the Acts and Pages of a guide for fans of |
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Act 1 |
Act 2 |
Act 3 |
Int |
Act 4 |
5–1 |
5–2 |
EOA5 |
6–1 |
6–2 |
6–3 |
6–4 |
6–5 |
6-6-1 |
6-6-2 |
6-6-3 |
6-6-4 |
6-6-5 |
6-6-6 |
Act 7 |
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
documented by Rafe Saltman art and excerpts © 2009-2016 Andrew Hussie |
the Acts and Pages of a guide for fans of documented by Rafe Saltman art and excerpts © 2009-2016 Andrew Hussie |
Act 1 |
Act 2 |
Act 3 |
Int |
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Act 4 |
5–1 |
5–2 |
EOA5 |
|
6–1 |
6–2 |
6–3 |
6–4 |
|
6–5 |
6-6-1 |
6-6-2 |
6-6-3 |
|
6-6-4 |
6-6-5 |
6-6-6 |
Act 7 |
|
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
IntermissionDon’t Bleed on the Suits.Spoilers ahead! |
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first page | 1154, January 15 2010 | pages | 204 |
last page | 1357, February 9 2010 | words in text | 7789 |
recap | 1674, April 15 2010 | words in media | 1208 |
adventure map checkpoints | |||
Synopsis | |||
the mansion |
Spades Slick, Diamonds Droog, Clubs Deuce, and Hearts Boxcars are the Midnight Crew, a quartet of vicious black-shelled mobsters. The Midnight Crew’s gang war with The Felt and their boss Lrd English escalates when Slick and his crewmates break into English’s mansion. They split up and search the house for clocks to break, safes to crack, and green torsos to slay. The Felt’s fifteen members all have different time-related powers, but they are fatally disorganized. The Midnight Crew exploit their weaknesses and kill them one by one. Soon the only foes left are Snowman, who holds the universe hostage, and Clover and Cans, who are respectively too lucky and too huge to take down. |
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the vault |
Tiring of the fight, Spades Slick goes straight for the big vault. Ignoring a warning from Clover, he pries it open with Crowbar’s crowbar. The vault’s weird time shit backfires on Slick, kicking him into a parallel timeline where things happened differently. The house is a smoking ruin. Everyone else is dead except Snowman, who rips his arm off and locks him inside the vault. Climbing down through a trapdoor, Slick finds a command station monitoring a troll’s progress in the Medium. |
Intermission by date posted | |||
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date | page | scenes and events | adventure log |
January 15 2010 | 1154 |
Intermission. Silent film 7: English Mansion. Who is this vicious mobster? |
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January 16 2010 | 1156 |
Spades Slick starts wrecking clocks. |
[I] SS: Inspect timekeeping devices. [I] SS: Captchalogue carriage clock. [I] SS: Build fort with clocks. |
January 17 2010 | 1162 |
Slick consults his vendetta itinerary. His crew is here to kill nearly all of The Felt, including their loathsome boss Lrd English. |
[I] SS: Shuffle contents of war chest. [I] SS: Scavenge war chest for fancy headwear. [I] SS: Hide inside your war chest. [I] SS: Start up the Crosbytop. [I] SS: Go to mspaintadventures.com. [I] SS: Delete the time setting on the crosbytop. [I] SS: Examine vendetta itinerary. |
January 18 2010 | 1173 |
Doze’s weird stasis field stumps Clubs Deuce. |
[I] SS: Use radio device to check on unscrupulous cohorts. [I] SS: Enter the hallway near the main entrance. [I] CD: Punch clocks in faces to establish chronology. |
January 19 2010 | 1184 |
Slick trips and hitches that quick lid-switching son of a bitch Itchy. |
[I] CD: Throw the hat down and stomp it mercilessly. [I] SS: Stop being Hearts Boxcars. [I] SS: Lift left leg and hold it a little ways in the air. [I] SS: Wear CD's hat on top of your current one. |
January 20 2010 | 1196 |
Deuce puts a bomb on his head. Trace aggros Diamonds Droog from the future. |
[I] CD: Pick a card, any card. [I] CD: Pick up card depicting stately blonde-haired fellows [I] CD: Forget you are CD. Believe you are Hearts Boxcars. [I] DD: Retrieve hat from brawlsoleum. [I] DD: Withdraw licorice fish from backup hat. [I] DD: Resume pursuit of wounded felt member. [I] DD: Follow trail of blood up the stairs. [I] CD: Follow Diamonds Droog's instructions. |
January 21 2010 | 1210 |
Die jumps out of the frying pan timeline and into the fire timeline—twice! |
[I] Meanwhile, running roughly parallel with present events. [I] SS: Make friends with Die. |
January 22 2010 | 1220 |
Eggs and Biscuits team up on Hearts Boxcars. Trace crosses Deuce’s trace. Fin tails Droog from the past. Being shot by Droog betrays his position, allowing Droog to shoot him. |
[I] HB: Retrieve two of hearts from backup hat. [I] HB: Peruse Red Cheeks magazine. [I] HB: Call Clubs on nearest card. |
January 23 2010 | 1235 |
Slick helps Die die. Deuce helps Trace trace. ¡Adiós, Tres y Dos! |
[I] SS: Help the green man live up to his name. [I] DD: Follow blood trail downstairs and finish him off. [I] SS: Return to being Hearts Boxcars. |
January 24 2010 | 1248 |
Deuce and Fin follow each other’s trails. |
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January 25 2010 | 1251 |
Boxcars calls for backup. C’est la fin pour Fin. |
[I] HB: Waste exactly four hours on this tomfoolery. |
January 26 2010 | 1258 |
Droog gets the drop on Stitch. |
[I] CD: Burst in thrusting bull penis cane. |
January 27 2010 | 1262 |
Slick jumps to a timeline where Crowbar is alive. |
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January 28 2010 | 1266 |
Cinematic 30: Snowman. Snowman comes and goes, leaving a souvenir for Slick. |
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January 29 2010 | 1269 |
Slick wounds and rewounds Sawbuck. Time around Sawbuck is wound and rewound. |
[I] SS: Remove knife from eye. [I] SS: Kill something out of rage and frustration. |
January 30 2010 | 1274 |
Slick brings Crowbar and Sawbuck back to the timeline where Crowbar is dead. Wounding Sawbuck a fourth time sends them all back to a time when the native Sawbuck was present. Slick incites friendly fire between Crowbar and the native Sawbuck, whisking the two off to another time. |
[I] SS: Hit Crowbar in the head. [I] SS: Stuff him in your deck of cards. [I] SS: Just go stab Sawbuck until the time shenanigans stop [I] SS: Carry Sawbuck like Titan Atlas would carry the world |
February 1 2010 | 1284 |
Slick stabs the exogenous Sawbuck willy-nilly through time. The exogenous Crowbar and native Sawbuck reappear. Slick treats all three of their heads to the second best rapier-off in the history of Paradox Space. |
[I] SS: Take a moment to think up some time-based one-liners [I] SS: Stab first, utter puns later. [I] PSS: Remove Crowbar's pin. [I] PSS: Be Future Spades Slick. [I] SS: Quickly remove lance from Sawbuck. |
February 2 2010 | 1298 |
Stitch sews up Slick’s wound. |
[I] DD: Have Stitch patch up SS's effigy. |
February 3 2010 | 1302 |
Slick horses around. Snowman comes and goes. |
[I] SS: Arm yourself, in case Cans shows up. |
February 4 2010 | 1307 |
A Slick in time slays . |
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February 5 2010 | 1312 |
Slick breaks Eggs’s timer. Boxcars eats Eggs. Deuce bakes Biscuits. |
[I] SS: Start whacking things with the crowbar. [I] SS: Crowbar. Biscuits' oven. Make it hapen. |
February 6 2010 | 1322 |
Clover riddles the scofflaws about the safe, safe in the knowledge that he cannot be riddled back. Not with bullets, anyway. |
[I] SS: Use crowbar to pry the safe open. [I] SS: Politely ask Clover to remain calm. |
February 7 2010 | 1328 |
Cans bursts in and punches Droog and Boxcars into other temporal strata. |
[I] DD: Check personal ads of periodical. [I] DD: Resist urge to shout "Oh Yeah!" |
February 8 2010 | 1336 |
Breaking the vault with Crowbar’s crowbar knocks Slick into an alternate timeline. Everyone is gone and everything is in ruins. Slick enters the vault. Snowman comes and goes, taking a souvenir from Slick. |
[I] SS: Ignore him and just pry the safe open. [I] SS: Dramatically use the spade key. |
February 9 2010 | 1349 |
Slick finds himself in a command station monitoring Karkat’s progress. Curtains. |