge filled with science equipment including a monitor of John’s progress in the Medium. Using the attached keyboard, the Vagabond tries to give John orders. His commands intrude on John’s thoughts as if the monitor were a text adventure interface.

rose and dave

Rose Lalonde continues to play as John’s server, posting her progress to a GameFAQs walkthrough. To enter the game herself, Rose needs someone to be her server player. Her first plan is to get John’s server copy out of his Dad’s car so that John can reciprocate, but her laptop loses power and she drops the car into the abyss that surrounds John’s house.

Their friend Dave Strider loses his own Sburb discs when he carelessly impales an unruly crow on his sword, launching the bird and discs out of his high-rise window. When John asks Dave to be Rose’s server player, Dave sets off to find his Bro’s client and server discs.

Meteors rain down around Dave and Rose’s homes, starting sick fires that no driving rain can assuage.

After fighting her drunk mother, Rose retreats to the tomb of her cat Jaspers, where a portable generator is the last remaining power source at her house. Sheltered briefly from the encroaching forest fire, Rose reconnects. She finds John speaking to his sprite, which is now prototyped a second time after absorbing his Nanna’s ashes. It looks like a ghost of Nanna in harlequin costume.

upwards

Nannasprite explains that far overhead, at the centre of the Medium, there is a world called Skaia where forces of light and darkness, shaped by the players’ kernel prototyping choices, wage eternal war. This sets the stage for the adventure John is about to have, which the float hag calls “The Ultimate Riddle”.

Rose’s new task is to modify John’s house to help him reach the First Gate, a portal to the next stage of his adventure. Meanwhile, John must battle harlequin-garbed imps like the ones that have kidnapped his father. The imps and other baddies drop raw materials when they die. Rose and John can use these materials for building or for punch card alchemy. In between his skirmishes with the oily creatures, John experiments with the alchemy machines.

When the forest fire encircles Jasper’s tomb, cutting Rose’s connection, John is left to face his first boss battle without her help. Mom remotely opens a secret passage under the tomb to help Rose to safety.

Failing to find Bro or his copies in the apartment, Dave arms for battle. A note from Bro summons him to the rooftop for a duel.

In the command station, the famished Wayward Vagabond finds canned food (but no opener) and unthinkingly eats a bunch of inedibles including a lump of uranium fuel. After indulging in fancies of civic life as the Mayor of Can Town and locking himself out of the terminal, the Vagabond finds an appearifier, a device that summons objects from elsewhere in time and space. He uses it to release a firefly from its amber prison. Then the station blasts off, flies around the world, and lands a continent and (evaporated) ocean westward at the site of some mysterious froggy ruins.

ACT 2 BY DATE POSTED
datepagescenes and eventsadventure log
June 9 2009 2148

ACT 2.

A Wayward Vagabond records a stuttering step in the sun-bleached dust.

Years in the future, but not many...

June 10 2009 2149

Rose writes a GameFAQs walkthrough.

ACT 2 ==>

June 11 2009 2150

Cinematic 8: THE MEDIUM.

[S] ==>

June 12 2009 2151

Silent film 3: THE KERNEL HATCHES.

==>

BOY.

June 13 2009 2153

Minigame 1: THE HOUSE.

[S] YOU THERE. BOY.

June 15 2009 2154

Rose pesters John about the meteor strike.

BOY, QUIT ALL THIS SCURRYING AROUND.

FINE. JOHN. RETURN TO YOUR QUARTERS.

NOW JOHN. RESPOND TO YOUR FRIEND UNIT.

June 16 2009 2157

They retrieve the PDA.

Who is this voice in John’s head?

FIRST, TAKE THE FABRIC ITEM ON THE FLOOR THERE.

DO AS THE PURPLE TEXT SAYS. TO THE BALCONY.

WAIT. TAKE THAT. THE BLUE WOBBLY THING.

JOHN. RECYCLE THE GRIST AS WAS DICTATED BY YOUR COHORT.

I SEE. ==>?

==>

JOHN RUN ACROSS PRECARIOUS PLATFORM SWIFTLY.

BOY I SAID MAKE HASTE ON THE NARROW CATWALK!

FINE. PROCEED AS YOUR LEVEL OF COMFORT DICTATES.

NOW TAKE IT.

==>==>

THESE BORING MEN ARE UNINTERESTING.

NO DON'T DO THAT. HOP OFF THIS LEDGE ON TO THAT CAR.

==>==>==>==>==>

June 17 2009 2171

It’s the Vagabond. He has found a station with a console monitoring John’s progress.

Years in the future, but not many...

June 18 2009 2172

Rose explains punch card alchemy in her walkthrough.

==>

June 19 2009 2173

Rose considers her next move.

==>

Rose: Check status of battery.

June 20 2009 2175

The harlequin sprite thwarts Rose and John’s attempts at tier 2 prototyping, absorbing Nanna’s ashes instead.

Rose: Prototype sprite with Betty Crocker box.

==>

DO THE POTTED VEGETABLE INSTEAD. IT LOOKS DELICIOUS.

Rose: Prototype sprite with Sassacre text.

JOHN FLAIL ABOUT IN A DISTRACTING MANNER.

==>

==>

INSPECT HAG ASH INCIDENT.

Rose: Remove cruxtruder from doorway.

DO AGAIN AS PURPLE WORDS SAY.

==>

June 22 2009 2186

Dave pesters John about Armageddon.

Rose drops the car mid-lift when her laptop loses power. It plummets into the abyss, parking illegally somewhere under the clouds.

IGNORE THIS WOMAN'S ANTICS.

INDULGE THE DEVICE. BUT BE CURT WITH IT.

ENOUGH STRANGE POETRY FROM THE RED TEXT.

THE PURPLE TEXT IS LESS IRRATIONAL THAN THE RED TEXT.

Rose: Pick up car.

==>

June 23 2009 2192

Jade’s dreambot pesters John about meteors.

John sends Dave to get a copy of Sburb.

RIDICULOUS FOLLY. INEXCUSABLE.

WHAT COLOR ARE THE WORDS THAT THIS CHUM SAYS?

THE GREEN TEXT WAS ATTRACTIVE. NOW VIEW THE RED TEXT AGAIN.

==>

June 24 2009 2196

Rose selects the Needlekind Specibus.

Rose: Knit laptop cozy to shield your laptop from the rain.

Rose: Equip grimoire to strife specibus.

Rose: Recaptchalogue your items!

Rose: Allocate knitting needles to strife specibus.

==>

June 25 2009 2201

Rose consults the Grimoire.

Rose: Knit plush cuddle-cthulhu to soothe nerves.

Rose: Consult the grimoire.

==>

==>

==>

Rose: Take items and proceed downstairs.

June 26 2009 2207

Cinematic 9: SYMPHONY IMPOSSIBLE TO PLAY.

[S] ==>

June 29 2009 2208

Who is this cool kid?

Rose: Confront mother in hall.

What??

Enter name.

Try again.

Examine room.

June 30 2009 2213

Dave Strider examines his room.

Dave: Quickly retrieve arms from cinderblocks.

Dave: Get the damn beta and save your friend's life!

Dave: Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.

==>

Dave: Examine closet.

Dave: Check the blue box.

Dave: Take box.

July 1 2009 2220

Dave finds apple juice in his closet.

Dave: Examine jar of unknown yellow substance in the closet.

Dave: Take juice.

July 2 2009 2222

Dave pesters John about loot and apple juice.

Dave: Access Pesterchum and pester John.

==>

==>

July 3 2009 2225

Dave browses the web. Rose pesters him about hero worship and Sburb.

Later that day: John investigates a trail of crude.

Minigame 2: DAVE’S MIXER.

Dave: Go online and view sites indicative of your interests.

==>

Dave: Check the latest page of the Midnight Crew.

Midnight Crew.

Use Occam's Razor on plans and schemes.

SS: Climb ladder and exit hideout. Implement nefarious plots

Dave: Skip ahead a hundred pages or so.

Dave: Save your place, read it later.

Dave: Answer chum.

JOHN WHAT ARE YOU DOING. STOP DOING NOTHING.

==> ??

TROUBLING. INVESTIGATE THIS.

Dave: Play some hauntingly sick beats.

[S] ==>

July 5 2009 2239

Dave spills the apple juice on his turntables and Sburb copies.

Dave: Take sip of the apple juice, despite what John said.

==>

==>

Dave: Allocate sword to strife specibus.

Dave: Captchalogue sword.

July 6 2009 2244

Dave finds a towel.

Dave: Get a towel or something!

==>

July 7 2009 2246

Dave mops up the juice and hangs the betas to dry.

Dave: Captchalogue damp towel.

Dave: Search the bathroom for something slightly less damp.

Dave: Take towel.

Dave: Clean up the juice.

==>

July 8 2009 2251

A rambunctious crow nabs the Sburb packages. Dave launches a sword, impaling the bird. It goes crashing out the window, still clutching the betas.

Dave: Turn off the fan.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

July 9 2009 2257

Later that day: Rose detests Zazzerpan the Learned.

Dave: Look out window.

==>

==>

July 11 2009 2260

Rose examines the living room.

Rose: Psychoanalyze mother's love of wizards.

Rose: Go downstairs to the kitchen back door.

Rose: View Mother's solid copper vacuum statue.

Rose: Grab the Eldritch Princess.

Rose: Acquire umbrella for protection from elements.

July 12 2009 2265

Rose examines the kitchen.

Rose: Peek inside kitchen.

Rose: Investigate richly colored object in middle of screen.

==>

==>

==>

July 13 2009 2270

Rose considers her next move. Mom surprises her.

Rose: Attach a W to face as a fake moustache.

Rose: Captchalogue W.

==>

Rose: Think of ways to one-up mother.

Rose: Captchalogue velvet pillow.

==>

Rose: Head out the back door.

==>

July 15 2009 2278

Youth Roll!

Rose: Hop over counter, landing in a roll.

==>

==>

July 16 2009 2281

Earlier: Jade pesters Dave about birthday presents.

Later: Dave pesters John about monsters.

Meanwhile, in the past again.

Dave: Answer chum.

Dave: Get phone.

==>

JOHN, PURSUE ADVERSARY INTO THAT ROOM.

THIS CHUM WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

READ YOUR BOOK. STAY WARY OF THESE FOES.

July 19 2009 2288

Pseudogame 3: STRIFE WITH MOM.

[S] Rose: Youth roll right out the front door.

July 20 2009 2289

Rose pats the stupid pony.

John reads the Data Structures book.

==>

Rose: First, be the pony. Second, trample Mom.

JOHN TURN AROUND!!!!!

July 22 2009 2292

Pseudogame 4: STRIFE WITH THE SHALE IMP, ROUND 1.

==>!!!

[S] ==>==>==>!!!!!!!!!

July 23 2009 2294

Rose leaves the house.

Pseudogame 5: STRIFE WITH THE SHALE IMP, ROUND 2.

Rose: Exit.

Rose: Use umbrella.

==>

[S] GET UP JOHN, THIS IS NO TIME FOR SLUMBER.

July 24 2009 2298

Rose braves the elements.

Rose: Forget the W and make haste to the mausoleum.

==>

July 25 2009 2300

Pseudogame 6: STRIFE WITH THE SHALE IMP, FINAL ROUND.

[S] JOHN, SALVAGE YOUR WEAPON AND FIGHT ON!

July 26 2009 2301

John exults with the bunny.

YOU SAID

PUT THE BUNNY

BACK IN

THE BOX!!!!!!

July 27 2009 2305

John levels up and adds Bunnykind to his strife portfolio.

NOW EXULT. VICTORY, SPOILS ARE YOURS.

==>

WHAT ABOUT THAT CARD.

OK.

July 28 2009 2309

John repairs his Hammerkind abstratus.

Rose makes a mess in the tomb.

GATHER THE SCATTERED BITS OF YOUR LARGE HAMMER.

NOW REPAIR THE HAMMER.

FINE. NOW WHAT

==>

Rose: Hurry and activate the generator!

Rose: Defile tomb.

July 29 2009 2315

Nannasprite pranks John.

Ambient 1: PRANKSTER’S GAMBIT.

Rose: Plug in your laptop.

THE DOOR, JOHN. LOOK AT THE DOOR.

INCREDIBLY ALARMING. INVESTIGATE.

[S] WHAT THIS IS SO OUTRAGEOUS

July 30 2009 2319

Dave pesters Rose about his bro’s unnerving puppets.

Rose: Pester John.

July 31 2009 2320

Nannasprite explains to John where he is now.

INTERROGATE THIS MADWOMAN.

==>

August 1 2009 2322

Cinematic 10: SKAIA.

Silent film 4: STALEMATE.

[S] GO ON. ==>

==>

August 2 2009 2324

Silent film 5: THE GAME IS AFOOT.

Nannasprite poses "The Ultimate Riddle" and drifts away to bake cookies.

ME?? ==>

A QUEST OF FUTILITY THEN. ==>

==>!

==>?

YES I WILL HAVE TO AGREE WITH THE FLOAT HAG ABOUT THAT.

THE HAG MENTIONED COOKIES. PURSUE HER.

JOHN YOU DO NOT SAY NO TO COOKIES. I COMMAND YOU TO GET THEM

August 3 2009 2331

The Vagabond’s tactless harangue gives John a fit.

Rose takes no sass from dead cats.

Rose: Hit John in the head with box to get his attention.

==>

==>

August 4 2009 2334

The Vagabond unlocks a pantry in his station, releasing canned food and a book of etiquette.

Rose writes about prototyping.

JOHN. COOKIES. NOW.

THIS IMPUDENCE IS INSUFFERABLE. GO GET THE COOKIES!!!!!!

JOHN YOU ARE STUPID.

STUPID STUPID DUMB

FOR THE LAST TIME I COMMAnd you to get the cookies boy

Years in the future...

==>

August 5 2009 2341

Months prior: Jade pesters Rose about necromancy.

Months in the past, but not many...

==>

August 7 2009 2343

Cinematic 11: THIS SICK HEAT.

Dave: Get katana.

[S] Dave: Retrieve dead bird.

Dave: Exit your room, and go into the living room.

August 9 2009 2346

Dave ventures into Bro’s domain.

Dave: Hastily enter the room with wild abandon.

==>

Dave: Pity da fool.

Dave: Find Lil' Cal and give fistbumps.

Dave: Play a game on the Xbox.

==>

Dave: Resist great urge to play Bro's Xbox.

Dave: Give Lil' Cal a bro fistbump.

==>

Dave: Check out your BRO's sweet gear.

August 10 2009 2356

Dave gets on Bro’s computer.

Dave: Look at your brother's computer.

==>

Dave: Open Complete Bullshit.

August 11 2009 2359

Dave checks Complete Bullshit.

Dave: Check if Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff has a sweet update.

August 12 2009 2360

Bro’s puppets and smuppets unsettle Dave.

Dave: Mouse over the orange stripe containing PlushRump.

Dave: Stop wasting time and look for Bro's beta.

==>

==>

Dave: Give Lil Cal a nervous fist bump.

==>

August 13 2009 2366

Rose deploys the Punch Designix for John.

Dave: Pester John to ease your nerves.

==>

==>

Dave: Pester Rose.

Seconds in the future, but not many...

Rose: Deploy the Punch Designix.

August 14 2009 2372

John assesses the imp situation.

==>

==>

John: Rebuild the claw hammer and return it to specibus.

John: Confront Pogo Ride to prepare yourself for Nanna.

August 15 2009 2376

Minigame 3: POGO RIDE.

[S] ==>

Rose: Drop something heavy on one of those imps.

==>

Rose: Use pogo ride to fling grist through window.

==>

Rose: Drop pogo ride in John's bathroom.

John: Get grist.

Piano: Level up for slaying the imp.

August 16 2009 2384

Rose builds John’s house upwards.

Rose: It's time to build.

==>

Rose: Use build grist to construct observation tower on roof

John: Check cabinets for imps or useful items.

John: Bring 2 cans of shaving cream.

John: Ride pogo ride.

==>

Rose: Check up on Nannaquin, see what's cookin'!

==>

August 17 2009 2393

John charges into glorious battle.

John: Make your way to the study.

==>

John: Ride Slimer pogo and one-up that imp.

John: Ride your steed to victory.

==>

August 18 2009 2398

John falls and absconds to the study. Rose buys him time with a well-placed refrigerator.

John: Flip the fuck out.

==>

mister john, respectfully ask that you please stand up.

now sir boy, flee from this boorish rabble post haste.

==>

August 19 2009 2403

The Vagabond, having gorged on the wisdom of Human Etiquette, returns with a polite request for John.

Rose drops the safe through the roof.

Refrigerator: Level up for slaying the imp.

well done, john. polite congratulations.

now my civil fellow, i have a well mannered query to ask

Rose: Drop something heavy on one of those imps.

john might i bother you for a can opener?

==>

Years in the future...

August 20 2009 2410

Rose adds screenshots to her walkthrough.

==>

August 21 2009 2411

Rose babysits John through another exile-induced fit.

Rose: Construct loft above John's room.

==>

==>

fellow john, it appears we have reached an impasse

the opener dilemma remains unsettled, most unfortunately

but it has been a pleasure nonetheless.

oh, but thank you

thank you so very very much, dear favorable small primate

i shall take my leave now john. until next time

August 22 2009 2420

Dave pesters Rose about fluffy muppet buttock.

John examines the Punch Designix.

John: Gather grist, examine designix.

==>

Rose: Answer Dave.

John: Observe back of the first visible captchalogue card.

John: Examine reverse side of hammer card in strife specibus

August 23 2009 2425

John learns how to turn captcha codes into punched cards.

John: Enter captcha code as seen on back of pogo ride card.

John: Insert card.

John: Type in nZ7Un6BI

John: Attempt to retrieve pogo from card.

John: Mash keys heedlessly.

==>

==>

==>

August 24 2009 2433

Rose learns how to turn heavy objects into punched houses.

==>

==>

==>

==>

John: Answer your chums.

August 25 2009 2438

John pesters Rose about shitty stairs and his father’s bedroom.

==>

==>

Rose: Move punched cards to John's room.

Rose: Drag some cruxite dowels up to John's room.

August 27 2009 2442

John examines the safe, finding an old Sassacre’s. He punches the code for a captchalogue card onto a captchalogued captchalogue card.

John: Collect grist, examine safe.

John: Examine family tome of humour.

John: Examine contents of safe.

==>

John: Look at the piece of paper taped to the wall.

John: Turn the card over.

John: Examine back of captchalogue card on floor.

John: Captchalogue the card.

John: Enter code on back of card into designix.

John: Punch card.

John: Throw hat down in disgust.

August 28 2009 2453

John flails about with his newly diminished sylladex and levels up after crushing a hapless imp.

John: Captchalogue punched captchalogued captchalogue card.

John: Take PDA.

John: Level up!

August 29 2009 2456

John tackles the precarious stairs.

Dave knows the drill with Bro.

Colonel Sassacre: Level up for slaying the imp.

Bathtub: Level up for slaying the imp.

Safe: Level up for slaying the imp.

John: Make your way up those stairs, posthaste.

==>

==>

Dave: Ignore Lil Cal and find the beta.

August 31 2009 2463

Dave reads the Muppet Babies comic and loses patience with Bro’s ironies.

Dave: Take expensive ninja sword.

Dave: Exit your bro's room.

==>

==>

September 1 2009 2467

Dave examines the kitchen. It is littered with awesome dangerous stuff.

Dave: Go into the kitchen.

September 2 2009 2468

Dave unwittingly stars in Bro’s grisly puppet snuff film.

Dave: Transfer katana to strife specibus.

Dave: Set Blender to "Mix".

==>

==>

Dave: Captchalogue Buster Sword from behind microwave.

Dave: Set blender to "Crush Ice".

Dave: Hide evidence in microwave.

September 3 2009 2475

Dave recklessly weaponizes his sylladex.

Dave: Grab those fireworks.

Dave: Captchalogue Shurikens.

==>

Dave: Take nunchaku.

==>

==>

September 4 2009 2481

Dave examines his hash function fetch modus.

Dave: Captchalogue each shuriken individually.

Dave: Captchalogue nunchucks.

Dave: Examine fetch modus.

Dave: Press EJECT button.

Dave: Change to Scrabble Points Hash Modus.

Dave: Check the box "detect collisions".

September 5 2009 2487

Dave gives his objects ridiculous names to shoehorn them into his sylladex.

Dave: Take the skateboard.

==>

==>

Dave: Captchalogue the unplugged powercord.

Dave: Think of a new word for powercord.

==>

==>

September 6 2009 2494

Dave wraps up his kitchen activities.

Dave: Search for some MAD SNACKS YO.

Dave: Open refrigerator.

Dave: Take swords.

Dave: Use ice maker, it's still hot around here.

==>

==>

Dave: Captchalogue CHERRY BOMBS.

Dave: Take blender.

Dave: Activate garbage disposal.

Dave: Stuff down mr. purple guy into the garbage disposal.

==>

Dave: Look up.

Dave: Use the turntables and cinderblocks to make a fort.

September 7 2009 2507

Dave falls for the smuppet trap.

Dave: Yank cord.

==>

==>

==>

==>

September 8 2009 2512

Bro summons Dave to the roof.

Dave: Read the note on the hatch.

Dave: Burst out of the puppet pile like "the one".

Dave: Be the other guy.

September 9 2009 2515

Rose puts the kibosh on John’s self-indulgent tent-making nonsense.

John: Take dowels and sheets from bed and make a tent.

==>

September 10 2009 2517

John and Rose alchemize items from their punch cards.

John: Carve a totem of the punched pogo card.

John: Repeat process with other cards and dowels.

John: Do same thing with captchalogued captchalogue card.

Rose: Collect totems.

Rose: Produce captchalogue card.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

September 11 2009 2527

Reading "Wise Guy" inspires John to carve a totem from overlapping punch cards. He makes the Pogo Hammer.

John: Collect cards.

John: Turn on "detect collisions".

John: Read book. Be the wise guy.

==>

==>

John: Put both cards in totem lathe.

John: Take it to the alchemiter.

==>

==>

September 13 2009 2536

John tries out his new weapon.

John: Practice with new weapon.

September 14 2009 2537

John bounces up to the roof. Rose moves his bed up there to break his fall.

Cinematic 12: JOHN SLEEPS.

John: Attack the nearest imp to test pogo hammer's strength.

==>

==>

==>

==>

==>

Rose: Pester John.

[S] John: Sleep.

September 15 2009 2545

Rose thinks of sending John the captcha for Sburb Server, but it is indecipherable.

Also, her laptop dies again.

Rose: Check Alchemy Excursus.

Rose: Captchalogue Sburb Server CD.

Rose: Message John the Captcha code.

==>

==>

==>

September 17 2009 2551

Cinematic 13: JOHN WAKES.

Jade pesters John about another kind of waking.

[S] John: Wake up.

==>

September 18 2009 2553

A pair of Crude Ogres climb the house.

John: Quickly grab the pogo hammer.

==>

==>

John: Be the imp.

John: Prepare for a boss battle.

==>

==>

September 19 2009 2560

John prepares for a boss battle.

John: Ascend to the highest point of the house.

John: Look down.

==>

John: Turn around...

September 21 2009 2564

Cinematic 14: DAVE ASCENDS.

The Vagabond makes a moldy pumpkin disappear.

Dave: Stop being the other guy.

[S] Dave: Ascend to the highest point of the building.

==>

WV: Retri...

WV: Examine rotten pumpkin.

September 22 2009 2569

The Vagabond cannot open the canned food and does not have a sylladex. He does have a bar code, however.

WV: Check the little red bar.

WV: Captchalogue can of gravy.

WV: Pick up the can of gravy. Just pick it up.

WV: Use sharp teeth to poke a hole in the lid of the can.

WV: Attempt to open can with your weak pathetic digits.

WV: Take the can labeled BEANS.

WV: Examine can of custard.

WV: Examine marking on wrist.

==>

WV: Examine the small potted plant.

September 23 2009 2579

The Vagabond reviews Human Etiquette.

WV: Check book on Human Etiquette.

==>

September 24 2009 2581

The Vagabond presides over Can Town and eats various inedible substances including a chunk of uranium fuel.

WV: Clear out all the cans inside the purple machine.

WV: Search room for can opener.

WV: Locate a nearby sharp object.

WV: Be the imp.

WV: Become the mayor of Can Town.

==>

==>

WV: Explore west of Can Town.

WV: Use glowing green rock to open cans.

WV: Examine box of crayons.

==>

WV: Try to open the storage box.

WV: Examine contents of yellow container.

WV: Rescue that poor lightning bug.

==>

September 25 2009 2596

The Vagabond draws a chess board on the floor.

WV: Use the chalk to draw some roads.

WV: Lay a chalk foundation for Can Town's civic growth.

September 26 2009 2598

The Vagabond completes his mayoral sash.

WV: Use your own pee for the commercial zones.

WV: Use motor oil to designate commercial zones.

WV: Peel label from can of MAYO and affix to sash.

September 27 2009 2601

The Vagabond draws the Incipisphere on the walls.

WV: Survey surroundings in search of more terrain for city.

==>

==>

==>

WV: Check that rampaging boy on the screen.

WV: Turn on the other 3 screens.

September 28 2009 2607

The Vagabond discovers the station’s other pantry. It is full of TAB sugar-free cola.

WV: Press Tab.

==>

==>

September 29 2009 2610

The Vagabond slakes his thirst, welcomes the pop cans to Can Town, and returns to the terminal.

WV: Consume several cans.

WV: Welcome the rest into the city.

WV: Hit escape.

==>

==>

WV: Type => SWITCH 2.

WV: Type => SWITCH 3.

WV: Type => HOME.

September 30 2009 2618

The Vagabond locks himself out of the terminal and returns to his chess recreation.

WV: Type => REBOOT.

WV: Be the mayor.

WV: Create employment opportunities for the citizen cans.

October 1 2009 2621

Cinematic 15: TO VICTORY!

[S] WV: Lead your men to victory!

October 2 2009 2622

A Peregrine Mendicant trundles precious cargo.

The station locks the Vagabond out of the Client Room.

WV: Mourn the loss of citizen tab.

Minutes in the future...

WV: Go outside and get some sun.

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October 3 2009 2628

The Server Room is also locked. The Vagabond enters the Appearifier Room instead and appearifies the Bec-head pumpkin.

WV: Curiously prod the funny-looking spirograph.

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WV: Select the triangley fractal.

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WV: Attach your trusty knife to the meter stick.

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WV: Look at the other wall.

WV: Press the triangle pattern.

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October 4 2009 2639

After deciphering the machine’s coordinate system, the Vagabond appearifies his belongings from the Client Room.

WV: Examine pumpkin.

WV: Devour pumpkin.

WV: Inspect green buttons.

WV: Press green button on right.

WV: Fiddle with the dials.

WV: Appearify your trusty knife.

WV: Appearify Can Town.

October 5 2009 2646

The Vagabond releases Serenity from the amber and tests the Appearifier on a paradox subject.

WV: Deappearify the pumpkin.

WV: Use trusty knife to carve spook schema in pumpkin.

WV: Move spirograph switch.

WV: Appearify firefly out of the amber.

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WV: Adjust time dial to appearify rotten pumpkin.

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WV: Appearify the grate over the entrance to the facility.

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October 9 2009 2655

Cinematic 16: HASTEN TO THE EXIT!

[S] WV: Hasten to the exit post-haste!

October 11 2009 2656

Cinematic 17: FIVE TIMES CLIFFHANGER COMBO.

The Vagabond’s command station takes off and flies around the world. A continent westward, the Mendicant discovers the apple station. An ocean westward still, the Mystic Ruins arise on paleozoic Earth.

A forest fire threatens Rose’s refuge. Mom activates a secret passage.

Dad escapes from the imps. Dave and Bro face off.

The Vagabond’s station lands at the Mystic Ruins.

Curtains.

oh wait

[S] WV: Ascend.

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