Homestuck Part 3

Act 6 Act 1.

Cinematic 58: Hard Reset.

Who is this young lady, and who is this dashing fella?

Jane Crocker examines her room.

Jane waits for the mail. Jake pesters her about Dirk.

Crockercorp adopts a more imperious iconography. Jane’s spoon becomes a fork.

Calliope cheers Jane about the game they will play.

Jane wears the Tiaratop.

Roxy pesters Jane about Jake’s upcoming birthday. Jane disguises herself for an illicit outing.

Jake English examines his room.

Jake runs out of uranium fuel.

Calliope cheers Jake about finishing the bunny.

Jake pesters Auto Responder for uranium.

Auto Responder pesters Jake about Brobot.

Jane finds herself homestuck.

Jane reads the note in Poppop’s old Sassacre’s.

Jane tells Jake how she woke on Prospit and saw Dream Jake’s funeral.

They return to their missions.

Jake leaves the house.

Roxy pesters Jake about playing into the batterwitch’s hands.

Jake confronts his island’s frightening fauna. Brobot lurks.

Jane summons Lil’ Sebastian.

Jake examines his island.

An Old Goat surfaces.

Dirk pesters Jane about his robotic avatars.

They talk about their ancestors.

Lil Seb lifts the fridge.

Lil Seb drops the fridge.

The Old Goat chases Jake.

Cinematic 59: Bleat.

Brobot slays the Old Goat.

Cinematic 60: Heiressassination.

Curtains.

Hussiebot assembles the Act 6 curtains.

John and Jade receive the Gift of Gab.

Act 6 Intermission 1.

Jade explains her space powers.

Jade explains Rose and Dave’s true mission.

Bec Noir loves and fears the Monarch.

Noir chases after the meteor.

Serenity pleads for the dying Mayor.

Karkat, Gamzee, Terezi, and Kanaya meet Aradia, half-ghost Sollux, Dave, and Rose at the Green Sun.

John declines Jade’s offer to send him to the trolls.

John, Jade, and Davesprite send the trolls a letter.

Dave and Rose receive the Gift of Gab.

Aradia breaks the ice.

Karkat flips out.

They discuss leadership and the path to the new session.

Gamzee steals the bodies. John’s letter arrives.

John, Jade and Davesprite send their love.

Cinematic 61: Buckets.

Bonus Cinematic: Dark Cage One.

The Monarch sends Serenity and the Vagabond to the trolls.

Silent film 18: The Meteor Flies.

Cinematic 62: Curtains and Clouds.

Dream Jane witnesses a Skaian eclipse.

Jack Noir assassinates Dream Jane and escapes to Derse. It doesn’t stick.

Act 6 Act 2.

GCat ports Jane to safety. Dad permagrounds her.

Jane’s skepticism wanes. Contrite, she offers to believe anything Roxy says.

Roxy appearifies the Sassacre’s.

Bored with Dirk’s magical pony masterpiece, Jane runs Roxy’s explosive trojan.

Dirk pesters Jane about the situation on Derse.

Lil Seb installs Sburb on Dad’s computer.

Dirk serves Jane.

Who is this tipsy lady, and who is this max chill dude?

Roxy Lalonde examines her room.

Silent film 19: Roxy Sleeps.

Cinematic 63: Roxy Drifts.

Dirk pesters Roxy about her sleepwalking.

They discuss insane stunts.

Auto Responder reveals Dirk’s designs on Jake.

Roxy crushes Frigglish with a tome of monumental proportions.

Roxy jumps to the observatory.

Calliope cheers Roxy about claspect.

Silent film 20: The Void.

Dirk Strider examines his room.

Dirk examines his tech-hop hashrap modus.

Dream Dirk reads the news.

Pseudogame 17: Strife with Squarewave.

Dream Dirk slays the Brute.

Auto Responder pesters Dirk about the Jane and Jake things.

Dirk serves Jane.

Dirk hands the reins to Auto Responder.

Calliope cheers Dirk about claspect.

Silent film 21: Egress.

Roxy urges Jane to make a move on Jake.

Cinematic 64: Your Shit is Wrecked.

Jake faints.

Jake sees Aranea in the void.

Waking, Jake pesters Roxy and Jane about the Jakestakes.

Jane throws a fit of bashful insincerity.

Brobot rips its own uranium heart out.

Jack returns to kill Dream Jane again.

The White Queen drops him before he gets the chance.

Roxy visits the hubgrid.

Roxy acquires Mom’s scarf and paradox slime and sends Frigglish’s body back to Rose.

Cinematic 65: Trace Frigglish.

Bonus Cinematic: Nano Neigh.

The carapacians come hunting for cats.

GCat teleports Roxy’s plane to Dirk. Roxy jumps in the other side and is stranded in the void.

Roxy lands in Meenah’s dream bubble.

Meenah attacks.

Caliborn jeers Dirk about useless puzzles.

Caliborn explains jujus.

Roxy escapes from the ghost, the void, and the lab.

Jane prepares to enter the Medium.

Cinematic 66: The Condescension.

Curtains.

Act 6 Intermission 2.

Hussie tries to nurse Slick.

Ms. Paint makes licorice soup.

Lrd English arrives.

A year has passed on the meteor.

Karkat trolls himself about mortality and boredom.

An offshoot god-tier ghost Feferi heals the Mayor.

Dave and Terezi play Can Town.

Rose and Kanaya do research.

Rose shares her findings on the void session they created.

The Droll demolishes the new session’s unprototyped Battlefield and Kings.

The Scratch makes Skaia switch the ectobabies’ destinations.

Karkat tries to time-share Terezi with Dave.

They fight.

Hup.

A year has passed on the battleship.

John, Jade, and friends play the Ghostbusters II MMORPG.

John bemoans the lack of afterlife dream meetups.

Jaspersprite’s birthday song angers Jade. Trying to restrain her, John hits his head and blacks out.

John breathes deep his misfortune and meets Meenah.

John takes a trident for Dream Roxy. His figment pops and he wakes.

Terezi meets Aranea while reliving an old exchange with Vriska.

Aranea explains agency in paradox space.

In more ways than one, Aranea offers to help heal Terezi’s sight.

Bec Noir and the Monarch fight.

Lrd English closes in on Hussie.

Hussie tosses Slick into the sea.

Hussie and English deudle.

Hussie dies.

End of Year Three.

Act 6 Act 3.

Minigame 10: Land of Crypts and Helium.

Jane explores her land, solving ancient puzzles.

Calliope cheers her about her entry. Roxy pesters her for a love report. Jake suffers a blow to the head.

The way to the Maid’s palace is clear.

Minigame 11: The Seed Pod.

Jane restores her house to the surface. Auto Responder sends Lil Seb to search for Dad.

Pseudogame 18: The Clown.

Gamzee creates Tavrisprite, who explodes.

Vriska and Tavros meet in the afterlife.

Jake faints and relives an old conversation with Dirk.

Years prior: Dirk sendificates Jake the final piece of Brobot.

Dirk describes life after the Batterwitch’s rise to power and breeding experiments.

Dirk and Jake trade stories of their ancestors.

High Chaplain Fieri and Presidents Jay and Dope mark the decline of civilization.

Dirk’s Bro treats Dope’s head and Jay’s torso to the best rapier-off in the history of Paradox Space.

Roxy’s Mom rides the ogre.

Mom and Bro duel the Condesce.

Jake’s dreaming mind creates a perfect simulation of Dirk.

Jack is imprisoned on Prospit.

The Droll comes through for him.

Jack demonstrates his people skills.

Jack’s jailbreak attempt invites a beatdown at meaty Prospitian hands.

Aranea introduces herself to Jake.

Jake’s brain embarrasses him.

Aranea invites him to Meenah’s bubble.

The Condesce replaces the Black Queen.

The Dignitary takes Aranea’s advice on royalty.

Cinematics 68 and 69: This Ain’t No Sock Hop.

Everyone does a bunch of Lord Privy Seal stuff.

The Dignitary wears the ring of void.

The Dignitary scours Derse with the Red Miles.

Jane follows Dad and harvests grist.

Jane pesters Calliope about secrets and rules.

Caliborn jeers Dirk for some smut.

A year later, Dirk battles the drones.

Caliborn rewards Dirk with a shitty twist with a twist. Sawtooth arrives.

Dream Caliborn has Dream Calliope killed. In their session, Skaia clouds over.

Aranea finds Meenah spoiling to fight the visitors.

Aranea disarms Meenah. Karkat leaves.

Rose and Dave discuss Dream Roxy.

Meenah tells how she helped her party escape oblivion by killing them.

Her story angers Aranea, who tells their post-scratch stories in the same blunt style.

Jake connects the dots.

Jake whales on Meenah.

Aranea wakes Jake. Brain Ghost Dirk persists.

Cheered on by Calliope, Jake tests Terry’s functions.

Jake sendificates Jade the fully-armed bunny.

Cinematic 70: Trace Terry.

Bunnies Cinematic: Dark Cage 2.

Pseudogames 19 and 20: Calmasis.

Jane serves Roxy and follows Lil Seb to Derse.

Jake retrieves Grandma’s Fourth Wall.

Jake serves Dirk and transportalizes to Derse.

Caliborn jeers Dirk about the Miles and sends him a work of fine art.

Dream Dirk finds a clusterfuck on Derse.

Jane and Auto Responder pester Roxy about entry.

Roxy runs home. Calliope cheers her about the Miles.

Roxy serves Jake. Calliope cheers her with a tricksy drawing.

Who is this cherubic girl?

Calliope examines her room.

Calliope reads the tome.

Calliope goes topside for one last gander at the Shitty Liberties.

Caliborn jeers Calliope about the clusterfuck:

The Red Miles impale and kill Jane on Derse.

Lil Seb pulls Jake out in the nick of time and flies him home to Earth. Pyralspite separates them, knocking Jake unconscious. Lil Seb falls into the lagoon.

The Miles impale and kill Roxy on Earth.

Falling masonry knocks Dirk unconscious on Derse. He faints on Earth too, dropping Lil Cal into the sea.

Silent film 22: Noble Night.

Brain Ghost Dirk becomes Dirk’s dreamself’s dreamself.

Silent film 23: Dirk Flies.

Calliope sleeps.

The meteor passes out of Meenah’s bubble. Dirk tosses Roxy back to Derse.

Silent film 24: Orange Light.

Cinematic 71: God’s Gift to Grinds.

Dirk wakes, puts Sawtooth in charge of his entry, rockets through the fenestrated plane to Roxy’s house, puts Squarewave in charge of her entry, corpsesmooches Roxy, sendificates himself a bucket, and sendificates Jake his head.

Silent film 25: Orange Night.

Jake wakes and corpsesmooches Dirk.

Silent film 26: Orange Nova.

Cinematic 72: Unite Synchronization.

Dream Dirk wakes, corpsesmooches Jane, grabs Dream Roxy, flies into the Lotus in the Mystic Meteor, flies out of the Lotus in the Mystic Ruins, grabs Dream Jane who transportalized there from Prospit, flies out of the ruins, fills the bucket, and wakes Jake for his own corpsesmooch.

Silent films 27, 28, and 29: The Nobles.

Cinematic 73: Predomination Day.

The Cairo Overcoat travels from Curtain Land to a dream bubble full of offshoot ghosts. Lrd English steps out, shoop-da-whoops the ghosts to double-death, and cracks the Furthest Ring.

Caliborn wakes, severs his shackled leg, loses a tooth, installs the prosthetic leg Dirk helped him make, and launches Sburb. His glitched kernelsprite becomes a black hole and swallows his entire planet.

Curtains.

Act 6 Intermission 3.

Minigame 12: Meenah Quest, Level One.

Meenah tries to recruit her old gang to kill that asshole. She meets Aradia, Hussie, Aranea, Rose, Kanaya, Dave, Kankri, Karkat, Latula, and Porrim.

Two years have passed on the battleship.

It’s John’s birthday.

He and Jade celebrate on Lowas…

…by watching Con Air.

John suddenly hates Con Air.

John suddenly hates Davesprite.

John suddenly hates everything.

Davesprite looks down on John patriarchally like an urban watermark in the sky.

John faints.

Minigame 13: Meenah Quest, Level Two.

Meenah’s recruiting drive continues. She meets Cronus, Mituna, Kurloz, Meulin, and Terezi. Karkat agrees to join the fight later on.

Kurloz completes Gamzee’s wicked ensemble.

The Monarch and Bec Noir are locked in chase.

Noir enters a bubble of his rampage on the Battlefield.

Noir crosses paths with John.

John rearms.

They fight.

John disarms Noir.

Exploiting Rose’s ruse, John bonks Noir.

The Pop-a-Matic Vrillyhoo rolls "Ridiculous Hat".

The Monarch catches up.

The chase resumes.

Silent film 30: The Hat Flies.

John wanders into a bubble of sand and treasure.

Cinematics 74, 75, and 76: Weird Moody Horse Shit.

Cinematics 77 and 78: Zephyr.

John finds a ring.

Tavros asks for the ring.

Vriska arrives.

Vriska tells John about Lrd English.

Vriska explains the trouble with the Furthest Ring.

Vriska shares her plan.

Minigame 14: Meenah Quest Level Three.

Meenah’s recruitment drive is a total bust. She meets Rufioh, Horuss, Damara, the meteor folks again, and Vriska.

Two years have passed on the meteor. Dave raps.

Rose makes booze and forgets her date.

Rose and Kanaya go out.

Rose falls.

Psychematic: Lol.

Pseudogame 21: Thieves.

John wakes with the ring.

Curtains.

Act 6 Act 4.

Cinematic 79: Alpha Session.

Curtains.

Act 6 Intermission 4.

Cinematic 80: Dead Session.

Who is this young cherub?

Caliborn examines his dead land.

Caliborn walks.

Roxy fails to reverse Caliborn’s predomination.

Pseudogame 22, Ambients 4 and 5, and Cinematic 81: The Resilient Bard.

Caliborn declines Gamzee’s offer of guidance.

Caliborn finds a terminal tower.

The terminal lets him jeer the author of Homestuck.

Gamzee returns.

Cinematic 82: You Can’t Keep Down the Clown.

Caliborn powers the monitors on the tower.

Caliborn paints his words in Calliope’s blood.

Ambient 6: Max Volume.

Cinematic 83: Clang.

Hussie describes Caliborn’s session.

Caliborn starts to unlock his quest.

Hussie leaves him to it.

Curtains.

Act 6 Act 5.

Cinematic 84: Page of the Jaded Fool’s Ennui.

Jake runs from Dirk’s overbearing romance.

Jane and Roxy decorate.

Jake forgets Jane’s birthday.

Jane gets real tired of Jake’s shit.

Jane has a tantrum.

Jane goes home.

GCat teleports Roxy…

…into the clutches of the Condesce.

Caliborn jeers Jane about being able to see her.

Caliborn tortures Jane with news of Dad.

The Dignitary lets the paperwork pile up.

The Dignitary visits Dad.

They check Serious Business.

The Condesce puts the kibosh on their prissy hat chat nonsense.

Roxy returns to her fanfiction.

Roxy reads Wizardy Herbert.

Calliope arrives disguised as Serenity.

Calliope leads Roxy out of her house memories…

…and into a void sanctuary.

Calliope tells of her brother’s hunt.

Calliope urges Roxy to ascend and beat the game.

Rose joins them in the sanctuary.

Calliope wakes them.

The Condesce gives Roxy an impossible mission.

The Droll helps Roxy break out of Derse.

Roxy fails to pester Dirk.

Auto Responder asks Dirk to prototype him, but Gamzee gets to the sprite first. Their prototypings create Arquiusprite or, as I like to call him…

Lil Hak.

Cinematic 85: Hoofbeasts.

Lil Hak admires himself.

Roxy fails to pester Jake.

Caliborn jeers Jake about jacking his swagger.

Caliborn finds Lil Cal.

Caliborn communes with Lil Cal in a personal and intimate way.

Jane laments.

Jake and Calliope give Jane the juju codes.

Roxy fails to pester Jane.

Jane makes and succumbs to the Spiral Sucker.

Cinematic 86: Trickster Mode.

Cinematic 87: Land of Candy and Helium.

Curtains.

Cinematic 91: Double Clang.

Hussie scolds Caliborn for giving the kids magic candy.

Act 6 Intermission 5.

Three years have passed on the meteor, and the new session is near.

Karkat trolls Dave about their approach.

They discuss friendship decay.

Caliborn recruits Itchy and Doze.

The battleship lands on Lomax. The sprites disperse. John sleeps.

Caliborn recruits Trace and Clover.

John dreams and visits Vriska’s bubble.

Vriska, Meenah, and Aranea’s treasure hunt in the Furthest Ring has described what is described in certain circles as "a circle".

English has pursued them, completing a ring of cracked space around the Green Sun.

The spidertrolls raise a ghost army as bait for English’s rampage.

Aranea tells of the cherubim.

A benevolent cherub predominates and seeks a malevolent mate.

They turn into snakes and mate. The malevolent cherub, defeated, lays its egg on a dead planet orbiting a red giant. That planet is Earth.

Meenah takes a gaper break.

Cinematic 93: Interfishin.

Aranea tells of the cherub that hatched on Earth.

Caliborn predominates and enters a dead session.

Ambient 8: Audience with Yaldabaoth.

Skaia breaks, launching Caliborn into a game of pool with planets.

Vriska interrupts Aranea’s charming exposition on felt romance.

Aranea knows Vriska’s admiration is fake.

Karkat wakes Terezi, whose eyes are now merely hornshot.

Terezi confesses she let Aranea heal her eyesight.

Terezi bemoans her degrading romance with Gamzee. Dave needles Karkat about property.

Caliborn recruits Fin, Die and Crowbar.

The pirate buddies find a green skull cave.

Aradia explains why she is tagging along.

Silent film 34: Story Time.

Aranea tells of the Rings of Life and Void. Vriska connects the dots and flips out.

Vriska welcomes two Cronuses to the jampora.

Tavros, Sollux, Nepeta, and Feferi ollie outie.

Silent film 35: Ladies.

John makes no promises.

Vriska goes for the treasure.

Rose, drunk, catalogues Can Town.

Kanaya, fed up, knocks over the Libraray.

Caliborn recruits Stitch, Sawbuck, and Matchsticks.

Cinematic 94: The Captain’s Coat.

Meenah asks John to keep the ring to himself.

Cinematic 95: ✵ Marks the Spot.

Vriska opens the treasure chest.

The spotlight shifts to someone who is not Vriska.

Angered, Vriska hijacks the story and dumps the juju out of its chest. It’s a house-shaped hole in reality.

John reaches into the hole. His arm propagates throughout canonspace and then he vanishes with a flash.

Caliborn recruits Eggs and Biscuits.

Spades Slick finds Hussie dead on the balcony. Ms Paint fetches Slick’s things, including the voodoo doll. Slick resurrects and takes charge of The Felt.

Silent film 36: Everyone in the Oven.

Looking for a new hideout, Slick and The Felt step through the Fifth Wall into Doc Scratch’s apartment, which is now inside the Green Sun.

Slick carries The Felt into Scratch’s clock and finds himself in the nobles’ void session.

John vanishes from the Prospitian battleship and begins involuntarily zapping through canonspace. He sees the flying cork shelter on Earth and himself on Lowas.

John continues zapping around. He sees Vriska in her hive, Jake kissing Dirk’s head, the Dolorosa on Alternia, Dirk's Bro slaying the Presidents, and a scene of Con Air.

John's strange ordeal through canonspace ends with an intense staredown with Caliborn. Cans clocks him out of it.

John, reappearing on Lomax, discovers that he missed the arrival and everyone is gone. He rests at the Slab of the Jaded Fool’s Ennui.

Bec Noir and the Monarch follow the meteor rocketing into the void session.

Karkat freaks out over the lack of brakes on this thing.

Grimbark Jade shows up.

Cinematic 96: Heir of the Jaded Fool’s Ennui.

Curtains.

End of Year Four.

Silent film 37: Remove Disc 2.

The Homestuck Portfolio runs out of game discs. Caliborn gloats.