Act 4.
Minigame 4: Land of Wind and Shade.
John explores his Land and meets some friendly salamanders.
Act 4.
Minigame 4: Land of Wind and Shade.
John explores his Land and meets some friendly salamanders.
The Renegade shoots more rockets, then surrenders when he sees the Bec-head pumpkin.
Jade takes the juice-stained betas and switches to a Pictionary fetch modus.
In a future settled askance of the present...
In the mystic ruins of an era pre-desecration...
Jade tries out the drawing modus. Bec finds her and returns her to the house.
Jade: Quick! Random scribbling!
Jade: Get the rest of your items.
Jade installs Sburb and pesters the boys about it.
Dave pesters Rose about cozies.
Karkat trolls John about getting Jade to talk to him.
The Vagabond shares rations with his new friends.
Jade connects to Dave and starts deploying his alchemy gear.
Rose pesters Dave about the efficiency of girls.
Jade makes a mess in his bathroom.
Jade: Move Dave's bed to the roof.
Jade: Deploy the cruxtruder in its place.
Jade: Replace television with totem lathe.
Jade: Organize Dave's puppets.
Cinematic 31: Land of Light and Rain.
The Renegade retrieves the refrigerator and cookalizer.
The Vagabond introduces the Mendicant to John. She in turn introduces John to the Pyxis system.
John asks Nannasprite about the Seven Gates.
AR: Retrieve mysterious artifacts from ruins.
WV: Introduce new friends to John.
I am told your name is John. Is that correct?
Ok, John. Let's explore this place!
This is great! Something is in there. Take a look.
There is nothing inside. Should we put something in?
This one's empty. Perhaps a delivery is in order?
Introduce yourself to the local amphibious fauna.
Hooray! This one contains a prize!
Who is this voice in Rose’s head?
John finds some baddies terrorizing a salamander village.
Jade falls asleep, releases Dave’s kernelsprite, and puts the impaled crow in it.
Dave contemplates pranking John with pee juice.
Jade: Drop the toilet in Dave's room.
Dave: Use now empty apple juice bottle as pee receptacle.
Dave: Kick that puppet out of the shower.
Jade: Retrieve Dave's copy of Sburb and the impaled crow.
Dave tricks Jade into waking herself with a Robo Slap.
The Renegade makes a fire and gives the Mendicant a Squiddle.
AR: Use gunpowder and empty crates to make a campfire.
The squiddle recalls to the Mendicant her old encounter with the Renegade, when he was an Authority Regulator and she was a Parcel Mistress.
The minions get the best of John.
So many years ago, entrenched in the temporally oblique...
AR?: Surround the scene with caution tape.
A moustachioed gunman rescues John and wanders off without a word.
The spirograph reminds the Mendicant of her delivery duties.
The Regulator gives the Mistress the Sburb copy but keeps the green package for his superiors.
John discovers to his dismay that shaving cream is flammable. A windy thing puts out the fire.
AR?: Doff your hat to the attractive female.
The Mendicant asks John to carve a Pyxis request.
A Windswept Questant asks Rose to explore her land and find her sprite.
John, the uncarved tablet you retrieved.
Rose discovers that Mom has sailed away.
The Renegade and the Vagabond play Exile Town and oh my god egg!
A mother will do whatever is best for her children.
WV: Become the mayor of Exile Town.
Dave alchemizes his pre-punched item, a cruxite egg. His crow sprite swoops down and carries the egg away to its roof-shit nest.
Jade puts the kibosh on Dave’s self-indulgent microwave nonsense.
Jade: Give Dave punch card of an eggy loking thign [sic].
Jade adds a jumper block extension to Dave’s alchemiter. To upgrade it they need shale for a Punch Designix to punch cards for the shunts.
Dave installs gristTorrent.
Rose battles her first minions.
Jade: Deploy green and white compact disc.
Jade: Deploy circuit board looking thingy.
Jade: Attempt to deploy catchalogue disk drive.
Dave: Insert card with the CD on the slot.
Rose acquires chalk.
Dave leeches John’s grist.
John and Rose compare lands.
Terezi trolls Rose about coöperation.
Months prior: Karkat trolls Jade, Jade hears from her penpal, and Terezi trolls John.
You guide the Heir. Consult with him.
The Mistress follows the Regulator to Derse.
The Black Queen sends the Mistress to see Jack.
The Questant gets out of Rose’s head and emerges from the egg station.
This is the last you will hear from me.
Rose: Sip martini thoughtfully.
Fourth Exile: Suddenly appear.
Jack offers the green box in exchange for Prospit’s crowns, sending the Mistress on her way with a Regisword and a hit list.
Dave and Jade tinker with jumper block upgrades, briefly rendering the alchemiter useless.
Dave: Put a punched card in a shunt.
Dave: Use a punched Gamebro Magazine card.
They consolidate Dave’s alchemy devices, cutting out the shunt and cruxite intermediaries. Jade’s modus foils her attempt to deploy the captcha reader.
Dave: Upgrade alchemiter with holopad.
Dave creates an enlarger upgrade.
Jade: Draw air conditioner on roof.
Terezi trolls John about shortcuts.
Rose goes home and rides an ogre down the falls. Dave pesters her for grist.
Kanaya trolls Dave for the scoop on Rose.
Tavros trolls Rose for the dope on Dave.
Kanaya trolls Rose about rigging temporal inevitability.
Tavros trolls Dave about getting mad hornographic.
John flurps out of a shortcut.
John reënacts a sentimental scene with a dirty little bunny with a heart of gold. Karkat trolls him about cinema.
John: Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.
John: Give dear sweet Casey the bunny.
Terezi trolls John about facing his Denizen. John enters a node returning him to his house.
The Vagabond and the Renegade make a crown for the Questant, to the Mendicant’s astonishment.
The Mendicant remembers the White Queen, who gave her a royal duty that is now fulfilled.
The Questant coronates the Mendicant.
Rose finds Jaspersprite, who tells her about playing the rain.
Rose pesters Dream Jade about her dream self.
Dave climbs towards the bird sprite’s roof-shit nest. A meteor looms.
Terezi trolls John about his rocket pack with random crap stuck inside it.
John makes an unadulterated rocket pack.
Dave, having entered, pesters John about the bird sprite’s second prototyping.
John blasts off to the Seventh Gate.
Cinematic 32: Land of Heat and Clockwork.
In a future bereft of John and Jade, Dave loses patience with the ghastly Calsprite. He pesters Rose one last time before traveling back in time to reverse the outcome.
Future Dave arrives at the scene of his entry moments before things went to shit. After doing his best to dissuade John, he drops his loot for current Dave and dumps himself into the crow sprite, becoming Davesprite.
Future Rose’s timeline expires, imprinting her dream self onto her past self.
Cinematic 33: Rose Sleeps.
Davesprite trolls Terezi about impressionable doofs.
Dave chills with Davesprite.
John remembers Dave’s birthday note and reconsiders.
Dave pesters John about trust.
Karkat trolls John about mistakes, friendship, and the Veil.
Cinematic 34: Derse.
The Black Queen inflicts the dress code on Jack Noir. He rips off the motley costume, leaving only a tattered collar.
Dream Rose wakes and deciphers the Meow code written on her walls.
The kids’ Guardians blaze their own trails through the Medium.
Using the contents of the green box, Jack slays the Queen and puts on her ring, becoming the Sovereign Slayer.
End of Year One.
We use the fourth wall stolen from Jack’s office to intrude on the author of Homestuck.
Recap 1: The First Year of Homestuck.
John; the beta; the bunny; punch card alchemy; John’s entry; the kernelsprite; Nannasprite; Rose; the lab; paradox slime; Dave; Rose’s entry; the cork station; Wayward Vagabond; Peregrine Mendicant; Aimless Renegade; Jade; cloud visions; Prospit dreamers; John’s gifts; little Jade’s birthday; Parcel Mistress; Dad; Derse; abdication; Exile Town; coronation; Lowas; denizens; destiny; deviation; fateful mistakes; trolls; Trollian; their chumhandles; the Midnight Crew; CG; Jade’s reticence; GA and AT; GC; Windswept Questant; Jaspersprite; Derse dreamers; the doomed timeline; the Mystic Ruins; the crow’s nest; Dave’s entry; John’s flight; the dead end; Davesprite; Rose’s waking; Jack Noir; the Ring of Orbs Fourfold; the fourth wall.
AH: Engage in highly indulgent self-insertion into story.
AH: Forget it. Go back to work.
AH: Recap first year of Homestuck.
AH: I didn't read any of that. Do something less boring.
AH: Retrieve arm from background.
AH: Why don't you keep drawing Homestuck or something.
AH: This is stupid. Stop being a wiseass and get drawing.
AH: Can you show us what's going on with John again?
AH: That sounds like a good idea.
Pseudogame 13: Map of Lowas.
Terezi sends John to his second gate.
John rockets through the gate and crashes into Rose’s house on Lolar. He finds her sleeping.
Davesprite pesters John about the network of gates.
Dave pesters John to snoop on Rose’s notebooks.
Dream Rose greets Dream Dave.
John finds This Ocean Charles.
John opens Rose’s unfinished present to him. It is a grubby bunny half-covered in knitted patchwork.
John leaves Casey with Rose. Kanaya trolls Rose but John answers, pretending to be her.
John: Put the bunny back in the box.
Kanaya bugs Sollux to turn on her viewport.
Pseudogame 14: Professionalism.
Dream Rose tosses Lil Cal out of Dave’s tower.
Maplehoof follows Mom into some turtle ruins and through a transportalizer.
The breeze delivers a fresh hat to Dad, who follows Grandpa into some salamander ruins and through a transportalizer.
Rose: First, be the pony. Second, follow Mom.
John makes Hephaestus’s hammer on Rose’s alchemiter and pesters Davesprite about its origin.
Sollux opens Kanaya’s viewport.
Rose wakes up and walks right into John’s gushers prank.
John: Visit Rose's alchemiter.
John blasts off with Mutini/Meowgon. Rose adopts Casey/Viceroy.
Lil Cal lands on a rocket board. The Regulator follows him through a transportalizer.
John enters the turtle ruins and uses the transportalizer.
John enters a laboratory in the Veil. He finds some stuff the guardians left behind and some of the carapacian breeding apparatus.
John dons a lab suit and takes the controls.
The Regulator rides the rocket board out into the veil.
John: But seriously, keep exploring.
The Courtyard Droll follows the Mistress to Prospit and picks her pocket, taking the White Queen’s ring.
Dream Jade clobbers the Droll and recovers the ring too late to return it to the Mistress.
Cinematic 35: The Battlefield.
After three kernel hatchings, the Battlefield is a fertile globe on which Prospit and Derse wage total war. Angered when his farm is destroyed, Warweary Villein incites a rebellion of pawns from both sides.
The Mistress lands and discovers the ring is missing. The White King gives her his scepter, but the Hegemonic Brute attacks and knocks it away.
Jack Noir flies to the scene of the rebel army confronting the Black King, slays the King, and takes his crown.
Rose alchemizes sweet loot.
Rose: Alchemize a whole bunch of cool stuff.
Rose: Combine bronzed vacuum and umbrella.
Rose: Combine salamander and eldritch plush.
Rose: Combine ink bottle and Gushers.
Rose: Combine hubtop and hair band.
Rose: Combine magnetic W and bottle of vodka.
Rose: Combine wizard statue and ball of yarn.
Rose: Combine wizard statue and knitting needles.
Rose: Combine knittings and velvet pillow and squiddle shirt
Rose: Combine needlewands and grimoire.
Dream Jade builds up Dave’s house.
Dave alchemizes way sweet loot.
Dave: Combine sunglasses and iPhone.
Dave: Combine timetables and computer.
Dave: Combine puppet tux + smuppet.
Dave: Combine broken Caledscratch and ruby contraband.
Dave: Preview item with holopad.
Dave: Combine whole Caledscratch and ruby contraband.
Dave: Combine shitty sword and Hella Jeff drawing.
Dave: Combine Snoop Dogg photo and mini A/C and Caledscratch
Dave alchemizes the sweetest loot.
Dave: Combine skateboard and Hella Jeff drawing.
Dave: Combine Gamebro Magazine and timetables.
Dave: Combine batarang + Midnight Crew poster.
Dave: Combine plush puppet tux + Midnight Crew poster.
Dave: Combine plush puppet tux + Felt poster.
Dave: Combine smuppet and Felt poster.
Dave: Combine dead things in amber && smuppet.
Dave: Combine dead things in amber || smuppet.
Dave copies and reads Rose’s notebooks, then marks his place with the juice-stained betas and pesters Rose to find out why she is burning the original.
Dave: Combine camera and captchalogue card.
Dave: Combine fetus in a jar and self portrait photo.
Dave: Captcharoid the hologram of your own brain.
Dave: Combine brain and SBaHJ drawing and captcharoid camera
Dave: Make copies of Rose's journals.
Davesprite asks Rose what she remembers from the doomed offshoot.
The Draconian Dignitary steals the notebooks. In another offshoot, Dave rewinds time to intercept him. The Dignitary slays that Dave and absconds, leaving the body for main Dave to find.
Using a terminal calibrated by recent visitors to the cloning meteor, John appearifies paradox ghost imprints of Nanna, Grandpa, Bro, and Mom, creating their paradox clones.
Mutie recombines the imprints, cloning their offspring.
Eight babies are born on the cloning pad.
John: Press a button on the control panel.
John levels up to Ectobiolobabysitter.
Grandpa ferries Mom and Dad to Skaia on a space boat.
Karkat trolls John, revealing the paradox clone babies are John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Nanna, Mom, Bro, and Grandpa’s own past selves.
The babies attach themselves to various objects around the lab. Karkat trolls John about how they get to Earth.
John: Tend to little pink monkeys.
The Regulator discovers a Mystic Meteor in the Veil. Inside he finds an empty lotus time capsule and a console monitoring the Sassacre family. On screen, Baby Grandpa arrives by meteor and shoots the old Colonel with a flintlock pistol.
The Draconian Dignitary arrives with the notebooks and tosses the juice-stained betas into the lotus seed.
Karkat trolls John about Jack Noir.
Cinematic 36: Con Air Tribute.
Curtains.
Psyche.
Terezi trolls Dave about cool kid blood.
Tavros trolls Jade about naps. Kanaya trolls Rose about roleplay choices. Terezi trolls Dave about exploring his land.
Cinematic 37: Sovereign Slaughter.
The crow sprite pecks Dave off the antenna tower. Bro slices the meteor in half. Dave lands on Bro’s rocket board. The egg cracks, ushering Dave into the Medium.
Mom and Dad approach Skaia.
Jack, the Sovereign Slayer, massacres the rebels, sparing only the Villein, and devastates the Battlefield with some super deadly red shit.
The babies and their chosen objects—baby John with Sassacre’s text, baby Rose with the original bunny, baby Dave with Maplehoof, baby Jade with the patched bunny, baby Nanna with the soiled hat, baby Mom with Mutie, baby Bro with Lil Cal, and baby Grandpa with a pair of pistols—are transportalized out of the ectobiology lab and onto eight neighbouring meteors.
The Droll fetches the white sceptre and Jack uses it to activate the Reckoning. Meteors from the Veil begin speeding toward Skaia.
In the Mystic Meteor, the Dignitary recombines Halley’s imprint with the Meow code, producing Bec, whose green wrath horrifies the Regulator.
Jack hits Prospit with the red shit, severs Prospit’s chain, and flies to the Beat Mesa on Lohac to duel Bro. Bro stabs the Mesa, partially cracking its surface.
The Squiddles entangle Skipper Plumbthroat in a big tanglebuddy ball.
Dream John, still asleep, plummets to the Battlefield amid the wreckage of Prospit’s moon. Dream Jade throws him to safety and perishes in the collision. Her dreambot explodes, blowing Earth Jade out of her house. Dream John wakes.
Skaia’s defense portals intercept the oncoming meteors, sending them to Earth.
Dave enters his first gate. Rose destroys hers.
A meteor looms over Jade’s island.
Curtains.
Rose concludes her walkthrough.
The Villein rends the effigy of Jack and later becomes the Vagabond.
Dream John finds Dream Jade’s body and takes the ring she wore.
The Mistress slays the Brute, fulfills her bargain with Jack, delivers the green box to Dream John, and later becomes the Mendicant.
Dream John opens the package, finding letters from Jake and Jade and a robot bunny with legendary weapons. Jack’s intrusion snaps John out of his grief. With his bunnykind specibus, John wields the bunny, countering Jack’s threat.
The Regulator flees from Bec’s wrath and later becomes the Renegade.
The Regulator finds John sleeping in the ectobiology asteroid just as the reckoning launches it at Skaia. He ties John to the rocket board and sends him away to safety.
Jack absconds. Grandpa lands the space boat and recovers and taxidermizes Dream Jade’s body. Mom and Dad disembark.
The White Queen sails through a defense portal and later becomes the Questant.
The Questant repairs the cracked egg station. At the Mendicant’s coronation, the Vagabond reveals the ring he has been safeguarding.
We find the fourth wall in the spooky old lab in Jade’s house, flanked by Grandpa’s trophies including the stuffed Jade and Halley.
Recap 2: The Rest of Act 4.
John visits Rose; John fools Kanaya; Rose visits Dave; the guardians meet; John follows; John discovers ectobiology; the Regulator scopes the Mystic Meteor; Rose communes with the Horrorterrors; Dave accepts Terezi’s help; Dave enters; the Droll tails the Mistress; the Battlefield is prototyped; the Kings wield sceptres; the Kings lose their sceptres; John monitors the guardians; John clones the guardians; John clones his friends; Skaia sacrifices Earth; the babies take companions; John dispenses bunnies; the Regulator watches the Sassacre-Crocker family; the Dignitary creates Bec; Mom and Dad reunite; Tavros reveals dreamer mortality; Dream Jade dies; Dream John wakes; Dreambot explodes; Bro cracks the Mesa; Rose perverts her quest; the Exiles recall their exile; Grandpa lands; the Mistress and Jack trade prizes; John opens the box; the bunny repels Jack; the Vagabond reveals the ring.