Act 1 of Homestuck

the Acts and Pages of HOMESTUCK a guide for fans of the web adventure
Act 1	Act 2	Act 3	Int
Act 4	5–1	5–2	EOA5
6–1	6–2	6–3	6–4
6–5	6-6-1	6-6-2	6-6-3
6-6-4	6-6-5	6-6-6	Act 7
Part 1	Part 2	Part 3	Part 4
documented by Rafe Saltman email tumblr twitter art and excerpts from Homestuck © 2009-2016 Andrew Hussie

the Acts and Pages of HOMESTUCK a guide for fans of the web adventure documented by Rafe Saltman email tumblr twitter art and excerpts from Homestuck © 2009-2016 Andrew Hussie	Act 1	Act 2	Act 3	Int
Act 4	5–1	5–2	EOA5
6–1	6–2	6–3	6–4
6–5	6-6-1	6-6-2	6-6-3
6-6-4	6-6-5	6-6-6	Act 7
Part 1	Part 2	Part 3	Part 4

the Acts and Pages of

HOMESTUCK

a guide for fans of
the web adventure

documented by

Rafe Saltman

email tumblr twitter

art and excerpts
from Homestuck

Andrew Hussie

Act 1

Int

	Act 1 The Note Desolation Plays Spoilers ahead!
first page	1, April 13 2009	pages	247
last page	247, June 7 2009	words in text	10 563
recap	1674, April 15 2010	words in media	2032
adventure map checkpoints
	Synopsis
john	Homestuck begins as the story of four friends who live far apart and have never met. We are introduced to these kids one by one, starting with John Egbert. It is John’s thirteenth birthday, and he wants to play a game with his online friends. He has been waiting for the game to arrive in the mail for days. After fussing with a gift from his baking-crazed Dad and enduring the pesterings of his friends, John leaves his room to check the mailbox. Seeing that Dad has already brought in the mail, John confronts him in the kitchen. They have a messy battle with hammers and cakes and pies. John ends the strife with a distraction and makes off with his mail. There are two parcels addressed to himself. The first, a gift from his friend Dave, contains the plush bunny prop from the set of Con Air. The second contains the beta release of the computer game Sburb. John and his friend Rose are eager to play Sburb and find out what it is about. Two other parcels for John remain out of reach, locked in Dad’s car.
sburb	John starts a game of Sburb with Rose. As John’s server player, Rose assumes control of his environment. Experimenting with the controls on her end, Rose discovers that she can extend John’s house, move furniture around, and place machinery that supports a kind of alchemy based on punch cards. The alchemy equipment emits a confusing ball of light called the Kernelsprite. The sprite is “prototyped” when it absorbs John’s maimed harlequin doll and takes on the appearance of a one-eyed, one-armed jester. The mission to alchemize their first item becomes urgent when John discovers a meteor is about to hit his house. After a series of frustrations brought on by Rose’s spotty internet connection, they succeed in creating a tree that bears a blue apple. John has only enough time to take a bite of the apple before the meteor strikes the Earth and makes a crater where his house stood a moment before.

Act 1 by date posted
date	page	scenes and events	adventure log
April 13 2009	1	Act 1. Who is this young man? John Egbert examines his room.	Homestuck Enter name. Try again. Examine room. John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer. Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST. John: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST. John: Examine contents of chest. John: Captchalogue smoke pellets. John: Equip fake arms. John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster. John: Read note on drawer. John: Take poster. John: Acquire hammer and nails. They will come in handy. John: Take nails. John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.
April 14 2009	17	John puts up his new Little Monsters poster.	John: Combine the nails and hammer. John: Use hammer/nails on poster. John: Nail poster to wall. John: Examine Con Air poster. John: Examine Deep Impact poster. John: Examine calendar. John: Eat cake.
April 15 2009	24	Dave pesters John about loot and apple juice.	John: Examine incoming message. John: Open Pesterchum. John: Open message. John: Look out window. John: Examine mailbox. John: Go outside and check mailbox. John: Forget it. Check mail later.
April 16 2009	31	Pseudogame 1: Computer Games. Dave pesters John about data structures. John selects the hammerkind specibus.	John: Examine games on CD rack. John: Read COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT. John: Captchalogue fake arms again. John: Set Pesterchum status to "bully". John: Answer chum. John: Combine fake arms with cake. John: Allocate hammer to strife specibus. John: Select "HAMMER". John: Report progress to TG.
April 17 2009	40	John acquires Sassacre’s Daunting Text and reads Game Bro.	John: Captchalogue Colonel's big book. John: Examine GameBro Magazine. John: Read article. John: Captchalogue GameBro.
April 18 2009	44	John makes a mess in the living room.	John: Captchalogue magician's hat. John: Get funny glasses too. John: Wear disguise to fool dad. John: Leave room. John: Go downstairs. John: Admire harlequins. John: Examine fireplace. John: Toss GameBro into fire. John: Fondly regard cremation. John: Topple urn. John: Combine father's pipe with clever disguise. John: Examine oversized gift. John: Open large present.
April 19 2009	57	John attaches fake arms to his gift harlequin. Rose pesters him about Sburb.	John: Captchalogue ashes. John: Combine ashes with urn. John: Put urn back. John: Go get fake arms again. John: Examine 3rd and 4th walls of room. John: Check Pesterchum. John: Check message. John: Go back downstairs. John: Attach arms to doll.
April 20 2009	66	John cleans up.	John: Inspect burnt paper on the floor. John: Throw present wrap in fire. John: Captchalogue doll. John: Read Colonel Sassacre's text. John: Find dad and retrieve mail.
April 21 2009	71	John examines the study. Cinematic 1: Piano Refrain.	John: Go in the study. John: Examine father's desk. John: Upgrade costume with hat from hat rack. John: Combine second pipe with clever disguise. John: Examine captchalogue card. John: Captchalogue captchalogue card. [S] John: Play haunting piano refrain.
April 22 2009	78	John makes a mess in the study.	John: Play 52 Pick-Up. John: Attempt to leave the house.
April 23 2009	80	John checks the mailbox too late; his dad already has the mail.	John: Exit. John: Check mail.
April 24 2009	82	Cinematic 2: Homestuck. The doll loses an arm.	[S] ==> ==> John: Leave a surprise for the mailman. John: See if your father left the mail in the car. John: Spy in the kitchen. John: Go back into the kitchen.
April 27 2009	88	Cinematic 3: Dad’s Domain.	[S] John: Enter. ==>
April 28 2009	90	Pseudogame 2: Strife with Dad.	[S] STRIFE!
April 29 2009	91	Dad lavishes John with baked goods.	John: Retrieve the package and flee to your room! John: Equip disguise for defense. John: Captachalogue pie tin. ==> John: Take the cake! ==>
April 30 2009	97	John makes his getaway.	John: Abscond. John: Take PDA. John: Take package. John: Take envelope. John: Exit kitchen.
May 1 2009	102	John smushes his whole Sylladex into one big cake.	John: Get cake on couch. John: Combine the cakes to make a double decker cake.
May 2 2009	104	John makes a mess in the bathroom.	John: Retreat upstairs! John: Go to bathroom and grab a towel. John: Remove PDA, envelope and package from cake. John: Retrieve your items. John: Go to bedroom.
May 3 2009	109	Dave pesters John about terrible movie stars.	John: Admire "Failure to Launch" poster. [S] John: Check Pesterchum.
May 4 2009	111	John checks MSPA’s Midnight Crew adventure.	John: Open browser and go to mspaintadventures.com ==>
May 5 2009	113	John installs Sburb and finds a Queue Modus.	John: Install the Sburb beta. ==> John: Bone up on data structures. John: Read Data Structures book. John: Get free Fetch Modus. John: Apply Fetch Modus to Sylladex.
May 6 2009	119	John makes a mess in his room.	John: Switch back to Stack Modus. John: Put down razor. John: Pick up two items. John: Get other cake. John: Get more stuff. John: Might as well grab those cuffs. ==>
May 7 2009	126	John makes a mess in the street.	John: Open up that package! John: Get razor. John: Pick up package again. John: Captchalogue glass shards. ==>
May 8 2009	131	John opens Dave’s gift. It is the plush bunny from Con Air.	John: Use the razor on the red package. ==> John: Check status of Sburb beta.
May 9 2009	134	Rose pesters John to play Sburb with her. Cinematic 4: Sburb.	John: Look at monitor. John: Check Pesterchum window. John: Press [ENTER] [S] ==>
May 12 2009	138	Silent film 1: Zoom Out. Rose makes a mess on the roof. John finds the Stack Modus.	==> TT: Select magic chest. TT: Zoom out. TT: Drop chest. John: Get the card. ==> TT: Select stuff in yard and move it back into room. TT: Select John. TT: Select bunny. TT: Put the bunny back in the box.
May 14 2009	148	Rose deploys the Totem Lathe.	TT: Revise room. ==> TT: Open Phernalia Registry. TT: Deploy Totem Lathe. John: Examine Totem Lathe. TT: Open Grist Cache ==> John: Stand in corner.
May 15 2009	156	Rose deploys the Cruxtruder and Alchemiter.	TT: Deploy Cruxtruder. TT: Deploy Alchemiter. John: Get PDA. John: Install Pesterchum. John: Go out to balcony. John: Examine Alchemiter in a cautious manner.
May 16 2009	162	Rose uproots the toilet.	John: Look through telescope. TT: Grab the soiled toilet. ==> John: Investigate.
May 17 2009	166	Jade’s dreambot pesters John. Rose royally screws the bathroom.	John: Hop down the hole. John: Get sledgehammer and card. ==> John: Answer chum. John: Might as well check out the Cruxtruder. ==>
May 18 2009	172	Rose makes a mess in the hallway.	John: Examine wheel on the Cruxtruder. TT: Put bathtub in driveway. John: Scold TT. John: Hit Cruxtruder with sledgehammer.
May 19 2009	176	Silent film 2: The Lid Comes Off. Rose and John pop the Cruxtruder open, releasing a kernelsprite. John maims the harlequin doll.	TT: Pick up sledgehammer. ==> ==> John: Turn wheel again. John: Get cruxite. TT: Deploy Pre-punched Card. John: Get card. John: Captchalogue fanciful harlequins. ==>
May 20 2009	185	Rose drops the doll into the sprite.	TT: Drop maimed harlequin into Kernelsprite.
May 21 2009	186	Cinematic 5: Harlequin Sprite. John and Rose test the Alchemiter.	[S] ==> ==> John: Use pre-punched card with the alchemiter. TT: Explore Atheneum. John: Captchalogue telescope. John: Put cruxite on weird pattern on alchemiter. ==> ==>
May 22 2009	194	John spots a meteorite bearing down on his house.	John: Switch modus and use telescope to inspect sky. ==> ==> ==> John: High-five Kernelsprite.
May 23 2009	199	Dad returns from the store. Dave pesters John about flighty broads and space rocks.	John: Attempt to ingest a unit of build grist. ==> TT: Revise bathroom. ==> John: Run to your room and contact TT through Pesterchum. John: Answer chums.
May 25 2009	205	After perpetrating the Perfect Crime, Rose disconnects again. John tests the Totem Lathe.	John: Use pre-punched card on totem lathe. John: Take cruxite to totem lathe. ==> ==> John: Use cruxite dowel on totem lathe. John: Activate lathe. ==> ==> ==>
May 26 2009	214	Who is this young lady?	==>
May 28 2009	215	Rose Lalonde examines her room. Cinematic 6: Violin Refrain.	Enter name. One more time. Examine room. Rose: Retrieve arms from the purple box. Rose: Writhe like a flagellum and puke on your bed. Rose: Stroke writing journal and mutter, 'My precious...' Rose: Get violin. [S] Rose: Play a haunting refrain on the violin.
May 30 2009	223	Rose considers her next move.	John: Tell Liv Tyler you love her before impact. Rose: Captchalogue knitting supply bag. Rose: Look out window. Rose: Get laptop.
May 31 2009	227	Rose takes the Grimoire.	Rose: Examine book on desk. Rose: Take book.
June 1 2009	229	Rose sneaks around the house.	Rose: Go explore the house. Rose: Tiptoe to observatory. ==> Rose: Sneak by. ==>
June 2 2009	234	Rose hurries up to the observatory.	Rose: Go through door. Rose: Hurry up to that observatory.
June 3 2009	236	Rose makes a mess in the observatory.	Rose: Try to connect!
June 4 2009	237	Rose reconnects.	Rose: See what you can observe. Rose: Stack laptop on Grimoire to maximize elevation. Rose: Access laboratory wifi network. ==> Rose: Remove door from hinges.
June 5 2009	242	Rose clears the way to the Alchemiter.	Rose: Put bathtub back. John: Take totem to alchemiter. Rose: Remove blocks. ==>
June 7 2009	246	Cinematic 7: The Meteor. Curtains.	[S] John: Take bite of apple. END OF ACT 1

Act 1

The Note Desolation Plays

Spoilers ahead!