Homestuck Part 1

Act 1.

Who is this young man?

John Egbert examines his room.

John puts up his new Little Monsters poster.

Dave pesters John about loot and apple juice.

Pseudogame 1: Computer Games.

Dave pesters John about data structures.

John selects the hammerkind specibus.

John acquires Sassacre’s Daunting Text and reads Game Bro.

John makes a mess in the living room.

John attaches fake arms to his gift harlequin.

Rose pesters him about Sburb.

John cleans up.

John examines the study.

Cinematic 1: Piano Refrain.

John makes a mess in the study.

John checks the mailbox too late; his dad already has the mail.

Cinematic 2: Homestuck.

The doll loses an arm.

Cinematic 3: Dad’s Domain.

Pseudogame 2: Strife with Dad.

Dad lavishes John with baked goods.

John makes his getaway.

John smushes his whole Sylladex into one big cake.

John makes a mess in the bathroom.

Dave pesters John about terrible movie stars.

John checks MSPA’s Midnight Crew adventure.

John installs Sburb and finds a Queue Modus.

John makes a mess in his room.

John makes a mess in the street.

John opens Dave’s gift. It is the plush bunny from Con Air.

Rose pesters John to play Sburb with her.

Cinematic 4: Sburb.

Silent film 1: Zoom Out.

Rose makes a mess on the roof.

John finds the Stack Modus.

Rose deploys the Totem Lathe.

Rose deploys the Cruxtruder and Alchemiter.

Rose uproots the toilet.

Jade’s dreambot pesters John.

Rose royally screws the bathroom.

Rose makes a mess in the hallway.

Silent film 2: The Lid Comes Off.

Rose and John pop the Cruxtruder open, releasing a kernelsprite.

John maims the harlequin doll.

Rose drops the doll into the sprite.

Cinematic 5: Harlequin Sprite.

John and Rose test the Alchemiter.

John spots a meteorite bearing down on his house.

Dad returns from the store.

Dave pesters John about flighty broads and space rocks.

After perpetrating the Perfect Crime, Rose disconnects again.

John tests the Totem Lathe.

Who is this young lady?

Rose Lalonde examines her room.

Cinematic 6: Violin Refrain.

Rose considers her next move.

Rose takes the Grimoire.

Rose sneaks around the house.

Rose hurries up to the observatory.

Rose makes a mess in the observatory.

Rose reconnects.

Rose clears the way to the Alchemiter.

Cinematic 7: The Meteor.

Curtains.

Act 2.

A Wayward Vagabond records a stuttering step in the sun-bleached dust.

Rose writes a GameFAQs walkthrough.

Cinematic 8: The Medium.

Silent film 3: The Kernel Hatches.

Minigame 1: The House.

Rose pesters John about the meteor strike.

They retrieve the PDA.

Who is this voice in John’s head?

It’s the Vagabond. He has found a station with a console monitoring John’s progress.

Rose explains punch card alchemy in her walkthrough.

Rose considers her next move.

The harlequin sprite thwarts Rose and John’s attempts at tier 2 prototyping, absorbing Nanna’s ashes instead.

Dave pesters John about Armageddon.

Rose drops the car mid-lift when her laptop loses power. It plummets into the abyss, parking illegally somewhere under the clouds.

Jade’s dreambot pesters John about meteors.

John sends Dave to get a copy of Sburb.

Rose selects the Needlekind Specibus.

Rose consults the Grimoire.

Cinematic 9: Symphony Impossible to Play.

Who is this cool kid?

Dave Strider examines his room.

Dave finds apple juice in his closet.

Dave pesters John about loot and apple juice.

Dave browses the web. Rose pesters him about hero worship and Sburb.

Later that day: John investigates a trail of crude.

Minigame 2: Dave’s Mixer.

Dave spills the apple juice on his turntables and Sburb copies.

Dave finds a towel.

Dave mops up the juice and hangs the betas to dry.

A rambunctious crow nabs the Sburb packages. Dave launches a sword, impaling the bird. It goes crashing out the window, still clutching the betas.

Later that day: Rose detests Zazzerpan the Learned.

Rose examines the living room.

Rose examines the kitchen.

Rose considers her next move. Mom surprises her.

Youth Roll!

Earlier: Jade pesters Dave about birthday presents.

Later: Dave pesters John about monsters.

Pseudogame 3: Strife with Mom.

Rose pats the stupid pony.

John reads the Data Structures book.

Pseudogame 4: Strife with the Shale Imp, Round One.

Rose leaves the house.

Pseudogame 5: Strife with the Shale Imp, Round Two.

Rose braves the elements.

Pseudogame 6: Strife with the Shale Imp, Final Round.

John exults with the bunny.

John levels up and adds Bunnykind to his strife portfolio.

John repairs his Hammerkind abstratus.

Rose makes a mess in the tomb.

Nannasprite pranks John.

Ambient 1: Prankster’s Gambit.

Dave pesters Rose about his bro’s unnerving puppets.

Nannasprite explains to John where he is now.

Cinematic 10: Skaia.

Silent film 4: Stalemate.

Silent film 5: The Game is Afoot.

Nannasprite poses “The Ultimate Riddle” and drifts away to bake cookies.

The Vagabond’s tactless harangue gives John a fit.

Rose takes no sass from dead cats.

The Vagabond unlocks a pantry in his station, releasing canned food and a book of etiquette.

Rose writes about prototyping.

Months prior: Jade pesters Rose about necromancy.

Cinematic 11: This Sick Heat.

Dave ventures into Bro’s domain.

Dave gets on Bro’s computer.

Dave checks Complete Bullshit.

Bro’s puppets and smuppets unsettle Dave.

Rose deploys the Punch Designix for John.

John assesses the imp situation.

Minigame 3: Pogo Ride.

Rose builds John’s house upwards.

John charges into glorious battle.

John falls and absconds to the study. Rose buys him time with a well-placed refrigerator.

The Vagabond, having gorged on the wisdom of Human Etiquette, returns with a polite request for John.

Rose drops the safe through the roof.

Rose adds screenshots to her walkthrough.

Rose babysits John through another exile-induced fit.

Dave pesters Rose about fluffy muppet buttock.

John examines the Punch Designix.

John learns how to turn captcha codes into punched cards.

Rose learns how to turn heavy objects into punched houses.

John pesters Rose about shitty stairs and his father’s bedroom.

John examines the safe, finding an old Sassacre’s. He punches the code for a captchalogue card onto a captchalogued captchalogue card.

John flails about with his newly diminished sylladex and levels up after crushing a hapless imp.

John tackles the precarious stairs.

Dave knows the drill with Bro.

Dave reads the Muppet Babies comic and loses patience with Bro’s ironies.

Dave examines the kitchen. It is littered with awesome dangerous stuff.

Dave unwittingly stars in Bro’s grisly puppet snuff film.

Dave recklessly weaponizes his sylladex.

Dave examines his hash function fetch modus.

Dave gives his objects ridiculous names to shoehorn them into his sylladex.

Dave wraps up his kitchen activities.

Dave falls for the smuppet trap.

Bro summons Dave to the roof.

Rose puts the kibosh on John’s self-indulgent tent-making nonsense.

John and Rose alchemize items from their punch cards.

Reading “Wise Guy” inspires John to carve a totem from overlapping punch cards. He makes the Pogo Hammer.

John tries out his new weapon.

John bounces up to the roof. Rose moves his bed up there to break his fall.

Cinematic 12: John Sleeps.

Rose thinks of sending John the captcha for Sburb Server, but it is indecipherable.

Also, her laptop dies again.

Cinematic 13: John Wakes.

Jade pesters John about another kind of waking.

A pair of Crude Ogres climb the house.

John prepares for a boss battle.

Cinematic 14: Dave Ascends.

The Vagabond makes a moldy pumpkin disappear.

The Vagabond cannot open the canned food and does not have a sylladex. He does have a bar code, however.

The Vagabond reviews Human Etiquette.

The Vagabond presides over Can Town and eats various inedible substances including a chunk of uranium fuel.

The Vagabond draws a chess board on the floor.

The Vagabond completes his mayoral sash.

The Vagabond draws the Incipisphere on the walls.

The Vagabond discovers the station’s other pantry. It is full of TAB sugar-free cola.

The Vagabond slakes his thirst, welcomes the pop cans to Can Town, and returns to the terminal.

The Vagabond locks himself out of the terminal and returns to his chess recreation.

Cinematic 15: To Victory!

A Peregrine Mendicant trundles precious cargo.

The station locks the Vagabond out of the Client Room.

The Server Room is also locked. The Vagabond enters the Appearifier Room instead and appearifies the Bec-head pumpkin.

After deciphering the machine’s coordinate system, the Vagabond appearifies his belongings from the Client Room.

The Vagabond releases Serenity from the amber and tests the Appearifier on a paradox subject.

Cinematic 16: Hasten to the Exit!

Cinematic 17: Five Times Cliffhanger Combo.

The Vagabond’s command station takes off and flies around the world. A continent westward, the Mendicant discovers the apple station. An ocean westward still, the Mystic Ruins arise on paleozoic Earth.

A forest fire threatens Rose’s refuge. Mom activates a secret passage.

Dad escapes from the imps. Dave and Bro face off.

The Vagabond’s station lands at the Mystic Ruins.

Curtains.

Act 3.

The old Sassacre’s contains a note from Nanna.

Who is this silly girl?

Jade Harley examines her atrium.

Pseudogame 7: Silly Flute Refrain

Jade considers the flute.

Pseudogame 8: Game Fetch Modi.

Jade selects a modus, feeds the plants, and consults the bands on her fingers.

Jade examines the garden atrium.

Jade picks some fruit.

Jade transportalizes upstairs.

Jade explores her room.

Jade examines her Wardrobifier.

Jade plays with dolls and admires fauna.

Jade admires the view.

Jade lets us play Memory with her items. (Not really.)

Jade irradiates a steak for Bec.

Cinematic 18: Hauntingly Relaxing Bassline.

Jade gets on her computer.

Silent film 6: Pesterchum Enamel.

Dave pesters Jade about his fursona.

Pseudogame 9: FreshJamz.

Cinematic 19: Midnight Crew.

Jade pesters Dave about birthday packages.

Cinematic 20: Strife with Bro, Round One.

Rose pesters Jade for reassurance.

Cinematic 21: Strife with the Crude Ogres, Adversity.

The Mendicant meets a robotic worm.

John contributes to the walkthrough.

Rose escapes to the SkaiaNet laboratory.

Rose enters the Hubgrid.

Jade descends through Grandpa’s trophies.

Karkat trolls Jade about fucking up.

Rose loses Jasper and finds a power source in the grid.

The Mendicant’s apple station counts down to liftoff.

Cinematic 22: Strife with Bro, Round Two.

Rose discovers the Session Terminal.

Pseudogame 10: Strife with the Crude Ogres, Victory.

John levels up.

Nannasprite hints at what comes next.

Dad wreaks havoc on Derse.

The Mendicant blows a hole in her station when she tries to speak to Jade.

Rose discovers a pink bedroom set and a mutant kitten in the lab.

John and Jade steel themselves for familial encounters.

Jade tries to sneak by Grandpa.

Pseudogame 11: Strife with Grandpa.

Jade leaves the house.

A robotic worm rescues the mail.

Rose creates a paradox clone of Jaspers.

Cinematic 23: Trace Jaspers.

Bonus Cinematic: Neigh.

Rose retrieves the corpse and escapalizes.

Jade searches for Bec and the package from John.

Cinematic 24: Kind of a Boring Room.

Who is this slick archagent?

Jack Noir despises the hat.

Dad gets the drop on the Brute.

John opens his presents and configures a queuestack array fetch modus.

John discovers the hideous dark secret of Fruit Gushers.

Cinematic 25: Gushers.

Pseudogame 12: Strife with Bec.

Rose transportalizes home just in time to see a meteor unestablish the SkaiaNet lab.

John punches some cards.

Jade dreams.

The Dreambot mimicks Dream Jade.

Months prior: John pesters Jade about his gift to her.

In the present: John sees his subconscious graffiti.

Years posterior: the Vagabond appearifies the gift.

An Aimless Renegade prepares for company.

Rose pesters John about brain problems.

Cinematic 26: Prospit.

Dream Jade sees the Mistress and so, in another time and place, does the Vagabond.

Following Jade’s instructions, the Vagabond takes cover with the Mendicant and gives her the box.

Dream Jade visits Dream John.

John incorporates double-punched cards into his alchemy.

John alchemizes so much sweet loot.

Cinematic 27: Strife with Bro, Final Round.

Bro defeats Dave, leaves him the beta, and rides a rocket board into the sky.

Cinematic 28: Skaian Eclipse.

Jade decides to enter the Mystic Ruins.

Jade zip-lines to a satellite of the Ruins.

Rose builds John’s house up to the First Gate.

Dave dumps his shit on the roof and grabs the beta.

Months prior: Rose gets knitting needles for her birthday. Kanaya trolls her about intellect.

Dave gets the Stiller shades for his birthday. Tavros trolls him about innuendo.

After emptying his gun at the intruders, the Renegade looks for another weapon.

The Renegade plays courthouse.

Jade places John’s present for the Vagabond to appearify.

The Renegade shoots rockets all over the place.

The Mendicant sendificates the gift.

Years prior: little Jade gets a gift and a letter from future John.

Dad earns Jack’s amnesty for destroying his hat.

Jade crosses the lagoon.

Dave installs Sburb.

Cinematic 29: Four Times Entry Combo.

Dave connects to Rose and helps her into the game. They prototype Rose’s kernelsprite with Jasper and the Tentacle Princess.

Nannasprite leaves a note in the new Sassacre’s.

Jade finds a lotus time capsule in the Ruins. The lotus yields Dave’s juice-stained betas.

John wrinklefucks and sassacrushes his way to the First Gate.

Curtains.

Intermission.

Silent film 7: English Mansion.

Who is this vicious mobster?

Spades Slick starts wrecking clocks.

Slick consults his vendetta itinerary. His crew is here to kill nearly all of The Felt, including their loathsome boss Lrd English.

Doze’s weird stasis field stumps Clubs Deuce.

Slick trips and hitches that quick lid-switching son of a bitch Itchy.

Deuce puts a bomb on his head.

Trace aggros Diamonds Droog from the future.

Die jumps out of the frying pan timeline and into the fire timeline—twice!

Eggs and Biscuits team up on Hearts Boxcars.

Trace crosses Deuce’s trace.

Fin tails Droog from the past. Being shot by Droog betrays his position, allowing Droog to shoot him.

Slick helps Die die.

Deuce helps Trace trace.

¡Adiós, Tres y Dos!

Deuce and Fin follow each other’s trails.

Boxcars calls for backup.

C’est la fin pour Fin.

Droog gets the drop on Stitch.

Slick jumps to a timeline where Crowbar is alive.

Cinematic 30: Snowman.

Snowman comes and goes, leaving a souvenir for Slick.

Slick wounds and rewounds Sawbuck. Time around Sawbuck is wound and rewound.

Slick brings Crowbar and Sawbuck back to the timeline where Crowbar is dead. Wounding Sawbuck a fourth time sends them all back to a time when the native Sawbuck was present. Slick incites friendly fire between Crowbar and the native Sawbuck, whisking the two off to another time.

Slick stabs the exogenous Sawbuck willy-nilly through time. The exogenous Crowbar and native Sawbuck reappear. Slick treats all three of their heads to the second best rapier-off in the history of Paradox Space.

Stitch sews up Slick’s wound.

Slick horses around.

Snowman comes and goes.

A Slick in time slays .

Slick breaks Eggs’s timer.

Boxcars eats Eggs.

Deuce bakes Biscuits.

Clover riddles the scofflaws about the safe, safe in the knowledge that he cannot be riddled back. Not with bullets, anyway.

Cans bursts in and punches Droog and Boxcars into other temporal strata.

Breaking the vault with Crowbar’s crowbar knocks Slick into an alternate timeline. Everyone is gone and everything is in ruins.

Slick enters the vault.

Snowman comes and goes, taking a souvenir from Slick.

Slick finds himself in a command station monitoring Karkat’s progress.

Curtains.

Act 4.

Minigame 4: Land of Wind and Shade.

John explores his Land and meets some friendly salamanders.

The Renegade shoots more rockets, then surrenders when he sees the Bec-head pumpkin.

Jade takes the juice-stained betas and switches to a Pictionary fetch modus.

Jade tries out the drawing modus. Bec finds her and returns her to the house.

Jade installs Sburb and pesters the boys about it.

Dave pesters Rose about cozies.

Karkat trolls John about getting Jade to talk to him.

The Vagabond shares rations with his new friends.

Jade connects to Dave and starts deploying his alchemy gear.

Rose pesters Dave about the efficiency of girls.

Jade makes a mess in his bathroom.

Cinematic 31: Land of Light and Rain.

The Renegade retrieves the refrigerator and cookalizer.

The Vagabond introduces the Mendicant to John. She in turn introduces John to the Pyxis system.

John asks Nannasprite about the Seven Gates.

Who is this voice in Rose’s head?

John finds some baddies terrorizing a salamander village.

Jade falls asleep, releases Dave’s kernelsprite, and puts the impaled crow in it.

Dave contemplates pranking John with pee juice.

Dave tricks Jade into waking herself with a Robo Slap.

The Renegade makes a fire and gives the Mendicant a Squiddle.

The squiddle recalls to the Mendicant her old encounter with the Renegade, when he was an Authority Regulator and she was a Parcel Mistress.

The minions get the best of John.

A moustachioed gunman rescues John and wanders off without a word.

The spirograph reminds the Mendicant of her delivery duties.

The Regulator gives the Mistress the Sburb copy but keeps the green package for his superiors.

John discovers to his dismay that shaving cream is flammable. A windy thing puts out the fire.

The Mendicant asks John to carve a Pyxis request.

A Windswept Questant asks Rose to explore her land and find her sprite.

Rose discovers that Mom has sailed away.

The Renegade and the Vagabond play Exile Town and oh my god egg!

Dave alchemizes his pre-punched item, a cruxite egg. His crow sprite swoops down and carries the egg away to its roof-shit nest.

Jade puts the kibosh on Dave’s self-indulgent microwave nonsense.

Jade adds a jumper block extension to Dave’s alchemiter. To upgrade it they need shale for a Punch Designix to punch cards for the shunts.

Dave installs gristTorrent.

Rose battles her first minions.

Rose acquires chalk.

Dave leeches John’s grist.

John and Rose compare lands.

Terezi trolls Rose about coöperation.

Months prior: Karkat trolls Jade, Jade hears from her penpal, and Terezi trolls John.

The Mistress follows the Regulator to Derse.

The Black Queen sends the Mistress to see Jack.

The Questant gets out of Rose’s head and emerges from the egg station.

Jack offers the green box in exchange for Prospit’s crowns, sending the Mistress on her way with a Regisword and a hit list.

Dave and Jade tinker with jumper block upgrades, briefly rendering the alchemiter useless.

They consolidate Dave’s alchemy devices, cutting out the shunt and cruxite intermediaries. Jade’s modus foils her attempt to deploy the captcha reader.

Dave creates an enlarger upgrade.

Terezi trolls John about shortcuts.

Rose goes home and rides an ogre down the falls. Dave pesters her for grist.

Kanaya trolls Dave for the scoop on Rose.

Tavros trolls Rose for the dope on Dave.

Kanaya trolls Rose about rigging temporal inevitability.

Tavros trolls Dave about getting mad hornographic.

John flurps out of a shortcut.

John reënacts a sentimental scene with a dirty little bunny with a heart of gold. Karkat trolls him about cinema.

Terezi trolls John about facing his Denizen. John enters a node returning him to his house.

The Vagabond and the Renegade make a crown for the Questant, to the Mendicant’s astonishment.

The Mendicant remembers the White Queen, who gave her a royal duty that is now fulfilled.

The Questant coronates the Mendicant.

Rose finds Jaspersprite, who tells her about playing the rain.

Rose pesters Dream Jade about her dream self.

Dave climbs towards the bird sprite’s roof-shit nest. A meteor looms.

Terezi trolls John about his rocket pack with random crap stuck inside it.

John makes an unadulterated rocket pack.

Dave, having entered, pesters John about the bird sprite’s second prototyping.

John blasts off to the Seventh Gate.

Cinematic 32: Land of Heat and Clockwork.

In a future bereft of John and Jade, Dave loses patience with the ghastly Calsprite. He pesters Rose one last time before traveling back in time to reverse the outcome.

Future Dave arrives at the scene of his entry moments before things went to shit. After doing his best to dissuade John, he drops his loot for current Dave and dumps himself into the crow sprite, becoming Davesprite.

Future Rose’s timeline expires, imprinting her dream self onto her past self.

Cinematic 33: Rose Sleeps.

Davesprite trolls Terezi about impressionable doofs.

Dave chills with Davesprite.

John remembers Dave’s birthday note and reconsiders.

Dave pesters John about trust.

Karkat trolls John about mistakes, friendship, and the Veil.

Cinematic 34: Derse.

The Black Queen inflicts the dress code on Jack Noir. He rips off the motley costume, leaving only a tattered collar.

Dream Rose wakes and deciphers the Meow code written on her walls.

The kids’ Guardians blaze their own trails through the Medium.

Using the contents of the green box, Jack slays the Queen and puts on her ring, becoming the Sovereign Slayer.

End of Year One.

We use the fourth wall stolen from Jack’s office to intrude on the author of Homestuck.

Recap 1: The First Year of Homestuck.

John; the beta; the bunny; punch card alchemy; John’s entry; the kernelsprite; Nannasprite; Rose; the lab; paradox slime; Dave; Rose’s entry; the cork station; Wayward Vagabond; Peregrine Mendicant; Aimless Renegade; Jade; cloud visions; Prospit dreamers; John’s gifts; little Jade’s birthday; Parcel Mistress; Dad; Derse; abdication; Exile Town; coronation; Lowas; denizens; destiny; deviation; fateful mistakes; trolls; Trollian; their chumhandles; the Midnight Crew; CG; Jade’s reticence; GA and AT; GC; Windswept Questant; Jaspersprite; Derse dreamers; the doomed timeline; the Mystic Ruins; the crow’s nest; Dave’s entry; John’s flight; the dead end; Davesprite; Rose’s waking; Jack Noir; the Ring of Orbs Fourfold; the fourth wall.

Pseudogame 13: Map of Lowas.

Terezi sends John to his second gate.

John rockets through the gate and crashes into Rose’s house on Lolar. He finds her sleeping.

Davesprite pesters John about the network of gates.

Dave pesters John to snoop on Rose’s notebooks.

Dream Rose greets Dream Dave.

John finds This Ocean Charles.

John opens Rose’s unfinished present to him. It is a grubby bunny half-covered in knitted patchwork.

John leaves Casey with Rose. Kanaya trolls Rose but John answers, pretending to be her.

Kanaya bugs Sollux to turn on her viewport.

Pseudogame 14: Professionalism.

Dream Rose tosses Lil Cal out of Dave’s tower.

Maplehoof follows Mom into some turtle ruins and through a transportalizer.

The breeze delivers a fresh hat to Dad, who follows Grandpa into some salamander ruins and through a transportalizer.

John makes Hephaestus’s hammer on Rose’s alchemiter and pesters Davesprite about its origin.

Sollux opens Kanaya’s viewport.

Rose wakes up and walks right into John’s gushers prank.

John blasts off with Mutini/Meowgon. Rose adopts Casey/Viceroy.

Lil Cal lands on a rocket board. The Regulator follows him through a transportalizer.

John enters the turtle ruins and uses the transportalizer.

John enters a laboratory in the Veil. He finds some stuff the guardians left behind and some of the carapacian breeding apparatus.

John dons a lab suit and takes the controls.

The Regulator rides the rocket board out into the veil.

The Courtyard Droll follows the Mistress to Prospit and picks her pocket, taking the White Queen’s ring.

Dream Jade clobbers the Droll and recovers the ring too late to return it to the Mistress.

Cinematic 35: The Battlefield.

After three kernel hatchings, the Battlefield is a fertile globe on which Prospit and Derse wage total war. Angered when his farm is destroyed, Warweary Villein incites a rebellion of pawns from both sides.

The Mistress lands and discovers the ring is missing. The White King gives her his scepter, but the Hegemonic Brute attacks and knocks it away.

Jack Noir flies to the scene of the rebel army confronting the Black King, slays the King, and takes his crown.

Rose alchemizes sweet loot.

Dream Jade builds up Dave’s house.

Dave alchemizes way sweet loot.

Dave alchemizes the sweetest loot.

Dave copies and reads Rose’s notebooks, then marks his place with the juice-stained betas and pesters Rose to find out why she is burning the original.

Davesprite asks Rose what she remembers from the doomed offshoot.

The Draconian Dignitary steals the notebooks. In another offshoot, Dave rewinds time to intercept him. The Dignitary slays that Dave and absconds, leaving the body for main Dave to find.

Using a terminal calibrated by recent visitors to the cloning meteor, John appearifies paradox ghost imprints of Nanna, Grandpa, Bro, and Mom, creating their paradox clones.

Mutie recombines the imprints, cloning their offspring.

Eight babies are born on the cloning pad.

John levels up to Ectobiolobabysitter.

Grandpa ferries Mom and Dad to Skaia on a space boat.

Karkat trolls John, revealing the paradox clone babies are John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Nanna, Mom, Bro, and Grandpa’s own past selves.

The babies attach themselves to various objects around the lab. Karkat trolls John about how they get to Earth.

The Regulator discovers a Mystic Meteor in the Veil. Inside he finds an empty lotus time capsule and a console monitoring the Sassacre family. On screen, Baby Grandpa arrives by meteor and shoots the old Colonel with a flintlock pistol.

The Draconian Dignitary arrives with the notebooks and tosses the juice-stained betas into the lotus seed.

Karkat trolls John about Jack Noir.

Cinematic 36: Con Air Tribute.

Curtains.

Psyche.

Terezi trolls Dave about cool kid blood.

Tavros trolls Jade about naps. Kanaya trolls Rose about roleplay choices. Terezi trolls Dave about exploring his land.

Cinematic 37: Sovereign Slaughter.

The crow sprite pecks Dave off the antenna tower. Bro slices the meteor in half. Dave lands on Bro’s rocket board. The egg cracks, ushering Dave into the Medium.

Mom and Dad approach Skaia.

Jack, the Sovereign Slayer, massacres the rebels, sparing only the Villein, and devastates the Battlefield with some super deadly red shit.

The babies and their chosen objects—baby John with Sassacre’s text, baby Rose with the original bunny, baby Dave with Maplehoof, baby Jade with the patched bunny, baby Nanna with the soiled hat, baby Mom with Mutie, baby Bro with Lil Cal, and baby Grandpa with a pair of pistols—are transportalized out of the ectobiology lab and onto eight neighbouring meteors.

The Droll fetches the white sceptre and Jack uses it to activate the Reckoning. Meteors from the Veil begin speeding toward Skaia.

In the Mystic Meteor, the Dignitary recombines Halley’s imprint with the Meow code, producing Bec, whose green wrath horrifies the Regulator.

Jack hits Prospit with the red shit, severs Prospit’s chain, and flies to the Beat Mesa on Lohac to duel Bro. Bro stabs the Mesa, partially cracking its surface.

The Squiddles entangle Skipper Plumbthroat in a big tanglebuddy ball.

Dream John, still asleep, plummets to the Battlefield amid the wreckage of Prospit’s moon. Dream Jade throws him to safety and perishes in the collision. Her dreambot explodes, blowing Earth Jade out of her house. Dream John wakes.

Skaia’s defense portals intercept the oncoming meteors, sending them to Earth.

Dave enters his first gate. Rose destroys hers.

A meteor looms over Jade’s island.

Curtains.

Rose concludes her walkthrough.

The Villein rends the effigy of Jack and later becomes the Vagabond.

Dream John finds Dream Jade’s body and takes the ring she wore.

The Mistress slays the Brute, fulfills her bargain with Jack, delivers the green box to Dream John, and later becomes the Mendicant.

Dream John opens the package, finding letters from Jake and Jade and a robot bunny with legendary weapons. Jack’s intrusion snaps John out of his grief. With his bunnykind specibus, John wields the bunny, countering Jack’s threat.

The Regulator flees from Bec’s wrath and later becomes the Renegade.

The Regulator finds John sleeping in the ectobiology asteroid just as the reckoning launches it at Skaia. He ties John to the rocket board and sends him away to safety.

Jack absconds. Grandpa lands the space boat and recovers and taxidermizes Dream Jade’s body. Mom and Dad disembark.

The White Queen sails through a defense portal and later becomes the Questant.

The Questant repairs the cracked egg station. At the Mendicant’s coronation, the Vagabond reveals the ring he has been safeguarding.

We find the fourth wall in the spooky old lab in Jade’s house, flanked by Grandpa’s trophies including the stuffed Jade and Halley.

Recap 2: The Rest of Act 4.

John visits Rose; John fools Kanaya; Rose visits Dave; the guardians meet; John follows; John discovers ectobiology; the Regulator scopes the Mystic Meteor; Rose communes with the Horrorterrors; Dave accepts Terezi’s help; Dave enters; the Droll tails the Mistress; the Battlefield is prototyped; the Kings wield sceptres; the Kings lose their sceptres; John monitors the guardians; John clones the guardians; John clones his friends; Skaia sacrifices Earth; the babies take companions; John dispenses bunnies; the Regulator watches the Sassacre-Crocker family; the Dignitary creates Bec; Mom and Dad reunite; Tavros reveals dreamer mortality; Dream Jade dies; Dream John wakes; Dreambot explodes; Bro cracks the Mesa; Rose perverts her quest; the Exiles recall their exile; Grandpa lands; the Mistress and Jack trade prizes; John opens the box; the bunny repels Jack; the Vagabond reveals the ring.