GOD’S GIFT TO THE YAOIS

Caliborn was all set to introduce the trolls in the next act of Homosuck, and had even prepared their sprite art in the same style as the Tragic Male and Alpha Male. Then he fell under the sway of the How To Draw Manga book.

Caliborn abandons all previous work. He revels in the creative possibilities of this new style, especially the way it can make affection between males less loathsome to him because the males are rendered more effeminate. He teases a tsundere bishie romance between the Alpha Male and the Krab Guy.

Next, Caliborn introduces a self-insert character. This gorgeous bastard has the wings that Caliborn himself will never develop because his premature predomination stunted his growth. Finally, he grants the handsome boy a full body union with the clockwork makjack.

John zaps from the pages of Homosuck to the studio where those pages are drawn. He recognizes Caliborn as the author and big bad.

They fight. John gains the upper hand and gives Caliborn a beating, then involuntarily zaps away again. Caliborn is left flat on his back, unable to comprehend his first taste of defeat.

Everything goes to shit in the session as Aranea’s plan falls apart.

Having beaten Terezi down, Gamzee has her in a headlock and gloats. Karkat and Kanaya charge at him. Gamzee is half-prepared. He impales Karkat with Terezi’s cane and immolates him in the lava. Kanaya fares better, splitting Gamzee with one vertical swipe of her chainsaw.

Dave, trying to recover Jade’s corpse for resurrection, catches up with Jack and PM at Jade’s quest bed. He makes them drop the body on the slab. They draw their swords and fight. The Slayer and the Monarch impale Dave. He falls dead on top of Jade. His death, judged heroic, is permanent.

The robotic Jane is piggybacking and choke-holding Aranea in her sleep. Aranea uses ghost telekinesis to shrug Jane off and fling Brain Ghost Dirk’s abandoned sword at her. Jake jumps in front, taking the sword through his own chest to save Jane. His death, judged heroic, is permanent.

Jake’s last act is as fruitless as it is noble, because Aranea still has the sword, now with a floppy Jake-shaped crosspiece. She flings it again and gets the heiress on the same skewer. Jane’s death, judged just, is permanent.

From the deck of her flagship, the enraged Condesce fires her eye lasers indiscriminately on the scene below, vaporizing Kanaya.

Aranea knows she’s dead meat if she doesn’t neutralize Condy. Straining to use the full power of her mindjacked ghosts, she pulls a whole planet, Lolar, out of its orbit and smashes it into Lofaf with the flagship crushed between them. Condy escapes the collision. Aranea sends Locah on the same trajectory, but now Condy bends her own psionic power to the task, pulling Lohac out of its orbit too. Locah and Lohac collide.

Rose lunges in retaliation at Condy while Terezi lunges at Aranea. They both fail and are mortally wounded in the attempt, Rose by a trident and Terezi by her own cane-sword. Condy turns her eye lasers on the unconscious Rose. Roxy grabs Rose and disappears with her in the nick of time.

After one last planet collision, it’s the end of the line for Aranea. Condy catches up with the teen pirate wannabe, flicks the Ring of Life off her finger, snaps her neck, and chucks her carcass into the flaming wreckage of Lotak and Lomax. Aranea’s death is judged just.

By the end of Homestuck, the whole multitude of troll ghosts joins in a degree of heroism and importance that will not extend to Aranea. She is never seen again.

SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO BE RELEVANT. KEEP DREAMING BITCH!